Psych Types - Give me your opinions about SS10
SS stb11 has problems, IMHO.
The kid is obsessed with guns. I've posted about this before. He googles videos about "accidentally shooting someone" and "blood from shooting" etc. We have access to his search history. His mom does nothing about it and refuses him counseling.
I tried to call his school once, and they would not talk with me. They said they would not talk with DH unless he produced a court order indicating that he was allowed to discuss these matters with school officials. He IS allowed, per the court order, but of COURSE DH never pursued it any further.
Add to that: His grandfather died a couple months ago. We were VISITING said grandfather when it happened. The cousins (his age and younger) were all crying. SS10 asked me why everyone was crying. I had to explain to him that when someone dies they never come back - and it makes people sad because they love them/miss them. He just said a simple "Oh" and went on with his day, asking his cousins why they were sad.
Ok - we are moving really far away (2500 miles). DH was literally in tears agonizing over how he was going to tell him. When DH told him he just said "Oh" and then asked what we were going to do that day. DH went on to explain that we wouldn't see him very often and he said "Ok". It wasn't in a way that he was being a jerk, or trying to be difficult. He just has NO reaction to ANYTHING that it seems other kids at his age should. Almost emotionless.
Is something wrong with him? He does cry when he's in trouble for something, or in pain - like he falls and cuts his knee, etc. He's a bit of a class-clown type, always trying to make people laugh. He also doesn't understand boundaries. He will tell a joke that is really inappropriate, hurtful, mean, etc. We will explain why he cannot repeat it and why it would hurt someone else. He'll blink - look at us, and then say it all over again --- like he didn't even hear us.
It is. It's also a symptom of
It is. It's also a symptom of less terrible disorders. I would be concerned though. It's definitely not normal to not get upset over the death of a grandparent of parent moving far away.
Agreed. We just lost my
Agreed. We just lost my father and DD12 is beside herself with emotion - too much. My DS10, who is on the autism spectrum and not very emotional at all, will just say that he doesn't want to think about sad things. And my DS8 will get sad when we bring it up. It's been three weeks.
Thank you! I will definitely
Thank you! I will definitely check this link out.
I checked this out. The inner
I checked this out. The inner triangle thing really disturbed me when I compared it to SS. He has NEVER told DH that he loves him when DH says it to him. When I asked SS why he never says "i love you" back to him, he told me: "because love is just something parents and boyfriends do". I don't think the kid can feel empathy or love toward something else. When I started reading about how that affects a person's psyche, it creeped me out... more than I was already creeped out by this kid.
It sounds unnerving but what
It sounds unnerving but what you wrote could mean a lot of things.
An obsession with guns doesn't mean the kid is going to figure out a way to get his hands on one and start shooting people just to see what happens. However the suspect caught for the recent stabbings in Texas said to police that he always fantasized about stabbing people ever since elementary schoool Also, the death of a loved one is difficult for a child to reconcile especially if a kid has never had to grieve over anything before. Was he close to his grandfather? If the answer is no, then that could explain the lack of sadness.
That being said it may be worthwhile looking up a child psychologist/therapist for a consultation.
Trust me... I am not
Trust me... I am not anti-gun. DH and I have quite the collection.
What I have a problem with, is his obsession about someone bleeding, or accidentally shooting your friend, etc. It's really creepy the things he's choosing to look up.
Yes - he was close to the grandpa. I wouldn't have so much of a problem with him not crying. People mourn different ways. The thing was, he was completely COMPLETELY unaffected by the death. Almost like we told him that we were out of Frosted Flakes for breakfast - and then he asked what other cereal we had. People all around him crying and he's sitting there like nothing happened. I'm telling you - it was creepy.
Wanna know what his fascination was though? He wanted to know what Grandpa's dead body looked like, whether they were going to burn him, and whether he could touch his dead body!!!! << Seriously.
Also - we would love for him
Also - we would love for him to get counseling. BM is not agreeable and she is custodial.
Talk to the school councelor,
Talk to the school councelor, principal etc.
That's what I did when my SS's Douchebag of a father tried to block us from trying to have SS seen by a child psychologist. SS's father would not listen to us but when the doctors, teachers, principal started calling him, *THEN* he took things more seriously. Turns out my SS had ADHD. He would have been never diagnosed if I didn't push.
She has sole legal custody.
She has sole legal custody. He has visitation only. The CO says that he is allowed access to their medical records and school records. He can make decisions regarding medical care in emergency situations only. Kind of ironic when he is a DOCTOR!
However, that was a voluntary decision on his part because she used it as a bargaining chip to get what she wanted in the divorce. She and her attorney guilted him into it by saying that he worked so many hours, etc and it would be best for the kids, blah blah blah. His attorney advised against it, but also said that if his goal was to get things settled outside of a long battle that it would probably "work". She swore up and down that she would allow him to be involved, etc. At the end of the day, the older 2 skids are completely PASed and the SS10 is well on his way.
sounds like he's kinda
sounds like he's kinda Aspergers to me. Poor social skills, difficulty understanding other people's emotions, poor ability to read social ques... I'm not sure what to say about the fascination with guns though...
Agree with Snowdrop - the
Agree with Snowdrop - the several main symptoms you describe - obsession with a particular object or situation; inability to feel or recognise the expression of appropriate emotion - sound classic Asperger's/autism spectrum.
This is interesting,
This is interesting, ladies.
His teacher has asked for him to be evaluated, but BM will not allow. We pay for the insurance, and have to get it authorized. Hence, one of the main reasons I've attempted to talk with the teacher. Our insurance actually require that she complete a survey. However, BM will not provide school with permission to complete it - nor will she get it completed herself. So... he's not been evaluated.
Whatever. This kid is going to struggle with everything in life... he's probably going to end up being a criminal. They don't respect me, care about me, etc. Why should I care?