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Why do BMs think you're jealous? Do they really think it?!

saffron1's picture

One if lunatic BMs tactics for a while ha been to blame everything on me.. I'm the reason she's so stressed, I'm the reason her and my SO don't get one (it obviously couldn't be because she cheated on him twice, bled him try and has treated him like dirt since the day he left her) and that it's some how MY fault that her youngest is misbehaving lol. What riles me more than anything though, she's convinced, or at least she acts as though she's convinced that I'm jealous of her. I can hand on heart say I'm not. To me, jealously is when you wish you had something that someone else has... She has a bog-standard job with no future prospects (whereas I have and am working towards an ambitious career alongside having a BA etc), she has a tiny home in a not-so-desirable area (I have a nice home in a nicer area), she has a reputation of being a wh*re (I suppose that's what having multiple kids by multiple men - and cheating on those men, does) (whereas I don't have any kind of reputation like that) and most importantly her kids and I have a fantastic relationship.. Im not ready for kids yet and want to be married to SO before I have them.. She is preggers again (new man!) my relationship with her kids is better than I could have ever expected but for now
I'm perfectly content to be limited to SKs. In the future I'd love kids but the time genuinely isn't right at the moment, but she's convinced that I'm jealous of her latest pregnancy. Finally, SO and I have got our amazing relationship back (something she never gave SO) - oh yeah and I'm a hell of a lot younger than her!!!
Regardless she is telling everyone and his dog that I'm jealous! Has anyone found this to be a trait of Crazy BMhood or do you reckon she genuinely believes it?! Sorry to rant!

Disneyfan's picture

I'm sure she believes it. In some cases it's true. Some SMs here have admitted that they are jjealous of BM.

MrsMurdock's picture

I'm jealous of BM I can honestly say that because she has a kid with my husband .... I'm jealous of that.

farting_glitter's picture

exactly Disney....and then there are some that will not admit they are jealous but you can tell they are!.. Wink

lil_lady's picture

I second what tog said... projection. BM recently posted a postcard on social media. "People only hate you for what they dont have"... no BM you are hated because your a useless mother who wont let SO see his kids but are ok with living off of this families income not your own! On the other hand she clearly has hate for myself. Whome has a career, great relationship with skids, actually has a real relationship with SO and did manage to finish my schooling and establish a career before I decided to get pregnant and start a family.... hmmm I wonder who it is that is jealous here?!

farting_glitter's picture

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

mannin's picture

Most BMs crack me up. Women whose kids have SMs will share about how jealous the SMs are. I let them tell "their" story before disclosing I'm a SM and have never been jealous of the BM. Ever.

The one time the BM tried accusing me of it ("You're jealous that I'm SS's REAL mom and you're not"), I shut her down. I told her I wasn't jealous of a white trash hooker who was sleeping around trying to get knocked up on purpose to prove something to her recent exDH. Her exDH divorced her because she kept miscarrying due to their drug use.

farting_glitter's picture

yeah...trust me...there is nothing I would be jealous of BM for either...lol.....NOTHING!....oh except for the fact that she doesn't work and gets to stay home all day and let PB suck off her boob... :sick:

Dizzy's picture

BM thinks I'm jealous. I don't have much to say about it other than this...it's very clear who is jealous of whom when you consider that she was begging DH for another chance for nearly two years (she realize how royally she fucked up after he and I started dating--don't they always?) and I was the one he was sleeping with every night and planning to marry . He never gave her even the tiniest sliver of hope. I'm jealous, BM?! I don't think so.

lil_lady's picture

My BM did the exact same thing... told SO she love him for 2 to 3 months of our relationship. It only took her 2 years to tell him she finally understood he is just the father of her children not her husband/exhusband/someone she loves because he is the father of her children... SMH

Dizzy's picture

She sounds tacky.

The BM in my life accused me of jealousy she said "Because I'm so beautiful"--her words. Mmmmmkay...lol...DH says he knew she wasn't up to his "standard", but he got mesmerized by her accent, and then just kinda settled.

