This weekend BIL and his wife called to say "Hey, we just rented a new home and we want to show it to you all!!"

I had absolutely no expression of happiness on my face in regards to this. All I could think about right now is that my DH and I filed Chapter 13 and go to court in November. I'm sorry but I just can't be happy about that right now and it's bringing me to tears. This BIL is the same A-HOLE that tells everyone at Christmas how he's so broke and can't buy Christmas presents at Christmas for anyone but buys himself a new rifle in January. Christmas isn't about gifts, it's about getting together but to be honest with you, I'd rather spend it with my adopted parents, who told me this weekend that they're always "second" on the list when it comes to their children. He said that last year and I said, "You know, we don't want to hear it anymore. We're here as family which is more important. Shut up about gift giving." My DH was shocked at my mouth as this was SS's last Christmas before he went to prison.

This totally broke my heart to hear that my adopted family's children don't think too much of them for Christmas. I cried on the way home when I heard this because no one should ever be left out at Christmas.

When MIL said that we're going to have a spending budget this year, I stood up and said, "Uh no. We're not doing this by BIL's rules this year. I'm tired of him running the show!" Boy, that went over well (sarcasm intense).

In all honesty, and this is the first time I've ever admitted this to anyone, I want to go over to my adopted family's house and spend Christmas with them. They have taken me in, we've helped one another, they've never judged me nor my religion and frankly, because ss is in prison, the whole season seems to be shot to...well, you know.

When I went to counseling this last time, I completely blew up so if you heard an atomic bomb in the middle of the US, that was me. I ripped my DH a new one because I felt as though everyone ran the house and our lives but us-and that I didn't have all of these problems when I got here. The counselor tried to calm me down but words flew out of my mouth as though Immodium wasn't working. I was cussing him out, I was angry, I was lost, I felt that no one has done one darn thing about any of the issues going on with his family and I said that he and his mother enabled his son's behavior....OMG this went on and on and on. I said I was fed up with his family running every holiday we have and that this year, I'm going ghost hunting by myself and for everyone else, TOUGH!!!

The counselor asked if we were doing an amicable separation and I wanted to say yes but didn't have the nerve. I said I wanted everything fixed where we can both be happy and not let everyone around us influence our happiness like it has been. No, I'm not happy to hear that Begging BIL has rented a new home. Although his wife says hi to me, when I talked to her at the wedding, she was more interested in her grandkids than carrying on any kind of conversation with her new in-laws. I was constantly interrupted by the grandkids talking to her and she didn't care. IMHO, I moved to a different spot at the table where I could carry on a good conversation with someone who wanted to talk to me. I told DH frankly why I would never let him meet my screwed up nasty no good dysfunctional family-I don't want him to be privy to such a disgusting array of human beings. He's been upset that he has not met them but I told him time and time again, "THEY ARE GONE!! Their abuse almost all of my life almost put me in a grave. They don't deserve my attention and they don't deserve me so **** them!! You are too good for them!"

DH was completely stunned. He almost cried when he heard that. He IS too good for my sicko biological family-I will NOT subject him to such arrogance, pretentiousness and abuse. The last conversation I had with dear ol' Dad was that I wished that we "had family reunions, had get togethers at Christmas and got together when there were celebrations." His answer? "Well, every family is different."

That was the end of that. I cut them off completely and I figured that I can find my own family somewhere else that will love me and be great parents to me. When they heard this, they were "heartbroken" and "hurt". When they found out I was Wiccan, their heads twisted around like the little girl in The Exorcist. My sinister in law said, "I knew she was Satanic. Witchcraft is of the Devil and that's disgusting. I don't want my daughter anywhere near that."

My biological family are a disgusting bunch. My DH deserves a better set of INLAWS than that...

Thank you for listening....