I hear what you're saying and can't agree with you more. When I initially signed up on this site I was not looking for complaints but rather help/direction. I've matured enough to recognize that its not the kids - really. Its the parents overall which I'm most upset with. It's just human for any of us SP's to be frustrated and angry when the SKids act out, based on poor discipline by one or both BP's. My SS is quite a good kid. It's not his fault his BM is a hypochondriac - thus he has also integrated this manipulation on us - daily. It's challenging as ever however, with lots of pray I'll gain more grace in how I react to this. I'll never have it perfect & that's okay. However, I do know it's most important for me to have place to vent (as all humans do) & not feel so alone in the world of Step-parenting. Unless you've been one.....no BP can say "I totally understand". Just as for me, I can never say I know what it's like to be a BP or divorced BP. With good counseling I have learned that as my SS SM all I can do is treat him as if I'm his camp counselor. I give love, I provide rules and there are good/bad consequences associated with those rules compliance. I'm not his Mom and never want to be. I certainly might not allow 1/4 of what my SS gets away with but it is what it is. As my counseling taught me...my SS has 2 families whether he likes it or not but he will come to accept this regardless. I can't make him love me and that's okay by me. For I know as with any child we are doing our darnest to raise productive, polite, kind, caring, loving, hard working men & women for the next generation. That's our overall job as adults. Sure, venting is needed - we're human but I do agree we need to get better about helping each other and supporting each other verses jumping on board with lowering ourselves to a level that isn't helpful by only complaining.

I agree. I take breaks from the site when I feel myself start looking for things SD does to annoy me. When SD has been with us for a full week or it's just been a really stressful weekend, I'll come here to vent.

You know what I love the most about this post? You're really taking accountability and being honest about the situation. If there is ONE thing I never believe, it's when posters show up talking about how their DH is a fantastic dad and their biokids are absolute angels ... but skids and/or BM are absolutely awful and therefore 100% the problem.

What you're feeling is absolutely normal and natural, and I really commend you for acknowledging it and doing what you can to improve the situation. You seem really self-aware