FSS Jumped in My Face & Swore Two Days Ago, Really Would Appreciate Any Advice that StepTalk Steps Offer

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Two days ago my fiancé and I were returning from a work out and my fiancé noticed his 13 son, Mike, had gone to bed early. When he asked Mike why he was going to bed so early Mike said "because you both don't care if I have any fun." The following happened:

• I walked into the room and told my fiancé that Mike was manipulating him in anger because his computer game time has been reduced from 8 hours a day to 2.
• Mike jumped in my face while yelling "you treated me like sh*t one year ago when you were here." (Two years ago when I visited for the summer and reading was added to his schedule, by his father, in place of 8 hours of gaming. Mike was upset about the change and began running away from home and telling the police that we were abusing him. He was so convincing that my fiancé was actually tried for child abuse - though eventually found not guilty and Mike was ordered to counseling).

Following that incident my fiancé and I were driven apart I refused to reside in the home with a kid who could like and destroy my clean record. During that time my fiancé and I saw other people but decided to get back together in 2013. Since then:
• Mike has taken a weapon to school and is currently on probation
• Mike had jumped at my fiancé
• Mike has jumped at me
• Mike has been expelled from school
• Mike has been in therapy - this has been the case since he was a young child
• Mike has become more attitudinal
• Mike had decided that he is entitled to computer time and will cause trouble when not granted it
• Mike has not grown maturity wise
• Mike has voiced that he does not like women of my ethnicity - never mind that his mother and I are of the same race
• My fiancé has refused to place Mike in residential treatment and he has full custody. Mother has supervised visitation but does not use it and does not have custody of her other 4 children either.
• Mike spoke with his dad and said "I have no conscience I've been trouble since I was little and one day I may kill someone." My fiancé assured him that he is a good kid (I don't see how this is true).
• Since I’ve been here I have gone out of my way to be kind to Mike and I gave him the Christmas of his dreams despite his behavior two years ago and the hell he put us through.

Right now I am on guard for my safety and very uncomfortable here as Mike is home all day and I am here while my fiancé is at work. I don't feel my fiancé will handle this correctly and that he is easily guilted into babying Mike. Case in point: Mike was only denied games for one day following the incident when I believe his behavior towards me to have warranted a few days without games.
Any advice on how to speak to my fiancé about what to do with Mike and/or how to deal would be greatly appreciated.

*I have no children of my own
*Fiancé has full custody
*I don't live here full time

Yeah, that's where I am at.

I guess because I love my

I guess because I love my fiance and Mike expects that his behavior will make me leave because I did 2 years ago when he started lying and alleging that he was abused.

My fiance jumped in Mike's

My fiance jumped in Mike's face when he jumped at me but I couldn't help thinking that Mike was sure my fiance would back him up because my fiance is so weak normally.

I've been googling for the

I've been googling for the last couple of hours. Don't think he will send him.

You're right. I read that

You're right. I read that over and it looked like a serial killer or something in training. I can't accept any of it. His dad has to want to change these things and he is of the mind that Mike just needs more love.

>Mike needs an ass whooppin!

>Mike needs an ass whooppin! Seriously though get out of this fast!

He alleged abuse when he was

He alleged abuse when he was spanked just one time and my fiance was charged - though found not guilty. The cops told us he should have been spanked sooner and more often with one cop saying "this kid is playing games with your lives."

I totally agree with the cop.

I totally agree with the cop. My BS is 14 . . .all I have to do is give him the look. It's easy now because I'd get that butt when he stepped out of line when he was younger. Poor parenting on DH's and BM's part. Step out now. It will not get better!

Thank you so much for this!!!

Thank you so much for this!!! I have been telling my fiance and feeling crazy because it seems so out of the question.

Mike was playing games 8 hours a day and then he is on his phone at least 12-16 hours a day. There was literally never a moment when was not on the phone or tablet when not gaming before I got here. He has very limited social interraction with kids his own age. His only friend is actually younger than him. I don't thing he can hang with kids his own age. He is sort of emotionally delayed and younger childlike.

I will recommend what you've said to his dad.

*I have no children of my

*I have no children of my own
*Fiancé has full custody
*I don't live here full time

^^^^^^^thse are really good attributes. Why the heck are you wasting your time!

