Whats special about your SKIDS???
So I was sitting talking to my DH and he was going on and on about this weeks interest for his anti-social brats. Every week there is something new they never stick with anything. So I was sitting there and listening to the same crap different activity. My DH is a professional musician. He has traveled around the world playing his instrument in bands for some pretty cool singers and performng. Its hard at times but he has worked hard in college and studies and prctices dilligently. So all of a sudden the SKIDS this week want to put down the recorders and play a real instrument...which for them does not come natural like it does for my DH. So in so many words I say ...well I just don't see that sparkle in their eyes like I see when you play or listen to music...he comments well their my children so they are natural musicians.....Ummmmm no not true they can't sing, play instruments, or really pick out anything worth listening to. They honestly don't have it and I want to just scream that..but of course I'll be mean. LOL. They are too lazy to do much of anything right now other than become champions at watching TV. They are great at just sitting in front on the TV all day and night even to go to sleep...LOl so what's special about your SKIDS? What is their special talent? Mine have none....and I hope one day they discover their passion and talent so they can leave us the heck alone.
How old are your skids? I
How old are your skids? I think given the option, MOST kids would revert to watching TV and being lazy over pursuing a hobby or practicing an instrument.
Granted, it sounds like your skids are lazy and DH idolizes them anyway .. so clearly a disconnect between the two of you.
My skids aren't particularly great at any one thing. They're 5 and 6 (almost 7). They both play sports and excel at team work. SD5 will be an awesome soccer player with practice; she's also very creative artistically .. always painting, drawing, trying new mediums (paper, clay, etc). SD7 is a little fashionista .. loves designing clothes with paper dolls. Also artistic in that way; she has inspired vision for being only 7. SD7 is a good swimmer and loves to dive (although she's very new to it and has limited practice due to the weather).
Skids only get 30 minutes of TV a day, usually right before bed. When they're young, you have to encourage and push them to into other interests until they're old enough to decide for themselves. And when they decide, you can choose to encourage it or ignore it.
They are 10 and 13 and I try
They are 10 and 13 and I try and send them to lessons and camps. Encourage the older one who is middle school age to play sports at school...Yet, they would rather sit around and be lazy. I try to expose them to new things because I'm all for rooting them on if they are genuinely interested in something, but I refuse to waste money on a whim. Last summer we put them in a sports and arts camp so they could try a little of everything and maybe start to lean more towards something...They literally cried everyday we dropped them off...Pitiful
Yeah, it's hard to break
Yeah, it's hard to break habits that are in place already. It really takes both parents to push and encourage the kids from the time they're young as well. If BM and DH BOTH haven't been supporting and encouraging from when they were little, it likely won't work now.
It's tough, I'm sure, for your DH too .. because he's passionate about music, and wants his kids to be too.
I think the teen and pre-teen years are just going to suck, in general. I'm lucky in that my skids are still pretty young, so they're easier to deal with on a day to day basis and really enjoy trying new things. Although, they'd gladly sit in front of a TV all day too
Sounds like my DH. He is
Sounds like my DH. He is paying for piano lessons for his daughter who he SWEARS is a natural. His son also has hoop dreams of being in the NBA but hmmmm.....
Maybe I'll stop now...
My step-son is the absolute
My step-son is the absolute KING of excuses of avoiding bedtimes. After 6 years he has comes up with some real gems.
“I need a Band-Aid.” (he purposely cut himself with his fingernails)
“I just remembered I have a math assignment due tomorrow.”
“I need to brush my teeth again, my breath smells funny.”
“I’m scared of that movie I saw two years ago.”
“The rain on the roof is making it hard for me to sleep. Can I stay up until the rain stops?”
“When I close my eyes, I don’t see anything and I don’t like that.”
“The nightlight color is ‘weird’.”
“It’s not time for me to go to bed yet” (He changed the clock in his room to be 30 minutes behind)
And my all-time favorite:
“I can't sleep. My hair hurts.”
His wrist was in a cast last week. So naturally, all of last week, there was something about the cast that was bugging him right at bedtime. Funny how all day, there was nothing wrong with it. Only at bedtimes SS had an issue with his cast. Either the cast was too tight, too lose, it was itchy, etc.
My hair hurts???? Oh that's
My hair hurts???? Oh that's a gem...
Thats 2 of my 4 children. 2
Thats 2 of my 4 children. 2 of my sons always have the craziest excuses, some youve even listed lol.
Might I add
"I didnt get a big enough snack"
"My eyes hurt" Me: Well go to sleep YBS: No they only hurt when I close my eyes, can I stay up a lil bit longer and watch tv and then I'll just fall asleep" lol
I don't think they have any
I don't think they have any special talents. They've never been given a chance to develop any. BM refuses to put them in activities because they cost money, the kids would require transportation, and she's too damn lazy. DH and I had them both in martial arts for a year, but BM wouldn't bring them on her time and they missed too many classes to advance. So now they do nothing. (It's a shame too, cuz SS13 enjoyed it and was really good. SS8 wasn't great at it but did enjoy it.)
