Went to Brother In Law's Wedding...
:sick:
Can you say FARCE??? I went anyway because well, I was told to go. Yes, TOLD! "You hate my family! You never liked them."
No, they treat me like ****, you idiot.
So we went to the wedding and the bride, Janet, had the personality of watching cement dry. All she cared about were her grandchildren while her older parents did all the cleaning up and the minister was bloviating so badly. The music didn't go off right, my DH started flexing his pecs in the middle of the ceremony, and well, one of the children was screaming its bloody head off in the bathroom the whole time.
The bride wore white and I snorted at that. I proudly wore my pentagram out and people stared at me like I was The Devil himself. The minister stated, "Oh I don't care about what faith you are." Then I showed him what I wore and he was agitated to say the least. I was very uncomfortable there and I about laughed my head off because the whole wedding was a joke.
We had to pay for our OWN meal at the reception. What a joke and how tacky!! When I tried to talk to Janet, she seemed that she didn't want to talk to me and her grandkids wanted her attention the whole time. I told Scott we should not have went because my poor MIL was ignored a lot too.
I almost took the rental car to my ex's house to get my cat Scoobie Snack but thought against it. I almost did because I want my cat back.
Right now, as I'm speaking, I've got a new "Friend" that I've been talking to and we've been talking day and night. He makes me laugh, he is funny, he is engaging, he likes what I like and when we talk, the world goes away for a while. When I started to cry, he was "There" in a way to wipe my tears. Now mind you I'm not in a relationship with him so everything is "CLEAN". But it's nice to know that I have a special friend that I care about deeply who cares about me and loves the things I love. Affair? No. Deep caring friendship? Yes. Do I love him? Not yet. I'm too scared to love anyone right now...even my DH.
It's an emotional affair;
It's an emotional affair; just as bad to most people who aren't perpetuating one.
As for the wedding .. you should've stayed home. If your whole intent was to go and poke fun and make people uncomfortable, I'm sure they would've appreciated the gesture of your non-attendance much more than your presence.
I'm not even sure if this post is real ...
I totally agree on all counts
I totally agree on all counts with SMof2Girls.
And, yes, you absolutely are having an affair.
This post is real. No,
This post is real.
No, you're right, I should not have gone however I went because I was hounded in going although I felt uncomfortable. They knew my ex husband lived where we went and the wedding was nothing but a farce. The music wasn't played on time, the minister bloviated too much about his own feelings without talking about the bride and groom, and no one really talked to my MIL. As far as me being a Wiccan, I'm not ashamed of my beliefs or who I am. If this was a joke, I wouldn't be posting it. I'm sad and I'm upset at the way my DH has been yelling at me because of his family's issues and how I'm supposed to just "deal with them". No I don't have to deal with them; that's why there is counseling and it's not working.
My DH needs an anger management class, period. I'm fed up with his anger at me at every little thing I do. He snaps, he's rude and he doesn't care who he makes fun of..including me and it's quite rude.
As I said, if this was a joke, I would not post it here. I'm upset enough as it is that my BIL had his FOURTH wedding just to show up my DH and I. That's all it was for and for that, I am angry. It breaks my heart...
You're not kidding anyone. I
You're not kidding anyone. I don't care if you're Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, or whatever .. when you INTENTIONALLY throw your religion into people's faces at an otherwise religious ceremony for the sole purpose of getting a reaction, it's rude and childish.
If you didn't want to go, you shouldn't have gone. If you CHOSE to go, despite all the drama and awkwardness, then it's on YOU to behave yourself.
You're having an affair whether you admit it or not. Ask your husband how he feels about your relationship with this "new friend" and see what he says. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you can't honestly tell your husband everything about this "new friend", then you KNOW something isn't kosher.
The post may not be a joke,
The post may not be a joke, but you kind of are, aren't you? I feel bad for your DH.
What kind of responses were you expecting to get for this?
You are having an affair. Period.
You posted two names. An
You posted two names.
An affair is an affair.
Having your guests pay for food or drinks at your wedding is tacky.
You're an adult. No one can force you do anything. If you didn't want to go, you should have stayed home.
Everyone above is so right
Everyone above is so right you are having an emotional affair. It may just seem like a "friend" to you but you can have many types of affairs. How would you feel if you found your DH saying "Do I love her? Not yet" you are not kidding anyone either leave your friend be or cut it off with your DH - but know an affair in any form is not the correct way to start out anything.
I hope you can see the light to what we are all saying.
Your husband is rude. Makes
Your husband is rude. Makes fun of you. Counselling isn't helping. And what an emotional affair is. Your religious beliefs are a mon issue. Not sure why you've mentioned them a couple of times. To get some sort of reaction perhaps, who knows. But you will find people here won't focus in that as much as they will your criticizing someone else's wedding. You didn't have to go. But if you buckled to pressure looking for things to criticize is not right. The emotional affair, well that is dead wrong. If your not happy at home leave don't cheat, and don't start another relationship until you've ended the one your in. Because that's what your doing, starting another relationship while you are still married. That NEVER ends well.
