I have a 17 y/o SS who thinks it's okay to hit me .
I have a 15 y/o SS who thinks it's okay to hit me . He has level 10 autism which is the lowest form of it , and he acts like a baby when he doesn't get his way . All is fine until you tell him no , and he throws a temper tantrum just like a little kid . He cries , screams , kicks, and breaks stuff . it doesn't matter what it is he wants to do, if you tell him no he goes "crazy" . He is bigger than me and thinks he can hit me when he gets mad . I tell his mom and she says to stop making him mad . I don't do nothing to him except tell him no . He now thinks since I am not allowed to say anything to him or to whip his ass , that he can do what ever he wants to me . He lies and says I do stuff to him that I don't . I have video recorded of him acting out at me. I am at my wits end with him and his action just may be enough to push me out . It takes every ounce of strength I have to keep from whipping his ass like I would a grown man who puts his hands on me . His mom says I can't touch him or call the police on him either . When riding in the car he wants to go to a store that we are not going to and I say no , he reaches from the back and hits me over and over . His mom says stop to him and he hits her too while she is driving . I guess I am suppose to just sit there and let him pound away on me and not do anything back . I am afraid that one day I will just lose it and knock him the "F" out . Wife says if I hit him she will have me arrested but it is okay for him to hit , kick , spit , and break stuff . HELP !!!!!! What can I do besides pack my stuff and leave ??????
Sorry, wife or not and after
:jawdrop: Sorry, wife or not and after her little spill about not doing anything..... I would so drop kick that little sob and call it a day. Mental illness or not, there is no excuse for that behavior!!
It seems that your wife is
It seems that your wife is using a dx of Autism as an excuse for bad parenting skills on her part. She created this monster and now has an expectation that everyone should go along to get along with her shortcomings. I have known many people with Autism and believe it or not, they do not exhibit the behavior that your SS exhibits. As a matter of fact, they usually take their frustration out on themselves. The problem is, she has taught him that by acting this way, people give in and he gets what he wants....so the cycle will keep repeating until someone STOPS allowing HIS nasty behavior. She has made it clear with her actions that she isn't going to change, and she has threatened what will happen to you if you attempt to change it. Sooooo, either learn to give in to get along, OR pack your bags and leave. I don't see this speeding train coming to an end on it's own. Me thinks you're just going to have to pick a side of the tracks that are most appealing to you. Good grief, bullied by a skid AND the BM. You've got your work cut out for you. My apologies. :jawdrop:
THIS There is nothing I can't
THIS
There is nothing I can't stand more than parents hiding behind the whole "My kid has Aspergers/Autism/ADHD" excuse as to why their kids have behavioral problems. Other than being told no, any other symptoms of this so-called high functioning autistic teenager?
AlreadyGone is right, they usually take it out on themselves, not other people. They might accidentally hurt someone while they panic (very, very sensitive to sensory stimuli, and changes in schedule and routine) but rarely, if EVER on purpose. (Worked with autistic kids in college as I was studying mental disorders as my major.)
In any case, your best bet is to leave his mother, since it sounds like you all might end up on the front page of the newspaper in a fatal car accident if this keeps up.
How big is he compared to
How big is he compared to you? If you call the cops on him, could he then turn around and lie and say you abused him? That's what I'm most worried about.
The other thing is, one day, this kid may push you beyond your limits and you might hit him. And you might possible go to jail.
I don't think there is a good solution to this that would allow you to stay there, there are too many things beyond your control.
Urm. I got so wrapped up in
Urm.
I got so wrapped up in your story I wrote a long post but now I'm editing it...
Cause, well... how come you say in the title of your post your SS is 17 but in the body of your post that he's 15.
Theres a word they use in this forum for when someone's pulling your leg with a story, and I'd call it now if I could remember it
Why the discrepancy?
Oh I see it now . I was
Oh I see it now . I was typing it on my I-Pad while sitting on the toilet . That's the only place I get peace . His age is 15 soon to be 16 . I typed 17 by error . I assure you I am not a Troll .... Me and SS had a nice long talk last night and I told him about the comments I received about either me leaving or pressing charges against him . So far today he has been good and I hope it will last .
Fair enough, thanks for
Fair enough, thanks for explaining.
Best of luck to you, I hope your wife also realises the importance of helping her son face up to consequences. It isn't an easy road dealing with an autistic kid, even high functioning, but it helps knowing their learning curve usually continues on past that of most other kids. Best to get him on that journey soon, though.
It also helps to remember what he doesn't get instinctively with social rules he can learn intellectually, kind of like learning to play the piano. Socially most people are born knowing how to play, autistic kids have to learn by repetition and practice. Making sure he faces up to consequences is part of that practice, hard as it is on everyone involved. It also helps to pick your fights well and let the lesser problems take back stage to the bigger ones.
Fingers crossed for you all, and us as well
My SD raised hands to me when
My SD raised hands to me when she turned 18, she said now she was old enough to beat my ass. I laughed at her. She came at me and my DH did not step in. I put her down as fast as she came....lol.
Two words: FOSTER CARE!!! It
Two words: FOSTER CARE!!! It sounds like to me this child needs to be in a place where he can be helped way beyond what you or your wife can do. If she can't control her child, then he needs to be removed from the home as he is violent and he's got emotional issues that she, as his BM, cannot deal with. If you've been threatened by this child, keep calling the police and have someone remove him from the house at once. Call Child Protective Services too...tell them what's going on and what you could do. No one should live in a house where there is abuse, lying, threats or anything negative.
Then I would leave my spouse because she did nothing but enable this behavior.
Two words: FOSTER CARE!!! It
Two words: FOSTER CARE!!! It sounds like to me this child needs to be in a place where he can be helped way beyond what you or your wife can do. If she can't control her child, then he needs to be removed from the home as he is violent and he's got emotional issues that she, as his BM, cannot deal with. If you've been threatened by this child, keep calling the police and have someone remove him from the house at once. Call Child Protective Services too...tell them what's going on and what you could do. No one should live in a house where there is abuse, lying, threats or anything negative.
Then I would leave my spouse because she did nothing but enable this behavior.
having a SS with a disability
having a SS with a disability is a challenge but ANY violence should never be condoned. your wife should protect you. parents somehow lose their guts when it comes to controlling their bio children. they feel guilt. next time this happens, call social services...or the police.
As Foxy said "you have to
As Foxy said "you have to teach" both BM and SS a lesson or many lessons in fact.
1. It is not ok to hit you(or anyone) ever
2. It is not ok to distract the driver of a vehicle
3. It is not ok to throw temper tantrums
4. Other people can be hurt by bad behaviour
5. It is not OK to hurt other people
6. It is not ok for your son to abuse your spouse
7. Your spouse deserves your loyalty and support
8. You know your child has problems - get him help with his behaviour
9. I will leave if the 2 of you don't change your attitudes and behaviour.