To begin with, our Christmas was perfect – starting from midnight mass, cuddling in bed, breakfast, then DH and I opening gifts. On Christmas morning I called my three kids (2 are in the military so they didn’t come home) then I insisted to DH to call all of his 6 kids (notice I didn’t mention golden eggs – it is Christmas!) I nearly fell over when he said “no I’m not calling them, I will wait until they call me!”

“We” did receive one present from the Queen – an awesome gift that “we” can both use. I was shocked but I kept my mouth shut. Again, I nearly fell over when DH said “it’s about time my kids are learning to send “us” gifts!” What could I do – I was the good wife and insisted that DH call her, thank her for the gift, and then we even sang happy belated birthday to her on the phone (DH forgot her birthday since I didn’t post it on the calendar – the rewards of disengaging!)

All in all, my Christmas was perfect simply because this year I had to learn to disengage. Unfortunately, I also had to use the same techniques with one of my sons (sometimes I have to wonder if he’s my son or one of DH’s sons – it’s that bad!). My son that is in the military actually disowned me this year because I could not (health AND financial reasons) go and visit him in another state. I did send many gifts to my grandson and even sent a gift to him and his wife; no return call or email – nothing other than a thank you text before midnight. I refuse to feel guilty because I did not travel – trust me, I have learned all about great manipulations, signs, and techniques from DHs kids.

Starting from yesterday through January 7th, DHs kids will be here in town. I plan on being here some of the time (I am making a stance – this is my house!) but my DH knows my limits with them as well as my work schedule. This past week I realized after all these years of putting up with the bullshit from my own son and all of DHs kids, I no longer wonder what my worth is – I realize that I am important, I am special, and I deserve to be loved and happy just like everyone else. Unfortunately, we don’t pick our family!

Yesterday, SS35, his wife, and 2 kids came for a visit. I planned on going to work but DH asked me to stay. “They’re only going to be here for an hour” he said. My anger from this visit came in five (5) stages. (1) They were supposed to be here at 9 am but didn’t get here until 10:30 am. I could have gotten 3 hours of work in! (2) Instead of walking on the driveway to the house, they walked all on the grass instead and tracked in mounds of dogshit everywhere into our mudroom. Seriously – you have to walk in dogshit??? Did they clean it up? NO! They got upset when I told them to take off their shoes – too bad!

DH gave the GKs their presents and they played. They didn’t give DH a gift, which I found really strange. Then (3) DH fed them OUR dinner for lunch. Keep in mind – the smell of the dogshit aroma is going through the house, and nobody has cleaned it up yet!!! (4) Before they left at 3:00 pm (an hour really DH?!) SS35 reminded DH about everyone coming over to our house next weekend (I am guessing this is the “party”!) When they left, it took DH an hour to clean and bleach our mudroom and wash out the throw rugs.

Finally the topper, (5) my dinner was a bowl of fuckin’ cereal!

I saw DH trying to please his son and his family in every way and he succeeded, and what hurt the most was there was no thought of me at all nor was there a discussion regarding a “party” but apparently, all the DH kids know to be here next Saturday.

And right now I’m thinking that I’m just pissed about dog shit and being excluded from the party planning in my house but my blood pressure is boiling when I find out every one is bringing their damn dogs next week!!!

My DH is a fuckin’ moron! I haven’t said one word of my anger to DH, but he knows that I am mad, and he’s stupid enough not to ask why!

Thanks for letting me vent!