SD5 acting out and I'm holding grudges
During the past year my SD who is 5 has been seriously getting a bad attitude about her. She used to be sweet and easy to get along with and spend time with and now it's harder because she is just rude to everyone. She acts like she is better than everyone and is in competition for everyone's attention all the time. She has been getting into trouble at our house and at her BM's house a lot lately for attitude/being mean/etc. So when she comes to our house (we have 50/50 custody) I just dread it. I can't just let her behavior go. Her dad does. After a few minutes he's fine and joking around and playing with her again and I hold a grudge and don't forgive her right away. Is this because I don't have any kids of my own yet? I'm pregnant now so I know I will be going through things soon that he is now with her. I just don't understand how you can just instantly forgive behavior even when it happens over and over no matter how many times she gets in trouble and with her knowing that she's doing something wrong. Am I just not normal that I don't forgive quickly? I feel so guilty about it but I can't help my feelings, I can't just act like I'm ok with the way she acts.
I understand what you're
I understand what you're saying. SS10 does things that really irk me and it's really hard for me to let go of the grudge right away. For me, getting away really helps and my fiance understands. I'll tell him I need to go for a drive or something - Usually going to the car wash is therapeutic for me.. Don't ask why.
In your case maybe going and sitting next to a lake, enjoying some ice cream and clearing your mind might be good for you and your baby that's on the way. Good luck.
After a few minutes he's fine
After a few minutes he's fine and joking around and playing with her again and I hold a grudge and don't forgive her right away. Is this because I don't have any kids of my own yet?
This is at my house too, also 50-50 and SS7 does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, he is mean spirited and even if DH 'talks' to him about it, within 2 mins he is tickling him and laughing (btw - talking to him does nothing - DH is so afraid to upset him that discipline is non-existant)
and I hold the grudge, typically whatever wrong doing was directly to one of my children or myself anyway.
So NO, once you have kids, frankly it could get worse - because you will see that by parenting your child, most of the bad behaviour can be avoided, and by your DH and mine choosing not to parent, you are left with having to deal with the outcome...
Plus, you will have to protect your child from the bad behaviour and hope you can parent YOUR child around it.