An empty Tiffany's blue box. But I am evil like that.

A swift kick in the ass before you shove her out the door and lock it behind her?

A book - on etiquette, passive aggressive behavior, boundaries - take your pick.

Maybe you can find one named "What to do when your daughter is a bitch?"

I would be with your DH on this one, if she is so picky, picky, just give her money, especially as she has criticised gifts in the past.

Either that, or get her a piece of jewellery with "narcissistic bitch" engraved on it. }:)

If she barely talks to you and it's been years, why acknowledge her with a gift at all?

Simply send a card and Congratulations.

Stepdevil14 has pulled this shit as well. DH has sent her a birthday card and a Christmas card and this year will do the same.

Why reward her with gifts?

I'm with the others who are saying not to reward her shitty behavior, a card will be enough. BUT if you really want to give a gift, how about a gift certificate to a frame shop to have her diploma framed?

Nothng wrong with giving cash. Forget about a sentimental gift. It won't be appreciated, as you've already experienced.

We no longer give my ss15 gifts either. We did up until this last year. I, personally havent spoke to the kid in about a year. My dh last attempted to speak to him in April when he came with mil to pick up some insurance paperwork. The kid answered in monosyllables and didnt even look up at dh. Previously, in January he texted dh that he no longer considered dh his dad and that he was done with him. So, yeah, no gifts for you buddy. I know we had tossed around getting him an xmas gift. My dh felt that anything less than several hundred dollars would be disparaged by ss. I had suggested something sentimental and meaningful as well-but dh was in actuality correct. A Bible, a scrapbook of old family photos, etc would have probably ended up in the trash.

If your dh IS on speaking terms and there is simply distance and no particular conflict I would at least give some sort of token aknowledgment. Certianly a card and perhaps something related to going to college or whatever her chosen path it. Honestly, a book is a good idea. Something about becoming an adult, mature responsbilities, etc. Be creative!

I would be inclined to give her a gift card of some sort...Target, Starbucks...something like that, but not with too much money on it. Simply just to acknowledge that it is a special day. I also like the idea of a book about becoming an adult, mature responsibilities, life in the real world, etc.

we're dealing with this too right now. My SD18 moved out when she turned 18, and only has anything to do with us when she wants something. We feel like if we do nothing then we're bad parents (my DH anyways) -- I don't care! So we're doing cash. how much? Don't know yet. But when I put my heart into picking out something that I think is a nice gift, only to find it in the garbage later -- screw her, she isn't getting anymore heart felt gifts from me. My DH even plans their BD parties now because I've had it with his skids.

basically it's guilt money -- you do it cuz you feel like you have to, otherwise people will talk bad about you. But I've also realized they talk bad about me anyways -- no matter what I do! No matter the amount of money we give her, it won't be enough and she'll bitch.

So the solution -- give cash -- agree on a small sum -- send it in a card and call it good!

I guess I'm the meanest SM around. SD18 graduates this weekend & I have no plans to give her anything (and neither does DH as fas as I know). I wasn't invited to her graduation & technically neither was DH, even though he's going.

Maybe her twit of a mother will actually get her something nice as opposed to pawning the earrings DH's mother left to SD when she died...

My DH asked me what we should give SD18 for graduation, and my response was like another posters "a swift kick in the ass." Then I continued to watch tv. Then he asked me again. I told him I have a reputation to live up to -- she says I'm "mean and hate all her friends." So I don't want to give her anything. He says $200? I responded "hell no." And he says "that's why you're considered mean." I said I don't care -- I gave her a frickin car two years ago, she should be good for a while. She's a frickin idiot. I don't want to give her a dime.

She is awful.

Send her a T-shirt that reads..

"Holy FUCK! I ACTUALLY graduated..yup..we're all in shock!"

You can get them made up for $15.00 flat. Preferably in black with the lettering done in bright vomit green colors :sick:

My husband got SD a trip to Italy for her high school graduation!!!!! Obviously, that was before I was weighing in on gifts.

I'd give your SD cash, but keep it modest. That will appease your husband and anyone who wants to blame you two for not giving her anything. You can speak volumes by the number of digits on a check.

Until 7mos later when his actions warranted it.

He was lucky his mom nor I strangled him (figuratively of course) during his last  year of HS.  There is a long story to this but in a nutshell  he basically flunked  out of the top 20 boarding school we provided him with.  We jerked him home at mid year of his Sr. year and put him in our local HS to either graduate on time or be dropped of at the Philly homeless camp on graduation day.  While on the surface this may seem harsh, our local HS was the best in the state.

We scared the crap out of that kid so badly that he did graduate on time and with honors.  We flew my ILs in for SS's graduation and my parents did decide to show up just to give my wife some support. But all in all... graduation was a blaring disappointment for all of us.  My ILs were like deer caught in the high beams trying to understand what was going on.

We planned no celebration and to fill in that gap I picked up a grocery store cake, napkins and table decorations on the way home from the ceremony just so we would all have something to do rather than sit around staring at each other.

For Christmas that year we did give him a new car as a combo HS graduation/Christmas/USAF enlistment gift.

But that was one looooong year let me tell  you.

The meanwhile nearly 8yrs later and back at the ranch update is that the Skid is doing great.  He will complete  his first 7yrs in the USAF next month. He is 6mos into a 3 year Germany assignment and indicates that he intends to do 20 and make the USAF his first career.  His mom and I are very proud of him and so it the rest of the family.