Shit I ended my marriage over
Shit I ended my marriage over an emotional affair (after physical ones with other women I still tried to reconcile) but nothing her so much as telling my spouse he was putting more energy and effort into his "friendship and emotional affair partner than me why should I live this way, either she goes or I go!" I got "F U you don't pick my friends I'm not having an affair your crazy and delusional and she's going nowhere." I filed the next day, even his current gf doesn't let this woman around him when she's not present, course he just sneaks to hangout with her when the gf isn't home. Would you have these conversations with your "friend" in front of your DH?
Do you confide more to your friend than to your partner about how your day went? Yes
Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details about your marriage with your friend but not with your partner? Yes
Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend? Yes?
Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard your conversation with your friend? Yes?
Would you feel comfortable if your partner saw a videotape of your meetings? Yes
Are you aware of sexual tensions in this friendship? Yes?
Do you and your friend touch differently when you're alone than in front of others? Yes
Are you in love with your friend? Yes?
Scoring Key: You get one point each for yes to questions 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, and one point each for no to 3, 4, 5. If you scored near 0, this is just a friendship. If you scored 3 or more, you may not be "just friends." If you scored 7-8, you are definitely involved in an emotional affair.
So, you made your BIL's
So, you made your BIL's wedding about you and you are having an emotional affair. I think it is time for you to take a look in the mirror, do some major character evaluation and decide if you are a person your DH would want to stay married to.
IMHO of course.
You know, I've been listening
You know, I've been listening to your comments and understanding where you're coming from. I've taken a good look in the mirror many times and there has been a lot more going on with DH than I've said on here.
I'm in the midst of leaving and should've never moved to be with him if his family and him was so messed up. You all are ALL right...my Mom is going to lunch with me today to get me ready to leave. I'm heartbroken and I'm sad that his family cannot see the error of their ways or that I can't fix what has been broken. We have nothing in common, he doesn't understand me and, as my counselor has stated, why did I marry him in the first place?
I'm not mad at any of you at all. I'm confused. I'm upset. I was not having anything going on at the wedding at all. I went because I feel forced to go and do things that I don't want to do and when it comes to what I want to do, everyone sits in the truck and waits for me. My DH yells at me over the slightest of things and I feel that I screwed up again. What I am doing is wrong-yes I know this and it needs to be corrected. However, I have no girl friends I can spend time with because my DH thinks I never spend any time with him. We constantly have to do things with his mother and..I can go on and on but I'm hurting. I've called my counselor and need an appointment right away. My DH needs anger management classes in the worst way and needs to get everything out of his system to make our marriage work. I clean the house, I help do the laundry, I clean everything else....I'm depressed and sad and I have no one to talk to about this. I have no friends here where I live and I'm lonely. Trying to make friends here is hard especially if they are two faced and they have such immense social lives. I have no children so relating is sad.
My Mom is coming over today and she knows everything. She's been through what I'm going through before and I need her guidance on what to do.
I'm sorry to post this. Although this has nothing to do with Skids, his Skid is one of the issues that has/is ruining our marriage. He can't see the forest from the trees but what father/mother can, you know?
You start with this .. "I've
You start with this .. "I've got a new "Friend" that I've been talking to and we've been talking day and night. He makes me laugh, he is funny, he is engaging, he likes what I like and when we talk, the world goes away for a while."
And end up with this .. "I have no girl friends I can spend time with because my DH thinks I never spend any time with him. We constantly have to do things with his mother and..I can go on and on but I'm hurting."
So .. either you don't have time for any friends because DH is too demanding, or you're just spending all your free time chatting up this "new friend". What you're doing is wrong. I guess you accept that now. Doing wrong to someone when you feel wronged by them only perpetuates your problem. I hope you get the help you need.
Me too. I'm spending all of
Me too. I'm spending all of my time with DH and I can't go out with friends because he gets ticked of that I don't think he's important.
This friend that I talk to I don't talk to ALL the time as that I work. I'm trying to crochet blankets for the needy, trying to downsize and all I get is being corrected and his anger. I've asked the counselor if he can take anger management classes.
I'm this close to getting a divorce because I cannot handle what has happened to his family and what has been going on with him. I'm at a crossroads...
You've asked the counsellor
You've asked the counsellor if dh can take anger management classes. The counsellor could take him to anger management classes and superglue him to the chair. Nothing will change. Your husband has to see he has an anger problem, want to do something to change that, and HE has to ask for that help himself. Otherwise it just won't work.
I would like this thread
I would like this thread deleted please. Thank you.