My daughter is jealous of SO
So now the drama is that my BD12 thinks I spend to much time with my SO. On the weekends that we do not have kids, he works 3 days, 12 hour shifts. When he is home, he sleeps. I have to get my time in some how.
She got all upset when last night SO called me from work. My girls and I were playing a video game. I had not talked to SO much at all this weekend so I chatted with him for like 1/2 an hour. When I came out. She was all pissed off. She even said that my other hobbies take away time from her.
Now, mind you, I took both my kids out for a day of fun. McDonalds play place, shopping, watched tv shows that they picked, and we were playing a game before they went to bed.
Strange I know, complaining about my own daughter, but this is not usually covered in those stepparenting books. My BD10 loves SO! Probably trusts him more than her own dad.
Is what BD12 going through a phase? Any advice on what I tell her? It is not like I never spend time with them. I spend more fun time with them than my mother EVER did.
Help... 
I have the same issue w/ my
I have the same issue w/ my BD9. If she is wanting your time/attn at 12, give it to her. Most 12 yr olds are DONE with parents! They want to spend their time w/ friends and search out trouble LOL. She could be using this to push him away, but you will have to find the balance to make them both happy. It is not easy, but your daughter is still a work in progress and he can be a big boy.
Well, SO is all in favor of
Well, SO is all in favor of me spending time with my girls. She has no friends. She has a cell phone I got her when she had problems with her alcoholic father. The only person she texts is me, or calls. I have encouraged her to bring friends over. It was a disaster. All 3 girls invited 2 girls. Only 3 showed up, SD13's 2 and my BD10's 1. And that 1 ended up playing with the older 3!
I want her to be happy, but I can't be her best friend. She needs a real friend. I don't know how to fix that, or if I even can. Even I had good friends at this age. I am kind of introverted. What is the deal?
Thank you so much. I have
Thank you so much. I have explained it to her, but maybe not like that exactly. More like I am not just her mom, that I have other things in my life and that is a good thing.
Maybe coming at it from a different angle.
Thank you again so much!
Freedom is absolutely right,
Freedom is absolutely right, make it all about YOU and YOU needing adult time, and YOU wanted to talk to spend time with SO. Whatever you do try to make it all about YOUR needs and YOUR wants because if she thinks SO is getting all this attention because it is what HE wants she will just resent him, you do not want that. So if there has to be a good cop, bad cop thing in her mind, try and make yourself the bad guy and him the good guy if you get my drift. She will love you no matter what, you are her mom, him, well she could easily resent. I thik as Freedom has said, focus on you and your need for adult time. Good Luck I hope all goes well.
Once again, thank you. I see
Once again, thank you. I see your point. I am already the bad guy when it comes to my ex. Why not be the bad guy here as well. She will see when she is older what I had to do.
But it is not easy.
ok I went through the same
ok I went through the same thing and giving her what she wants isn't the answer your the adult here and she's the child yes she's attention seeking but so do 4 year olds and I wouldn't give a 4 year old what they wanted either.
you and your partner need to stand together