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OF COURSE..HE WENT THERE!

the wicked witch's picture

My SS15 is at his BM's place for 6 weeks every summer. I married his dad when he was 3 years old. The BM is a piece of work. Mostly, SS15 goes to his mom's every other weekend. When he does, i know several things for certain. 1. He should not take anything (ie..backpack, clothes, ANYTHING) that I should expect to get back. 2. During that time, he will not shower or brush his teeth, even if he pees during the night. 3. He is responsible for nothing there, and is super happy about this!! SO....During the summers, he goes to his moms for 1/2 of the summer. EVERY YEAR, during that time, he and his mom concoct a scheme that he want to live up there with her. She does not work, will not work, has no income, and cannot even keep her 1-room apartment clean when she is by herself!! SHE IS A PIECE OF WORK!! this woman is not a mother in any sense. She only tells the children what they want to hear....no matter what is right. SS15 is special needs. When I married his dad, he was 3 and could not feed himself..he was a mess!! The doctors diagnosed his with Reactive Detatcment Disorder, and ADD. He lacks judgement and reasoning. He needs to be reminded of basic details. I know he is 15, but as a special needs child, he does need the stability of a home environmenty that meets his needs. We have a home here. We have 3 other boys 10, 9, and 7 who adore their brother. I have been the primary influence in his advancements in scouting, school and church. He adores his dad. I know for a fact that I am the "BAD GUY" in his world, and that bothers me tremendousely. As a teenager, he is argumentative and sassy, and we have gone the rounds. I understand why he wants to move, but I am deadset against it. I know how his mom is and I KNOW FOR A FACT that he will not thrive and move forward there. My DH and I have gone the rounds a number of times as I tried to get him to take a more active role in the disipline of SS15, but he is a bit of a softie..and he works a ton. I am the mom...therefore I am the mom!! It would be soo easy for me to give up and say..WHATEVER~!!! LET HIM GO!! That would be sooo easy for me, but I know in my heart that it is not the right thing to do!!! HELP!!!!!

the wicked witch's picture

Smile Thanks