You're right and now that I

You're right and now that I am in my late 20's I am feeling more and more like I need to run because I don't have time to waste.

Nothing has changed since you

Nothing has changed since you broke up the first time, gotten worse it sounds like. Your fiancé is not getting the kid the help he needs and he's had plenty of time to do it.

When two people break up and the cause has not been dealt with, there will not be a different outcome.

So, what do you think you should do?

Your fiancé is not equipped to help someone with the problems that his son has (possible sociopath). Is your fiancé ok with the fact that his son might truly hurt someone someday? He needs to get him serious help.

I thought things had because

I thought things had because when they visited me over the last year - about three times - Mike had been a joy to be around and we got along great.

Only now that I have returned to my fiance's place has Mike been true to form. There was a year lull and up until this week I'd been telling my fiance that I thought the therapy had worked. I was convinced based on his behavior this past year that the weapon charge was unfair to him because he must have been bullied but now I believe he intended to harm those classmates as when he yelled at me it was a side of him I have never ever seen. He came out of himself like the hulk and actually sounded like a 13 year old and not the young child he normally sounds like.

He and my fiance had been in therapy together for a year and I thought things had been worked out. My fiance changed and Mike seemed changed.

My fiance I don't think is willing to accept that he cannot help Mike.

I think you're absolutely

I think you're absolutely right. His social worker told me as much in a conversation that his dad was not privy too. She said that it will get a whole lot worse before it gets better if it ever does.

Full disclosure: my fiance

Full disclosure: my fiance used to have a bad temper and yell a lot but his temper - after spending time with his family - I came to understand. I did not, however, accept it and demanded that he get help or lose me. He did and we've been great on that front and I think Mike learned a bit of that behavior from my fiance. Now Mike is using my fiance's former issue against him and me. My fiance said he thinks that Mike was actively getting off on seeing us bicker just before he jumped at me and my fiance apologized for yelling at me in front of Mike because as soon as he yelled Mike jumped in my face as if they were a tag team and Mike looked caught off guard when his dad turned on him and made him apologize to me and "promise" that he would never disrespect me that way again.

My fiance and I are supposed

My fiance and I are supposed to discuss a resolution tonight when he gets home from work but I'm not convinced that he will be open to any of my suggestions because he keeps insisting that I let him handle things his way and not press him.

Unfortunately I will need to ask him to purchase my ticket home as I recently completed a big move and am short on funds.

Yeah, I just did some cursory

Yeah, I just did some cursory research on child psychopaths and he meets most of the criteria. He is very kind to animals - my fiance has a cat and two dogs. Also, he currently attends an alternative school and sees a therapist once a week. I have it on good authority from his case worker who I called on my own that the therapy is not working. I believe his a threat to society or at least others based on his jumping at me, threatening kids with a weapon at school and jumping at my fiance. I elementary he was cursing out teachers, throwing things and grafitting school property.

Honestly, I read Elliot's

Honestly, I read Elliot's whole autobiography and didn't want to mention it here because I didn't want to seem mean but I see a lot of similarities and that is why I am here.

Mike sees whites as superior and is especially fond of white women. He has made clear his preference for them a few times. My fiance has brushed it off but I see a problem with that and I know he doesn't like me because of my ethnicity. On Saturdays we do family movie day and we took him to see a film last Saturday. During the movie my fiance said that Mike reminded him of one of the non-white kids in the film and Mike was so upset because the kid was the same ethnicity of as his mother. He only wants to be considered white even though he is very obviously not. He cannot even pass for full white.

Every time I see him talking to one of the little girls while taking the trash out or something I shudder. I don't care what color a girl or woman is, we don't need more women being abused. Were he to date he'd be a 13 year old female abuser.

Thank you so much for this. I

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it.

Personally, I would have

Personally, I would have stayed out of the relationship after the first round.

You don't live there full time, then pack what is there and stay away.

You can't help either of these people.

No, I don't think I can help

No, I don't think I can help either of them.

