How much for school fundraisers, book fairs and extras
Just wondering what the norm is......
Skids have a lot of school fundraisers and other extras. The most recent was book fair. I was wondering how much money families will send with their kids for things like this? What is the norm? Also we have something called Secret Santa at Christmas where kids can pick out gifts for their families. Mostly it's just junk you can get at the dollar store - probably worse quality. How much money would your family give to a kid for something like that?
BM and FDH are not in agreement on the purpose of these types of things. BM's philosophy is basically, if the kids pick out 10 books for the book fair, she and FDH should split the cost of the 10 books evenly. Books are upwards of $10 a piece. BM thinks kids should buy for everyone in the extended family for christmas workshop, FDH thinks we can buy nice gifts for families or make them, but wants to give him money to participate.
We can afford to contribute to everything that Skids want, but feel Skids need to learn the value of money and that you don't just spend it because you have it. So what is a reasonable amount? We feel $20 - $30 a child is plenty for these occasions - Total, split between the parents. What do you think?
Our skids each pick out one
Our skids each pick out one book at the book fair that DH will purchase. If BM wants to buy more, she's free to do that.
This is all with the assumption we get appropriate notice about the events and that we can afford it at the time.
BM has been known to promise skids things (certain number of items sold, $$ value contributions, etc.) and THEN let DH know he has to come up with half. Needless to say, he doesn't.
ETA: As a general rule, we don't buy books outside of fundraisers. I agree with your point that you shouldn't spend money just because you have it. We believe and LIVE this way. Library is great for books and have a bigger selection than my skids would ever get through ..
I agree with all of your
I agree with all of your edit. We have the money to spend and that is always what BM throws at us. But we don't want Skids growing up thinking they are entitled to everything just because it's there. I shudder at that thought of kids who are raised like that.
We feel Skids should be able
We feel Skids should be able to participate in these events as we do not want them to be the only one in the class not participating and we feel we should contribute to them. The money doesn't go to BM or sent to BM, it goes in an envelope to the school for the kid. I just want see what other people do for amounts they send their kids to school with to be sure we are being fair and reasonable.
How old are your
How old are your skids?
$20-30 per kid seems like a lot of money if you're participating in every single event.
If they're elementary school age, $10 would be my MAX and they would not get every event. Sometimes life lessons are about learning that you don't get to do or have everything thing you want just because others are.
I tend to agree on that big
I tend to agree on that big time. That to me is the total amount that parents should split. So FDH would be $10 - $15 per kid. That's about what we contribute to everything. And it's always, well you're rich, think of the kids, ad nauseum.
ETA: They are elementary school.
And book fair is twice a year. Christmas workshop is once.
Other fundraisers that are not activities held at the school (selling candy, etc) we pick and choose
Skids come to our house all
Skids come to our house all the time asking DH to buy them things or take them places. They always say things like we're rich and have more money than mommy .. which is just odd for a 6 and 7 year old to say (clearly hearing that from BM or her family).
I'm thankful DH doesn't cave to this stuff, but it imagine it will get a lot worse as skids get older.
Same thing here......although
Same thing here......although I know where it comes from.
It's hard to combat that mentality when you're trying to teach about the value of money (so they hopefully will be able to have some someday) against someone who thinks they should have whatever they want whenever they want.
$70 was sent for the book
$70 was sent for the book fair (One kid) with the instructions, buy these books and spend the rest however Skid wants. (Our portion was $10).
$75 was sent for Christmas (One kid) with the instructions, buy for these people, and spend the rest however Skid wants (our portion was $15)
Personally, I think 20-30 is
Personally, I think 20-30 is a lot. I would probably say something like a book fair, one book per child. Something like secret santa, they can use their own money or just wait to make gifts/go shopping with us. The kid's school also does candy graham things here and there and they use their own money or can do extra chores that week to earn money.
Love your signature!!
Love your signature!!
Wish more parents today
I dont ask my BS's dad for
I dont ask my BS's dad for help on anything with BS. He cant even pay his court ordered CS amount so I know I'm not going to get anything "extra" from him.
I let BS do the book fair every other time that there is one. He has to earn the money for the books he wants or use his allowance. Occasionally I will treat him. He usually spends about $20.
IMO I think it's okay to let the kid know, just because there is a book fair, etc he doesn't need to do it. I tell my son, you can't always do everything. You can't always have everything that you want. You don't need to partcipate in every activity. He has taken it well. I feel that I have taught him that he doesn't get everything that he wants. He has adjusted just fine to that idea.
DH pays out 50%+ more in CS
DH pays out 50%+ more in CS than what he brings home. There are no extras. Sorry. If he wants to do extras he has to make some extra money.
However, skids are here only during summer so there are less requests for extras...
Yep! And we get to struggle
Yep! And we get to struggle to take care of all the kids! Yay me
We don't really support
We don't really support fundraiser in a monetary fashion. If there is something DH or I can contribute such as baking for a bake sale we will do that before we buy.
I like the way SS's school does the book fair. They will send the flyer home with info to order online. The kids can also either pick out with their class, or it is open for a few dYs after school leading up to parent-teacher conferences. The fair is also open during the conference days. Since when DH is home he has no real work to do during this time he will park and meet SS at the entrance of the school and he will go let SS tell him up to 3-4 books and he buys them - they come to our house anything to do with BM is not our issue. If DH is not home during the book fair then oh well.