Hell NO my skids don't have keys.

We have a keyless door lock now:

http://www.lowes.com/Hardware/Door-Hardware/Door-Knobs-Handlesets/_/N-1z...

Best house accessory I added when skids moved in.

ETA: My skids are full time and there is no BM I'm worried about having my code. So this works for us, but understandably may not work for everyone.

No, but my SD was only over EOWE and was never there when we weren't. I would not have ever let her have a key.

Those boys are quite irresponsible for their ages.

BM has no business dropping them off if their dad is not going to be there and you have told him you don't want them there. Maybe you should not go home at all and spend the night at a friends?

Good idea hereiam.
If they are prone to losing keys and climb in through windows, they are creating the risk of your house being broken into twice over -- first by the key being taken/located by someone who knows them and their movements, secondly by someone passing by and seeing their method of getting in then copying later.
Your DH should be teaching them about security issues. This is highly irresponsible behavior even apart from the territory issues.
This being your property, it is your territory and in your shoes I would never allow them a key in any event. At the moment they are a relatively harmless age but as they grow older you could have all sorts of unpleasant behavior like bringing girls home, coming in drunk... at all hours... and by "crawling through my window" you don't happen to mean your personal bedroom do you? Hell no to that. The're hormonally men fgs. They should not think it is ok to crawl into a woman's bedroom window under any circumstances.
They aren't behaving like proper family so I would relegate them to position of guests myself and remove control from them, and very importantly, from the BM.

My skids have a code to the garage because they come to our house after school and DH and I are both at work. I asked my DH when we moved in to tell the skids not to give the code to ANYONE including their BM and their half brothers. I think he worded it "nobody outside our family" instead of spelling it out. If we leave for vacation I change the garage code because I don't want to take a chance that she will come right in. They can't loose garage codes and they can be changed at will...so better than a key in my opinion. They are pretty inexpensive.

SD15 is terrible with her keys. Worse thing is, she loses them and doesn't tell us. I told DH, "So, great, there is a key to our house somewhere over at BM's, and SD15 wasn't going to tell us that she left the key to our house there? Why do I NOT like the idea of this?"

I also agree that BM should not be bringing the kids over to your house if DH is out of town! That is supposed to be time for the kids to visit with dad...not with you! When SD15 used to live with BM, I would tell DH flat out that I was not a babysitter! If he had to work or be out of town, he better make sure to tell BM that there would be no visit that weekend! I was not going to get stuck at home or forced dragging SD15 around! Unfortunately, the princess now lives with us, so I get stuck with her! I don't trust her home by herself with her past trouble, and things ending up broken in the house in the past year (like the coffee table that she tried to blame on my cats, when it was obvious she was twirling her guard rifle in the house which she has been forbidden to do).

Yes, my Skid has a key to our house, to my parent's house, and to my brother's house. He is actually very responsible regarding keys and when he is visiting he is diligent about cleaning up after himself, at least when he is staying at my parent's or brother's homes. When he visits his mom’s and my house, he is not so diligent about cleaning up after himself.

A key to our house was a tool we used as a consequence once SS graduated from HS. We told him to apply and get in to college and we would pay for it. Nope, not interested. We told him to get a job. Nope, not interested. So we made him our beck and call boy. Chores, chores, and more chores. Cleaning, scrubbing (toilets, sinks, floors, etc, etc, etc...), brushing the cobwebs off of the outside of the house, cleaning windows, wiping off and touching up our black wrought iron fence, weeding, mulching, touch up painting around the house, scrubbing base boards, washing, vacuuming and detailing cars, cooking, etc, etc, etc.... When he tested us by not getting his list done by the time his mom and I arrived home at the end of the day, the next morning he was left on the back patio in his PJs with no key and no food.

If he chose not to work during work time then he had a hot & sweaty or chilly uncomfortable and hungry day the next day until we got home. He was an adult and we held him accountable for his decisions. He called me from the neighborhood rec center one day complaining that he was hot and thirsty in the back yard and could I bring him some water at lunchtime. I told him that the green thing coiled on the spool on the wall in our backyard had all of the water he could ever want or need, his issues were not my or his mom's problem any longer since he was now an "adult" and not to call us at work unless he was bleeding or dangerously ill.

"You want me to drink out of the hose!!???". Yep kid, welcome to the world I grew up in. Drinking out of the garden hose, playing outside all day, every day when it was warm, chores, accountability, etc... It is funny how what was normal for children back in the day was a shocking hardship for an 18yo today, or more accurately 3-4 years ago.

After about 6-8mos of being miserable as our beck and call boy and spending a few hot and a couple of chilly days on the back porch in his flop-togs, wrapped up in a blanket and drinking out of the garden hose he joined the USAF. He learned that if he was going to have to be anyone’s beck and call boy he would rather get paid for it with more than food and shelter. }:)

He is doing great, has completed half of his first 6 year enlistment, is working on his BSCS degree and is a young man of character. He still grumbles about being left on the back patio in his sleepwear. Ha!

If your Skids lose their keys, they can wait until you or their dad gets home. Hot, cold, it doesn't matter. Just make sure they have access to the garden hose.

IMHO of course.

DH has asked me 3 times in 2 weeks I'm ok with giving SD11 a key. I wanted to laugh at his moronic idea! This is the kid who has already lost everything from books, electronic games, pens, pencils, toothbrush (Yeah, I know!), and an expensive sweater. So every time DH asks, I just laugh and say "Hell no!" Of course, SD found a way to pick our front door lock with her friends. Now I have to double bolt the door every time I leave the house because yes, now I'm paranoid.

Even if you give them keys...doesn't mean they will ever have them on them when they actually need them!!! SD15 was banging on the door when she got home after school today...2nd time this week! Where was her key? On her dresser? Why? Who knows!

I swear if the girl ever lives on her own, she is going to lock herself out of her place all the time! She gets told WEEKLY (because this crap happens that often) check that you have your key(s) before you walk out of the house! Of course, it may never matter with her, because she never locks the front door either! She will just come home to an empty apartment...literally!

Funnily enough we had this conversation at the weekend. SO asked if he could give SS17 and SD15 a key to MY house. We have them EOW and a night in the week. I reluctantly agreed but said they were only to be used when they were staying with us, NEVER when it wasn't their time with us and that they still had to knock if we were in. I then discovered that SS17 doesn't have a key to BM's because he kept losing them! Well I said to SO if he loses the key to my house then that's it, no more keys. Fair enoughski.

My sd15 will never have a key to my house. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. One time I caught her standing at my bedroom door looking in. I startled her when I asked what she was doing. She stammered some lame, 'I was looking for something'. I told her anything she needs in the house would not be in her dad's and my bedroom. I hide some of my jewelry when she visits. Just a hunch I have about her, nothing I can ever talk to DH about unless I catch her red handed.

NO WAY. I said no to SS17 having keys to the house. Firstly I don't want them lost and then have to worry about who's got them. Secondly, I don't want him coming home whenever he wants to. If I am at home with the doors closed I don't want to have to worry about someone just walking in. When he has his own place he can have the key to that and make his own decisions.