Quick poll question: Is this PAS?
BM called and left 3 voicemails when we weren't home (4 calls within 7 minutes this time)
This was her first voicemail:
"Hi kids. It's mom, I love you (pause) I guess you're not able to answer the phone again tonight, I'll keep calling.(Click)"
Four minutes later 2nd voicemail:
"Hi kids. It's Mommy. I love you and I miss you. (Click)"
Two minutes later 3rd voicemail:
"It's (BM) again! I would really like to speak to my children!(Click)"
We walked through the door to hear the 4th call one minute later. My husband answered and the kids took the phone.
We already know BM is trying to make it look like my husband and I are keeping the children from her, which is definitely not true. But her recording it in this way seems more damaging to her than to us. I'm just wondering if you all think this specifically is PAS, or something else.
I wouldn't call it PAS. I'd
I wouldn't call it PAS. I'd call it pitiful sad woman. Is PSW a thing?
Well, it's annoying and it
Well, it's annoying and it proves she's an idiot but I don't see how it qualifies as parental alienation.
I probably wouldn't necessarily let the kids hear the messages, just let them know that she called. In this case, they actually talked to her since you guys came home during the last one.
The kids obviously know they weren't there to receive the calls so I'm not sure what she's trying to prove. No one was trying to keep the kids from talking to her since they weren't even home.
I should add, these
I should add, these voicemails came right after this message on OFW:
"You nor (AMIWICKED) has the right to keep me from speaking to our children or has the right to dictate when I speak to them. I will gladly solve this issue by going back to court and suing you for full custody of our children as well as child support if the lack of JOINT PARENTING cooperation continues. Our kids deserve only the best. You do not allow the kids to answer the phone after all. You have denied getting my phone calls multiple times now and I have record of all of that. You are denying me the right to a speak to our children and they the right to speak to me; their mother."
The voicemail was definately implying that my husband and I were physically stopping the kids from answering their mother's phone call.
And the kids always check the messages, they hear every word she says.
As tedious as it is, I would
As tedious as it is, I would write down the when and where anytime you are out and about just to counter her claims that the kids are not being allowed to answer her calls.
I wouldn't let the kids check the messages. She is going to make them feel responsible for her emotional well being (as GoAwayPlz explained) and that's not right. Let them know she called or if the messages are "normal", let them listen but that's it. You have every right to try and protect them from her crazy. No way in hell I'd let them listen to her every word.
Let her play the game and
Let her play the game and counter it. I know my ex would insist on calls with his kids for the game playing reason, it got to the point where the eldest said "dad, please stop calling all the time, I am doing stuff. I will call you, it is only a few days". You can say "hey, even parents who are still together are not with their kids all the time, they work, kids go to school, babysitters are hired". Let them know adults should be just fine with not having the kid around!
I would call it harassment
I would call it harassment and send the following response...
You telephoned at 7:00, 7:04, 7:06 & 7:07. This is harassment by any standard and will not be tolerated. If you continue to call back to back I will file charges and block your number. You have a right to speak to your children; you do not have the right to disrupt our household or dictate our schedule. If we are unable to answer your call, the children will return call your as soon as they are able.
Why don't the kids just tell
Why don't the kids just tell her "mom we just got home from (wherever)"
If y'all honestly aren't home everytime she calls then that response will eventually get old to her. I would tell her that she's waisting her time by calling before bedtime because y'all aren't usually home all day everyday. Giving her a set time to talk to them will put both her and the kids in a routine. And just because she calls early doesn't mean you have to answer. Just tell them "you can call her back before bed" or "BM saw you called 6 times earlier, like I've told you already they will call you before bed". If you make them call before bed every night then she should stop harassing y'all or just make herself look crazy to a judge.