I'm sure she is doing it on purpose! But you know, it is one thing to just not take out the trash. That isn't going to bring on a big expense. Completely ignoring me with regards with what goes down the drains will cause a big expense!! We've already had to call out a plumber once since she has lived with us, and we are having drain problems already again! Over 10 years in this house, no problems...SD15 moves in, we start to have plumbing problems!!! I know for a fact she is putting lady products down the toilet when she is told not to (neither kind of lady product can go down the toilet, because we have a septic), because when the plumber came out last, he pulled out a big wad from the pipes...and I know I don't put my stuff down the toilet! SD15 forces food down the drains when she has been told multiple times to put food in the trash and take the trash out. I'm sure a good part of it is just plain laziness, as well! I mean, if she puts her lady products in the trash can, that is more often that she will have to empty her bathroom trash! Same with the food...means she will have to make a trip to the trash (even if trash isn't full, because then the rule is put it in a plastic shopping baggie and take it out so that it doesn't smell up the house). She never finishes her food, so that would mean daily she would have to walk out to the trash! But does she care that it costs no less than $300 to get the drain snaked? Oh hell no she doesn't! Like I said...over 10 years in this house with not a single plumbing issue. She's here 1 year, and we seem to be having regular plumbing issues! Definitely NOT a coincidence!

Ooooo...I like that idea. An hand her a roll of TP and tell her if she needs to use the restroom, there are plenty of trees and bushes back there...just make sure to avoid the poison oak! Our "back yard" is an acre...make her go as far back there as possible...LOL! And we don't have soft ground...very rocky....bwahahahaha!

Except, this isn't my first rodeo...just the first one who has no respect for anyone or anything! Yeah...my bios had to be told things more than once, but it wasn't constant. And if it was something like don't put X down the drain because it would hurt the house, they actually listened. And if I told them, I didn't get eye rolls...an "I forgot" maybe...but not the disrespect of eye rolls!

It wasn't groceries. He had bags of prepared food and drinks....he asked if he could stop and get food, and I asked for salad. The drinks weren't in a carrier either...the place didn't give him one!

Seriously...why defend SD15? Why couldn't she simply open the door for him! We live out in the country...mot like anyone ever comes to our door uninvited! She knows this! Just plain rude of her to not help her dad! Can't tell you how many times DH opens doors for SD15 and/or holds doors open when her hands are full, and she can't open a door for him?!

DH and I don't drink milk. I'm actually allergic to milk. BS19 hasn't had any milk this week yet...are with friends after school, so didn't have his after school cereal. But why does an adult have to check the milk? She is 15...not 5!

As soon as BS19 leaves for college, I'll start buying the half. Since we only go to the store one a week, the half just isn't enough. But it seems to be cycles....if I get the half, SD15 suddenly decides she wants to drink milk every day, and BS19 will come home from work and want a bowl of cereal to find no milk. I buy a gallon, SD15 suddenly goes into one of her super low calorie/starvation modes and there is too much milk. When BS19 goes to college, I'm only getting the half.

But that doesn't totally solve the problem, because the problem is she doesn't care and doesn't follow rules or instructions! If it isn't milk, she's forcing a half eaten bowl of ramen down the sink or something, it is some other trash she leaves on the counter by the trash can, she still leaves her crap all over the TV room, and she still treats us like we are here only to serve her! She won't even talk to DH unless she wants something! He will try to ask her about her day or something, and it's like "just leave me alone"! She doesn't want any kind of relationship with him, she just wants him to be her taxi and ATM! I could care less about her not wanting a relationship with me, but I want to smack her when I see how she treats DH...and him when I see h let her getting away with it!

It totally amazes me what we consider as "normal teenager behavior" these days! I mean, as a teen:

1. There was NO laying around on the couch in front of the TV...you weren't even allowed to use your parents' TV without permission!

2. There was NO leaving your stuff laying around the house.

3. There was NO attitude like you were running stuff! The parents ran stuff, and that was made clear (even if it meant you got slapped for trying to run stuff).

There were stiff consequences back in the day for not doing what you were supposed to do! Truth is, it is parenting that has gotten lazy...kids have been too enabled!

Was talking to one of the other mom's the other day. Her son had been arrested for pot possession just this past Saturday night. She didn't rush to get him...wanted him to learn a bit of a lesson. When she finally did go get him, his response was, "What the hell are YOU doing here? I'm a grown ass man, and I can take care of myself!!!" Her response, "Well, if you are such a 'grown ass man', that means you don't need the cell phone WE pay for, the truck WE pay for, or the roof over your head that WE pay for!!" Yup, he is such a "grown ass man" at just a few months past his 18th birthday, that his grown ass now is living with some friend because he got thrown out on his ear with just a bit of his clothing! No cell phone, no truck! Sorry, but THAT is parenting!

Disrespect by my bios was never tolerated! While SD15 has NEVER received a spanking, and rarely has privileges taken away, my bios know these two things well! They weren't perfect kids...no kid is...and if they are, chances are high that they are hiding something!

Late in her teens, BD23 was hanging with the wrong people and getting in trouble! She lost her bedroom door, she lost her phone and computer, and when she thought she was grown enough to get in my face an yell at me, I smacked her! When she was 18 and thought she was "grown" and could do what she wanted (including drinking), she was given ONE chance...I made her sign a contract of what was expected (and no drinking was included in that contract) and what would happen if she didn't follow that contract! BD23 was caught drinking again (went to wake her up one morning, and she was drunker than drunk), and I had to do the hardest thing I ever had to do as a parent...tell her to pack up her crap and leave! I bawled for days! My heart wanted to tell her to come back home, but my head reminded me that I had to follow through or she would never get it! Within 6 months, she had gotten it, and came home. She went back on her own and finished up high school (after realizing that she could not get a job without a diploma), got a job, and got out on her own...and our relationship today is great! Had I just sat by and done nothing, who knows where she would be today...who knows where BS19 would be today if he hadn't seen me come down on his sister for being a butt head!

People need to get away from this "child centered" crap and get back to real, tough love parenting! We don't always have to be the most popular with our kids! We are not intended to be their friends! We are supposed to equip them with the skills they need for life!

DH is doing no favors for SD15 by "showing her grace" (as he puts it)! He is teaching her that it is okay to treat him and everyone else like total crap! He isn't equipping her with life skills, and she will be in for a very rude awakening when she gets out in the world...if she ever leaves home!

SD15 was going on and on last night asking about WHEN she was going to get a car and telling us what she wanted for her first car! I'm sitting there thinking, "Are you for frackin' real?" BD23 didn't get a car while she lived at home...doing things that started questioning my trust shortly after she turned 16, and things only got worse...sorry, can't follow simply rules...no car. BS19 didn't get a car until right before he turned 18 because I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to flake out like BD23...wanted to make sure he was trustworthy and mature enough (thank goodness he didn't flake out like his older sister).

SD15 has already been caught drinking, smoking (pot and otherwise), lying on a regular basis, and she can't follow simple house rules (like no trash on the counter, and don't put any kind of solid food-stuffs down the drain), and she thinks she is just going to get a car handed to her at 16? Just because the law says a person can get their license and drive at 16 doesn't mean they should! Wish more parents got this! No, they have their heads up their butt being too concerned about lessening their parental responsibility, and just hand a kid a car who shouldn't have one. I'm so afraid this will be DH! I still have time to work on him in this area, at the very least! I seriously do not feel putting her in a car at 16 is a good idea! I made it a point to share the other mom's situation with DH, not only as an example of what you have to do sometimes (which he knows), but so he knows that pot is still readily available out here in the country! If he think SD15 isn't still stoking it up at times, he has his head in the sand! There were several boys involved in that arrest Saturday...another mom I know, her daughter was dating one of the other boys, and let me tell you, when I say WAS I mean WAS, as mom and dad put a stop to that after the arrest! Again...parenting!

Then there is also the history of SD15 not working for anything. I regularly make sure that SD15 hasn't even come close to working off that $200 in makeup that was bought for her toward the end of last year....and it has been months! I know if she has a car, her primary concern will be hanging with friends...not getting a job! Who do you think she will come running to for insurance and gas? DH doesn't have anything left in his half of the money to put gas in a car for her, and I certainly refuse to let my money be used!