i hate it that he loves them

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Horrible i know. All i see it as there two kids he didn't want or plan (traps by bm) they come once a week and they go home. Dp does no real parenting but he lives in his own little world and thinks watching telly with them and playing with one night of the week he's dad of the year. He actually thinks he brings them up not their mam and step dad. He gets a little chufty on if they come to him. Of course they are going to come to him and enjoy seeing him its a break from their mother! I hate it that he loves these two kids that he doesn't even raise or be a proper dad to. And that any kids we will have and who will live with us and who we will raise.. Will be equal to these two kids that we practically child mind one night a week! There i said it!

So, you would rather he not

So, you would rather he not love his own children?

I can understand not planning

I can understand not planning the first one, but how do you get "tricked" twice?

he stayed the first time

he stayed the first time round for the sake of dd, he made sue=re she was taking her birth control pill by telling her to leave it out on the beside table so he could see she was taking it everyday. surprisingly having dd didnt make things better and bm knew this and knew he would eventually leave, so she started taking her pills out of the packet and putting them in the bin without dp knowing (shes admitted to this)hence her falling pregnant again, safe to say dp was not at all pleased and after her confession, left her when she was pregnant with dss.

I find it difficult to

I find it difficult to believe he fell victim to the "trap" twice.

If it came down to him having to eagle-eye her birth control & wasn't opting to use condoms to protect himself, he wasn't trapped. He was just stupid & irresponsible.

my dp is a good father when

my dp is a good father when he sees his children but he is limited what he can do in the time he has them. and of course i expect him to love his children and of course would want him to but its hard to see them as his children as he has had them one night a week from toddler and a baby and has no hand in bringing them up. they dont live with us and see them only one night a week. it almost feels were babysitting a niece and nephew and then they go home to their mother and full time father figure and find it hard to accept hell love these two as much as hell love our children, children who will be seeing everyday and raising, who only have us two as parent and are dependant on us.

I agree with what anyname

I agree with what anyname said. He'll be the same father to any kids you have with him.

Why do you hate that he loves his children? I can't imagine having an inkling of respect for a father who didn't love his children. They are his children just as much as any child(ren) he'll ever have with you.

Honestly, if you can't accept that fact, having children with him (or any man who already has children) is going to be miserable for you.

i know they are his children

i know they are his children but obviously because they live with their mum who does the majority of the parenting and the daily hard work of being a parent to its really hard to see them as his proper children. like i think a father puts the kids to bed every night, read to them every night, takes them to the doctors when there sick and does the hard work boring stuff as well as the novelty good times. but as they do not live with us and my dp doesnt do any of that, its hard to see him as a real father.

i agree. If my dp lived with

i agree. If my dp lived with his children no doubt he would do all of it, but as he doesnt he doesnt do any of it but yet he thinks that he is. Ive said their step dad who has lived with him from very young is there father figure and then they come to us one night a week. were more like extras like grandparents and uncle and aunties in our role. but dp is oblivious and thinks he is a real father when he plays with one night a week.