Disengaging and practical household issues
OK, I have read some extremely helpful things here, so thank you all so much! Here's the deal: I am fairly disengaged, but I wish to be fully disengaged. The only thing stopping me are those things that effect the whole family-namely the physical environment in our home. It's me, my husband, my BD12 who is here almost all of the time, and SD11 who is here 50% of the time. We have rules about cleaning up after ourselves. Me and my daughter are excellent at that, husband is so-so, SD11 sucks at it because she is a lazyass who doesn't think the rules apply to her. I quit telling the little b what to do several months ago when it comes to the chores that she does for allowance and I also quit paying it. Dad's in charge of that now. It's the "chores-but not really" that people who don't want to live in a pig sty do: IF YOU MESS IT UP, YOU CLEAN IT UP-you know, clean as you go things. Husband wont say anything to SD unless I ask him to. I HATE TALKING TO MY SD and I ESPECIALLY HATE TO TELL HER TO DO SOMETHING because she has a bad attitude and she does things half-assed, but her dad isn't going to take care of this ongoing problem and I feel like telling that little b once and for all that she WILL NOT leave her shit all over the house. Is there any other way to deal with this? I wasn't planning on sugar coating it, either.
It's even more BS because
It's even more BS because it's deliberate. I used to hide things, now I throw them away. Can't throw away my kitchen counter though.
I know how you feel. I have
I know how you feel. I have totally disengaged, but on the days that DH is off work and here with skid, I make myself scarce be it be by leaving or hiding away in my room. When he is gone, I come out and my house is a damned WRECK. Anything that is skids gets hurled into his room and I don't give a shit where it lands. The dishes in the sink, I do, although it disgusts me to do so. I do not do laundry anymore. If it is dirty, it gets chunked in the brat's lair or in the trash, depending on how shitty it is. After this last week, I have vowed that from now on, I will make my DH clean up all messes, because frankly, fuck them, it is not my job to clean up after their nastiness. I just straight up DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. If DH wants to divorce me OH FUCKING WELL.
How, exactly can you MAKE the
How, exactly can you MAKE the skids clean up after themselves when it comes to making their lunch and leaving cracker crumbs all over the counter. My lil bitch SD11 would just swipe them into the floor. And when she eats breakfast, the cereal ends up all over the table. IT'S WAY WORSE THE MORNING THAT SHE LEAVES TO GO TO BM's. Her attitude is kinda like, "fuck you step-mom, you WILL clean my shit up! Sorry, this is my 1st experience with a lazy, bitch kid. My daughter isn't perfect, she is clean, respectful, and loving though.
Thanks! My SD11 wont let my
Thanks! My SD11 wont let my bio daughter(12) play in her room or with her things. I always dread summer vacation because my daughter's room gets trashed and then lazy ass wont help her clean it up. So this summer, SD will not be allowed in my daughter's room. Thank you!!! As for the other issues, I talked to my husband about it today and he said we will talk to both kids at the same time on Monday when lazy ass comes back from BM's house. If he doesn't stand by me, I'm not doing another fucking thing around this house! Except when it's just my daughter here.
when the brats leave crap all
when the brats leave crap all over the counter brush it into a paper towel - add a little more debris (like jelly) and then go smear it on their pillow. Or on their favorite outfit that they are wearing the next day.
I would not do this with a 5 year old - but an older child who is just being obnoxious. Hell it might even be in her shoes.
Or if they are into FB - post pictures to all their friends of what a pig they are.
Or if all else fails - get out the squirt bottle.
i dont clean up after my skid
i dont clean up after my skid nor do i even mix her laundry with mine anymore cause she tosses nasty period panties in the laundry :jawdrop: its so gross, when i was growing up i remember rinsing them out not only out of respect for the person do the laundry but gross what if my siblings or father seen... yet this girl just dont care and i told her a couple times so now i just wash all her clothes whites, jeans and bloody undies in one load. i could care less if her whites come out white anymore since she obviously dont care about other peoples clothes.
skids learn from the person they live with and no matter what our household rules are they will not follow them. if BM a pig then skid will more then likely be one too.
skids are way to hard to change so i just try to change the way i do things and as hard as it is i try not to let the dirty room bother me and just keep the door shut and now doing serperate laundry....