SS13 is really good at sitting in front of his video games at BM's. That's all he does there. He never, ever goes outside, reads a book or associates with other kids. SS8 is really good at watching Netflix and playing games on the computer. Which is all he ever does. At least at our house they read books, ride their bikes, and do family things. They're not hiding in their bedrooms in the dark with their electronics.
Oh, they're also very good at lying. They do have it down to a finely-honed art thanks to BM!
BS16 is an accomplished martial artist. I've had in activities (tee ball, baseball, soccer, school clubs) since he was 4. The difference between him and the skids is unbelievable.
^^^^ This is us. I try within
^^^^ This is us. I try within ur budget to expose them and put them in activities but BM will talk down about it so they come over and say its stupid and they refuse to go. Its weird to me...Yet, she refuses to take them or sign them up for anything.
I don't think they have any
I don't think they have any special talents. They've never been given a chance to develop any. BM refuses to put them in activities because they cost money, the kids would require transportation, and she's too damn lazy. DH and I had them both in martial arts for a year, but BM wouldn't bring them on her time and they missed too many classes to advance. So now they do nothing. (It's a shame too, cuz SS13 enjoyed it and was really good. SS8 wasn't great at it but did enjoy it.)
SS13 is really good at sitting in front of his video games at BM's. That's all he does there. He never, ever goes outside, reads a book or associates with other kids. SS8 is really good at watching Netflix and playing games on the computer. Which is all he ever does. At least at our house they read books, ride their bikes, and do family things. They're not hiding in their bedrooms in the dark with their electronics.
Oh, they're also very good at lying. They do have it down to a finely-honed art thanks to BM!
BS16 is an accomplished martial artist. I've had him in activities (tee ball, baseball, soccer, school clubs) since he was 4. The difference between him and the skids is unbelievable.
Does lying and manipulation
Does lying and manipulation count? If so, stepdevil14 is a professional!
Exactly right. I don't think
Exactly right. I don't think any musician picks up an instrument and is instantly good at it. You have to really encourage and support it, and they have to really work at it and stick with it .. and it takes support from BOTH sides to make it work.
My oldest took piano lessons
My oldest took piano lessons when he was... 6ish? Pain in the ass about practicing - like most 6yos. So I stopped lessons. At 14, he picked up an acoustic guitar. I paid for lessons, with the promise that he would get an electric if he stuck with it for a year. Which he did. Bt at which point he was more interested in composition and piano. He's now finishing his Junior year at a Conservatory, having his pieces performed in NYC, and looking at a Rhodes Scholarship in 2014/15. Sometimes, they come to these things in their own.
True .. sometimes they do. I
True .. sometimes they do. I think if any kid is going to truly pursue it, it has to be because they like it and want to.
What would've happened if he picked up the guitar and you said, "No, I don't think you're really serious about it and I'm not forking out any more money on your whims"?
The truth is, everyone knows their own kids better than any stranger on the web. No piece of advice or input is going to fit every situation.
Hence why I gave him a time
Hence why I gave him a time frame. But you're right... a stranger shouLdn't have a say.
He actually did...apparently
He actually did...apparently he played his instruments all day. My MIL said she use to take the keyboard and bass and hide it..LOL but he is a true exception becasue my oarents forced me to practice and I appreciate it now but then..whew I hated it.
There are some people (not
There are some people (not just kids) who are just naturally pre-disposed to certain activities/talents without any formal training.
Like the guy who gets a hole in one on his very first drive at the golf course but who has never in his life picked up a golf club.
It's extremely rare...but it has been known to happen.
Just made me think of Happy
Just made me think of Happy Gilmore. Thanks for that smile
I was actually thinking of a
I was actually thinking of a lady we used to work with. Went to the company golf tournament where we play "best ball". This lady never played golf in her life. Actually she confessed that she didn't want to go in the first place.
She kicked our asses...and yes, she got a hole in one.
Wow, that's awesome. Can't
Wow, that's awesome. Can't say I'm THAT good at anything in particular...
I loved playing golf tourneys in Hawaii when I lived there. The ex had them a lot and invited me to play. I am not that great but it was always a good time!
I'd practice after the golf course closed (used to live right in front of Hole #1 of the Hawaii Kai Golf Course), just chipping onto the green, out of the sand trap...FUN stuff!
This is skid too. That and
This is skid too. That and does having the ability to shit oneself whenever he wants attention count? Skid's got that one down pat. He also squeals and screams like a girl at the drop of a hat or flies into an uncontrollable rage for no reason too. That is always lovely. He can cuss like a sailor with touret's syndrome and is an expert manipulator.
SS13 is a master at all video
SS13 is a master at all video games. Yup, there is a marketable skill.
SSstb10 is a master manipulator and does NOTHING for himself. Seriously, we were on the phone with him last evening and EVERYONE in his house was looking for his power cord for his computer except him. He actually told DH, someone will find it for me. SMDH
Skids have never been put in any programs, BM won't pay for them or get them to practice or games. She has also given them ALL their excuses...ADHD, asthma, too good looking for sports (???) I think one of them was in T-ball years ago, but decided that he didn't like it because he wanted to hit the ball all the time and wasn't interested in being part of a team. I think he went to 3 practices and said he didn't want to anymore....money my DH paid, down the drain.
