SD clings to me constantly! Is this normal?
I met SD7 when she was one. She is contstanly looking for attention, mostly from me. She never wants to just play with Dad and when he tries she tells him she wants to play by herself. We were at a friend's party the other day where kids were also there and she wanted to stay and sit by me and other adults pretty much the whole night. She is not shy btw. And kept whining at me "I just want you to play with meeeee" Finally dad had enough and said "You're not an adult, go play with those kids" Yay DH! If I would have said it DH would be offended lol. There was a little girl who asked her "hey do you want to play tic tac toe with me?" And she declined. Then 30 seconds later "SM will you play tic tac toe with me?" Ugh WTF! I told her she should go play with the little girl.
I usually set aside time, probably 30 min to an hour or so a day we draw, play barbies or help me in the kitchen. So I don't just ignore her all the time. And all three of us play board games together a few times a week.
It just seems like she has to be around me all the time. On the way out this morning her dad took her to a summer program "SM can you hold my hand and walk me to the car?" Or if we are at a restaurant she wants to basically sit on me and hug and climb all over me.
Why is she like this with only me? Is it because her BM doesn't pay attention to her on her weeks maybe? I don't want to be mean to her about it, but it's super annoying!
I have three kids , and this
I have three kids , and this issue is parenting 101. Every time she hangs on you, tell her, "get down SD , I don't want you hanging on me". Don't play Barbies with her anymore- she's old enough to play by herself. She IS insecure, she IS probably confused about rolls/ people in her life, that's all the more reason you have to be firm and consistent. My 14yo DD loves to go on my walk with me at night and talk my ear off about her social life o-O , lol, that's ok though because it's an appropriate time and place for her to talk and get my undivided attention. If I was in a social setting or talking with her dad, not so much. Lovingly create boundaries for her; you'll both be happier. Also tell her she has once, and only once, to ask you a question. Any more and she will be in her room, and said activity will NOT happen. Worked with my kids. Remember, the root of the word "discipline" is "to teach".
Good luck, you'll get over this little hump! Three words to remember: LOVING, CONSISTENT, and FIRM.
Yup, it's normal. Actually,
Yup, it's normal. Actually, it's immensely flattering to you - kids tend to cling to their "safe" person, the one they feel safest with.
I totally agree with Echo and ctnmom - let her know what's appropriate behavior ("SD, I love sitting with you, but you may not climb on my lap in a restaurant.") and create some good boundaries.
They do grow out of it eventually!
Edited to add: Oh, and it could easily have nothing to do with BM or what BM does on her weeks. If she's preferring you to DH, it probably has more to do with her relationship with her dad than her mom. Kids do tend to "favor" different parents at different times in their development though, so most likely it's just a phase!
"Why is she like this with
"Why is she like this with only me? Is it because her BM doesn't pay attention to her on her weeks maybe? I don't want to be mean to her about it, but it's super annoying!"
SD5 is like this with me. Always wanting to hold my hand, talk, play, get me to look at her, asking if she can help, etc. She talks to SO when she needs something. lol And yes, I think it's because her mom sucks. She acts like that with MIL, too.
I say "No" to her a lot. Seriously, kids need to hear that word. When she's being a little attention-seeking, I do redirect, tell her to go play, tell her that I want to hold SO's hand instead of hers...and I NEVER play Barbies or anything like that. I might do educational stuff with her or let her help me cook, but we don't "play" together. They don't need a playmate who meets them at their level, they need a female role model who they can look up to...they need someone to show them how to be a lady. This is especially necessary if their mom is an immature waste of space.
My SD8 is the same, but only
My SD8 is the same, but only when other children are around. When I visit my nieces or SD has her friends over and I interact with them, she constantly clings to me and demands attention. It can be very irritating - but I suppose our SD's could absolutely hate us, which is a lot worse!
I spoke to my partner regarding SD's behaviour and luckily he had a chat with her and reminded her that I am allowed to show affection to other children. My only worry is when I have my own child, how would she react to that? She is very loving and caring, and does enjoy to be around children, but always must be at the center of attention and always has to sit next to me or touch me.