Dropping SD18 from insurance for graduation
So SD18 graduates on Friday. She ran off to her BM's 3.5 years ago after making false accusation of abuse towards DH. In the 3.5 years since she's been gone she lied on her mother's behalf in court and tried to pull the DH abusive card to take SD13 to her BM's. Only 1 year before SD18 testified that her father was not abusive and very loving. Thank God the judge saw her manipulation. SD18 has done too numerous of horribly hateful and manipulative things to explain here. Needless to say he is not invited to graduation on Friday. DH financial agreement is to only cover her insurance until she's 18 and graduates from high school or if she drops out of high school. DH and I plan to terminate her from DH's insurance on Monday. Feeling terribly guilty knowing she has a root canal planned for next week and she plans to attend college in the fall. DH has only heard from SD18 two times in 3.5 years. No contact in past year!
^^^^Yep, if she doesn't have
^^^^Yep, if she doesn't have the decency to contact him in more than a year, I'd be dropping her ass from insurance the minute she is handed her diploma. No need to feel guilty either. Not your fault!
Don't feel guilty. She would
Don't feel guilty. She would have been happy enough to land your DH in jail. BM at the very least knows when CS and insurance obligations are over - if they wanted it covered, they should have gotten it done before.
As for college, meh, she can get insurance through the school as long as she's full time. You do not need to feel bad about no longer funding someone that is hateful to you and your husband.
Make sure you notify her
Make sure you notify her FORMALLY. You also need to give her 30 days notice. Do it via USPS and get a signed receipt.
Why? It gives you time to establish removed liability.
A lady I work with her XH did the same to her twins when they turned 18 last year. The XH canceled their health insurance AND their auto insurance with NO NOTICE. The son had a car accident with major medical implications for both himself AND for the other vehicle. We are talking to the tune of several hundred thousands of dollars for the son's accident. It was the son's fault, but it honestly was just an accident.
Fast forward.... the kid sued. The son's case went to judgement. The XH tried to argue that since the child was an adult he wasn't liable and the son was liable for "not having insurance". The judge ruled against the XH saying notice should have been given. The bills have been huge.
I won't give a news article because I don't tell people where I live, but there are several examples like it out there (I just looked).
Don't just drop the kid. Take the time to do it right and reduce your liability. Remember, and ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure. Is there _any_ likelihood of there being a need to wait? No! But, isn't that why we have insurance in the first place?!?! To protect us from those "oh crud" moments.
Kate
ETA: oh, and just to make it clear that I'm not viewing this from the wrong side... I would have done this 30+ days prior to her graduation. I would have given notice that insurance ends on X June 2013. Whatever date after the graduation it can be.
Thank you everyone. I will
Thank you everyone. I will have husband notify her formally and I will stop feeling guilty. Thank you for this info. Figured it was covered in CS order so thought it was all set. He verbally notified BM but her word is garbage.
Oh, for that reason alone I
Oh, for that reason alone I would do this formally in SIGNED format. Don't give them a chance to mess with your pocket.
Kate
I would give her notice, but
I would give her notice, but state it in a way that "as per the CO, health insurance will be terminated effective...:. Really, they have had the notice, as it's written in the CO that he can terminate, but they might not think he will do so immediately. Better to cross your t's and dot your i's.
We had to drop my SD's
We had to drop my SD's insurance. They required her address and since she moved and refused to let us know where she lived, we couldn't GET her address.
Either way, I am sure it is better for her NOT to be on our insurance. She is a single teen mother and gets medical assistance to pay for everything.
Wow! Thank you all for your
Wow! Thank you all for your help! This website has been so helpful to vent. No one besides step-parents understand our unique challenges.
Will he save money by
Will he save money by dropping her from the insurance, or do you need a family plan anyway?
Well guess what? After 3.5
Well guess what? After 3.5 years and almost no contact, she called to invite us to her graduation. I am not going. Of course DH is reconsidering dropping her from insurance. I don't think he wants to see it for the manipulation that it is. It will not cost anymore to keep her insured. We are worried that we will be responsible for outstanding medical bills. BM used to not pay anything and would doctor shop when bills were unpaid.
When my SD turned 18 last
When my SD turned 18 last fall she promptly moved out without telling us, so I immediately dropped her from the car insurance & health insurance...of course we had to wait til January 1st for the health insurance to drop her (well longer since they didn't but that's another story). It didn't cost us anything extra to have her on there, but my feelings are if you can't be a part of our family & treat us with respect then why should I insure you (yes, I insured her not DH or BM).
Her graduation is also coming up this weekend & you guessed it...no invite, well no real invite. YSD brought home an announcement that doesn't list where or what time the ceremony is & no name on the front of the envelope, so I don't consider that a real invite. I'm not going, but apparently DH is.
I dropped each of the skids
I dropped each of the skids off the insurance as soon as they turned 18 -- told them they would get better rates by themselves - -I didn't give a crap -- but got tired of asking them for the monthly premium fee and them being little jerks about it. Soon as SD18 was 18, I called the insurance company immediately and took her off of our insurance, set her up with her own policy (with her permission) and off she was! No more our responsibility if she didn't have the money to pay, no more having to ask her for the money, no mo nothing!
And who cares what everyone else thinks? Seriously?! The way I look at it, is they think I'm mean as it is, might as well just act that way. Yep - I'm a bitch now. Didn't used to be .... they turned me into one.
I dropped each of the skids
I dropped each of the skids off the insurance as soon as they turned 18 -- told them they would get better rates by themselves - -I didn't give a crap -- but got tired of asking them for the monthly premium fee and them being little jerks about it. Soon as SD18 was 18, I called the insurance company immediately and took her off of our insurance, set her up with her own policy (with her permission) and off she was! No more our responsibility if she didn't have the money to pay, no more having to ask her for the money, no mo nothing!
And who cares what everyone else thinks? Seriously?! The way I look at it, is they think I'm mean as it is, might as well just act that way. Yep - I'm a bitch now. Didn't used to be .... they turned me into one.