I get what you're saying about the financial aspect. I hate that BM has been living off child support and alimony for nearly 5 years, during which we have had ups and downs and the struggle has been real. But she still complained about how broke she is--GET A JOB!--while spending "her" money on stupid shit for herself and SD, while we pay (and she contributes NOTHING) for activities, sports, etc. She's a serious GU, for sure, but my DH sees right thru her tactics. (Have to share this little gen of a tactic to squeeze money from him "SD is crying because I had to turn the cable off because I couldn't afford it." OH THE HORROR!! NO CABLE!! And no, DH didn't fall for it.)

Rags's picture

My SS's Sperm Idiot is such a worthless POS loser that there is no possible way he would think I was jealous of him. He has 4 out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas. My SS is his eldest and our only.

He is so detestable that even his children think he is a worthless POS. At least the two eldest do (21 & 18). The two youngest(16 & 14) think their Sperm Idiot is the cool gang banger guy and are doing their damndest to make him proud. They have a chance at successful gang membership where the Sperm Idiot just gets laughed at.

Sperm Idiot is an Opie Cunningham looking howdy doody white guy who has been pummeled on a few occasions by both the local Crip and Blood organizations. He lies and claims that his mother, Sperm Grandma, is black. She is an aunt Bee looking old assed white woman. The two youngest are biracial so their gang prospects are much better than those of their idiot POS father.

My wife and I offered to adopt all 3 of the youngest Sperm Idiot spawn but the Sperm Clan was offended by that offer. I found that interesting since they whined and cried that having to pay $110/mo in CS was causing them to not be able to feed the youngest 3.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

The only thing I have to be jealous of is that BM will always be worshipped and revered by the ILs because she pushed DH's kid out of her yeasty twat and I will never have a child with DH. Even though they supposedly hate her. I will always be second place, second best, and basically nothing to them even though I make their son happier than he ever could have imagined and did more for their grandchildren in two years than their own mother ever will.

Dizzy's picture

Same with my IL's. It's like they didn't see ANYTHING I did for SD when I lived under the same roof as them for nearly two years. In fact, my FiL lied about me to BM. Needless to say, we have no relationship and I'm fine with that.

Cadence's picture

Yes, BM believes that I am "insecure", "jealous" and am controlling my SO because he wants very little to do with her. Yeah, of course, BM. A man not wanting to be around someone spewing such contemptuous abuse every time he dares to not do what you order is totally being controlled by someone else. Having a third party forcibly keeping him away from your Benjamin Button senior-citizen *ss is surely what's behind that! Biggrin

Our BM is a Hector Projector of the highest order. You can always tell how she's feeling when she accuses us of something, because whatever quality it is, it's what she's doing.

ocs's picture

This just happened last week!

DH had to go to court to sign some papers, and BM knew it. That morning, BM got dressed up like a hooker on payday, had coffee with a friend, told this friend all about how she was going to show up at court looking "fine"... :sick: and see DH... (by accident, you see, as far as DH would be concerned) This was all apparently in some laughable attempt to lure DH away and to make me more jealous of her.

BM knew DH would be in court bc one of the CS papers had his appt written on it.

Well- the ditchpig talks too loud and happened to be in a Starbucks that my friend OWNS/operates. She texted me everything and we laughed like crazy. I never said anything to DH and he told me right away that BM had been there, 'wearing cheap perfume'. I then told him my friend saw and overheard her at Starbucks. (SD has a very unusual name, so it stuck out to my friend)

What I wonder is, what am I jealous of?

her IQ is the same as a brick
no job
can't get a job BC of previous theft conviction
3 kids, no man (only one is DH's)
government housing
no car
no license (prob can't read, LOL)
looks like she stepped out of a Honey Boo Boo show.

Newstep's picture

Yep I'm jealous of her lol. She says that to every person who will listen. All because SO wants nothing to do with her. It can't be because she is a miserable POS }:)