You talked about time getting

You talked about time getting short at your age. Don't worry. I have 2 kids, had my first aged 40 with no problems. So you actually have many many years ahead to find a good relationship in which to start a family if you wish to. You don't feel it but you're still very young with a lot ahead of you. Don't waste your life on your partner, no offence he no doubt is lovely in a lot of ways, but he seems to have somewhat created this kid and certainly can't right the situation now with his head so deep in the sand. You don't want the pair of them to drag you down. You gave it your best, you gave them another chance, if anything now they have proved the situation worse than before. I advise you to cut and run, but very nicely and kindly (but completely), so Mike is not left with any sort of grudge for the future.

Thank you, Ive been really

Thank you, Ive been really worried about having a family of my own and starting all over. I am thinking cryobank...

Dad needs to back hand that

Dad needs to back hand that little shit across the face, bend him over a saw horse and light his bare ass up with a belt then have about 5 tons of gravel delivered to the drive way and the little fuck trophy needs to be filling two 5gal buckets with a shovel and moving the gravel from one end of the driveway to the other until further notice.

ZERO tolerance for this crap. Corporal punishment is not abuse and this kid needs a stinging ass, swollen lips, and blisters on his hands until he either pulls his head out of his ass or is adjudicated to a juvenile facility and out of your hair.

Heaven forbid my brothers or I had ever jumped in our father,s face. It would have been far worse if we had ever been aggressive with dad's wife. The fact that his wife is our mother would have been no mitigation to the devastation that dad would have brought to our lives for the crap your resident household crotch dribble has done.

At this stage this is entirely on daddy. It is his fault and he needs to fix it.

IMHO of course.

This truly lifted my spirits!

This truly lifted my spirits! I wish that I could print this out and show it to my fiance! I wish he was of this mind very much! Still, just to read this has helped me a ton. I am not crazy to think that he ought to have stepped up in a much bigger way!! I do strongly believe that this is on him.

Sweetie this kid has some

Sweetie this kid has some serious emotional issues and whether you want to believe it or not you could be in grave danger!!
Here is my story...Teenage Stepchildren
Long post and I apologize in advance...

Been w/ DH since 2006 and knew he was CP of boys ages 9/10 yrs old. This b/c BM ex meth user AND was and is still w/ man who did prison time for domestic violence against her. I love kids... have 4 adult bios I raised as single mom. All 4 are well adjusted, accomplished and successful. I knew there would be adjustments/struggles, but thought "hey I can do this!'

Boy was I ever dumb and completely naive! DH also has 12 yo son from another BM...DH is not currently CP.

The honeymoon period was ok. BM to our faces said I was great...yada yada yada...but little did I know she and her crazy family were undermining me from day one! Telling them they didn't have to listen to me b/c I'm not their mom. SS's had sporadic visitation w/her but talked on phone often enough. I did everything for those boys just as I did for bios...active in school/sports activities. Took them to all practices and attended all games... Dr's appts etc BM would show up once in a while. Bios accepted them into their lives as well.....we did all things as family together.

DH got custody just before we got together...they were living w/ grandma...and she had no structure...did everything for them. Had to teach them about chores, being a part of a family etc...I'm sure you get the idea. It was tough no doubt about it!

Fast forward to last year or so...older SS turned 18 in December 2013 and felt he didn't have to follow rules anymore. Things came to a head w/him in February this year. He got angry w/ us b/c we told him he had to get a job...all he was doing was sitting around house all day on social media...he actually took a swing at his dad so out the door he went! Let me explain my DH and SS's are big!! Not fat just very large folks!! DH is 6'2 275lbs...18 yo 6'2 250lbs and 17 yo 6'2 325lbs.

Now about 17 yo SS...he has issues...had him in counseling and under care of psychiatrist since 2011 after expressing suicidal ideations. Seemed to be doing better.
About ten months ago he gets a GF. I didn't care for this girl from beginning..just gut instinct but my instincts turned out ever so true! His attitude towards me got ugly when we sat him down to talk about it he said it was b/c I didn't like GF. He went on to tell me she 'needs' him b/c she's a cutter and threatens suicide if she can't 'be' w/him! Even w/out my 32 yrs experience as mental health care provider I knew this was not healthy for him!

Well he snuck out and stayed night at her house...I woke up early and called him immediately and he wouldn't answer. So DH and I called GF and told her to bring him home...SS doesn't have DL ...GF refused. She had just moved few days prior and we didn't have new address so when DH demanded her address she continued to argue saying "I will bring him home after we hang out" By this time I'm about ready to have a damn aneurism! DH told her to bring him home or we are calling law enforcement and reporting her for parental interference/kidnapping. This girl is 17 as well. When she brought him home we informed her in no uncertain terms she is no longer allowed at/in our home for her blatant disrespect...this little hussy told ME I'm the problem and in her house parents have to earn her respect and I haven't earned hers!! Took every damn ounce of self control not to beat the shit out of her!

Well last week little shit snuck out again and we were waiting for him when he tried to sneak back in. DH and I sat him down and told him it's simple...follow the rules of our home or there's the damn door!

So SS waits until his dad leaves for work and proceeds to tell me I better not ever tell him what he can and can't do or he'll 'go off on me and it won't be pretty'...he then in a very calm voice tells me he sleeps w/his door locked and knives under his bed b/c he 'knows' I try to come onto his room at night and try to inject him w/air to kill him so one of these days he's going to kill me first. 12 yo ss was here for visit and I realized at this point I was no longer dealing w/angry rebellious teen but a kid w/ paranoid delusional thoughts!

I immediately took 12 yo SS and myself to neighbors for safety called DH and he said babe call law enforcement told him I'm already there...called law enforcement explained I needed welfare check b/c this kid obviously met criteria for 5150 hold...danger to self/others. DH as a courtesy calls BM to let her know her kid is in some serious emotional trouble and needs help. (he's kicking his own ass seven ways to sunday for ever making that call!) So BM calls psycho GF and they both called law enforcement on ME saying I emotionally/physically abuse this kid! DH and I did not know this at the time.

Dh is at this point rushing home from work and as I'm waiting outside neighbors GF comes speeding down street jumps out of car rushes up on me screaming 'what did you do to him?!' Just then 7 deputies roll up and female officer starts listening to 17 yo GF and proceeds to unholster her weapon and orders ME on the ground!! Thank god my DH got there just as this was happening and told other deputies what was really going on! Deputies told female officer to stand down and proceeded inside to talk to SS.

They sat him down and SS admitted to saying everything but b/c he was calm and said he didn't feel that way right then and there they couldn't place him on hold. But they did read him the riot act and told him your dad is a better man than us b/c if you ever said that shit to any of our wives we'd beat the shit out of you...but they said your dad's a big dude and he'd probably maim you! They then proceeded to tell him there's the door so they waited for BM to pick him up.

The drama doesn't end here...psycho BM#1 then contacts psycho BM#2 (of 12 yo) via FB and proceeds to tell her I'm crazy and her son is not safe w/me. So BM#2 hauls DH into court on ex parte hearing...judge dismissed it right away b/c DH has been in court/mediation w/this psycho b/c she refuses to follow court ordered visitation. Perfect example of PAS!!! Judge and mediator told her she's going to lose custody if she keeps this shit up!!

I was having tech issues w/ this site....I adore pretty much all of you...you guys ROCK!!!! Well anyhow needed some support and to vent and made HUGE mistake of going to Cafe Mom!! They are psycho nazis!!! They called me evil and a lot of other things and said thank god those poor babies are no longer in my care!

For about 2 seconds I actually started doubting myself...then my brain kicked in and said hell no...!

My god what is this world coming to when some ppl think it's ok for a kid to hurt ppl?!?!

And to top it off BM of 17 yo didn't even take her OWN kid home...she took him to GF's and that's where he is now...but ya she's SOOOO worried about her baby!
Had to change locks b/c GF had a key w/out us knowing about it!

anony211 pls feel free to

anony211 pls feel free to message me

Thank you, I plan on it.

The kid is headed to the life

The kid is headed to the life as a loser and the best thing you can do is leave.

You and your fiancé can continue to see each other "on the sly" just disappear from the kids life. It's not your fault this is just one of those kids who is more than wounded by a divorce and a replacement mother.

Hardly secondary is your own safety and constant living in fear. Who needs it? I would be out of the house tonight via a motel and permanently out ASAP. Then as I said you two can date when the kids can't become aware of your presence in his Dad's life.

I'm not saying it'll save the day and the kid but at least you'll have done what you can. For now RUN.