slightly panicked!!
ok, im here off and on, mostly things are good but I did post awhile aback in another forum about sd 13 wanting to live with us and I wanted to know the process for this. well omg we had them all weekend, things were great, we drop them off, her and the 8 yr old get in a fight and the next thing you know im on the phone with bm. sd 13 wants to come live with us. we know this decision is out of anger and a fight but she wont let up and dh went to go get her. he told her and bm that if I get her this is it. I go to court tomorrow and start the process. this is it. she tried to say we will still have to pay ALOT of CS for the younger but I don't think so right? she makes close to what dh makes, so it should cancel out if he has one and she has the other. is that right? and what about insurance? does he have to still carry for the one that we have custody of or does she? before when I posted, people told me to ask for certain paperwork, etc so I will do that first thing in the morning. she also said she is sending her with only the clothes on her back. so im documenting everything. she thinks she will do this as a threat and the kid will go back home in a couple weeks, days whatever. dh said, if she comes now that's it. we file and shes ours. is this right? have any of you done this?
Before you start worrying
Before you start worrying about health insurance and CS, know that unless BM agrees with SD13 coming to stay with you guys, and signs custody and CS papers, no judge is going to let a 13 year old decide to live with the NCP just because she wants to.
>>dh said, if she comes now that's it. we file and shes ours. is this right? have any of you done this?<< Um, no, that's not how it works.
You have to have a significant change in circumstances for a change in custody, i.e. child is failing in school, mom is an abusive, alcoholic crack head, etc. The judge is not going to award your DH custody just because the 13 year old wants to live with daddy. Your DH will have wasted time and money on legal fees.
Isn't that dependent upon the
Isn't that dependent upon the state?
No matter what the state,
No matter what the state, custody can not be changed just because a child wants it to.
You can google it, or talk to an attorney like I did when I was trying to help my exBF.
In some states, the judge will take into consideration a child's wishes, and the older the child is the more weight he will give it, but there isn't a state where a judge will change custody where the only reason for doing so is because the child wants it.
Just think of the havoc this could cause otherwise. Kids would be switching custody all the time to live with the "fun" parent.
I had always wondered about
I had always wondered about that.
Yeah, my exBF was always
Yeah, my exBF was always telling his son that when he turned 12 he could tell the judge he wanted to live with his dad and POOF! it would happen.
The first time I heard him saying this a little alarm went off in my head. I thought it was wrong to be telling this boy this and getting his hopes up. After I researched it and found out the truth, I told him about it. And then when he went for a consultation with an attorney he confirmed it again with the attorney.
It's one of those wishful thinking things. People jump to conclusions with family court, thinking it should be one way and then get pissed when things don't work out the way they think it should. At least that's what happened with my exBF.