We've had the no-TV rule
We've had the no-TV rule during the day, and so far so good. However, DH has been here to keep them (SS10and SD11) entertained. Today is the first day they're starting to rumble about it because DH has to do a little work today.
I've never been around children so in love with the sound of their own voices. If there's not a conversation happening, they walk around making noises - la-la-la's, barking, whistles, random singing. DH says they're creative. Huh? I have a home office, and there's consistent disregard for my requests to keep the noise down. So I've put my headphones on, and DH is finally starting to go a little bonkers and get aggravated because he knows I won't be the bad guy and go tell them to shut it. It's up to him.
I think the problem with these two is that everyone in their lives feels so rotten that they have such a psycho for a mom that they've tried to make the skids "feel special" for a very long time,and this has only resulted in them being spoiled and feeling entitled.
I feel for DH because we don't get them on a regular schedule (YAY!), so he doesn't want the visit to be full of reprimands and discipline. I think that sounds like a perfect visit! lol
I've known some real
I've known some real musicians. They have a natural talent that no amount of practicing can accomplish. And they love it. Some that I know couldn't play enough even as children. One can certainly waste talent but you cannot create it no matter how much work is put into it.
My pathetic SS27 now brags about what a great chef he is. He works in a chain restaurant in the kitchen (not in charge). I doubt if they even have a chef as all of the food is sent in prepackaged and planned. You can buy the same entree in Dallas as DC - no difference at all. He's not even smart enough to realize that a chef creates dishes while a cook warms them up.
But to say something nice - He's tall, blond, with beautiful blue eyes and is drop dead georgeous. He did exceptionally well on the ACT as a teen before he dropped out of all educational endeavors. What a waste of space.
I do think all the alcohol and drugs have killed a lot of brain cells. This is the kid that thought my sea salt was cocaine.
I look at other children
I look at other children their age and I'm like...I want to brag about my stepchildren and all the many things they can do.. ... But they don't do anything and aren't encuraged or pushed t. If I push too much I'm mean if I do nothing I don't care its like a curse or something..LOL
SS6 is a kung-fu master, a
SS6 is a kung-fu master, a genius, can cure cancer, can read at an advanced level, is capable of doing calculus, is a diplomatic representative to the UN Peace Keeping Force, can speak seven languages, is so devestatingly handsome that others are blinded by his beauty, but is incapable of keeping his underwear clean. }:)
Is that a serious, legit
Is that a serious, legit question? :?
Hmmm...drawing a blank...NOTHING comes to mind (and nothing ever will). :sick:
Sorry I had to...
My SS27 has never outgrown
My SS27 has never outgrown that phase. He adored his older brother who was a true criminal (implicated in gang murders).
Sadly my Ss was a very good
Sadly my Ss was a very good baseball player. However the high school he goes to values money over talent and he didn't make the team. We were so pissed. SD is special because she has hit the ripe old age of 15 and still going strong(liver transplant).
My SS14 is a natural talent
My SS14 is a natural talent and plays the guitar, bass, piano, violin, mandolin, sings. He plays constantly, it's his outlet. He's also a natural mediator, always wanting peace. (he's lived with us for 4 years)
My SD15 is very dramatic, can sing, plays flute, some guitar...she flitters her talent away, doesn't practice and makes everyone miserable. She's also jealous of her brother because he's more popular. (lives with worthless BM and acts just like her...victim, victim, victim)
My SS23 is not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's a good worker and genuine. He plays guitar and banjo. (has a great, but over protective BM)
All three are extremely attractive.
^^^Yup
^^^Yup
Making babies with multiple
Making babies with multiple women. Like father like son.
Oh my gosh, I can soo relate
Oh my gosh, I can soo relate to this thread!! My SD12 (almost 13) is with us for Spring Break, has been here since Friday night. In that whole time, all she has done is eat, sleep, watch TV and text -- her usual! She is involved in NO extra-curricular activities. My DH blames her BM for this, which I feel is partially correct....BM provides for her basic needs (food, clothing and shelter), but seems not to want to spend the time or money to do anything extra for her. (BM recently moved to an area about 45 mins away from us, making it hard for us to do things with SD during the school/work week.) But SD doesn't seem to show much of an interest in anything, either. She has a few friends at school who do cheer leading, and when DH tried to talk to her about that, she was like, "No! I don't want to be a cheerleader!" I'm thinking, why not?? She is tall and thin....kind of a cute girl, but I would say average to below-average intelligence. She is already showing a huge interest in boys, and I truly worry she could end up on Teen Mom or something! I feel sorry for her in a way. As far as I know, she's had no friends invite her to do anything over the break. She seems to get involved in a lot of "girl drama" (I see it on Twitter), so.....I would say she brings some of her loneliness on herself. I don't really know what to do with her when she's here, so I just kind of let her be (partially disengaged). My SD19, well....he is currently taking two classes at our local community college and has no job. So, yeah....I guess all of that is what's special about my step-kids!!
sd20 is the first and only
sd20 is the first and only person to have ever been pregnant AND she gave birth to Baby Jesus. :sick: