As previously stated, I have a 15 yr old ss. Truly he is rude, messy, disrespectful and lazy.. and dh doesn't care! I used to clean up after him, make excuses etc around other people because I felt like I was judged on his behavior. (In addition I suffer from lupus so I am chronically fatigued and in pain often.)

NOT ANYMORE!! If family/friends visit.. I straight out say, sorry about the mess.. ss made it and refuses to clean up after himself. Dh must not mind. Bothers me, but since I'm not his bm guess I have no say. This is one example. Boy does dh get upset and ss embarrassed!! GOOD! First time I did this dh bit#+&@ when everyone left. Ha..told him if he and ss did not like it they could either change behavior or know THEY will be held accountable, not me!! Something for you all to try anyways!