EVIL SD and SS are making their way back
So, why is it that when I think we're Scot free, they keep pulling us back in?
My Spidey senses are tingling with my SS17 - out of nowhere, he decides he wants to have breakfast with his dad. He has no intention of ever coming to our house (thank you, God) and has no interest in repairing the relationships with his step family because he hates us and doesn't want to follow the house rules...buh bye. The issue is, he's up to something with his dad, I can feel it. He wants something - he's manipulative to no end and it's starting now. It could just be that Christmas is right around the corner, but I think it's more than that. At the very least my husband is being put in a situation that s uncomfortable - partly because he allows it. I HATE SS17 and how my hubby behaves in response to him.
Now on to the SS22 - she was involved in a car accident. She lets her dad know and then he tells me. Out of duty to my DH, I ask if she is OK. I really don't care other than it would hurt my hubby if something were to happen to the skids. She's sore and banged up but otherwise OK. She hasn't spoken or texted me (other than a obligatory and phony "Thanks for the gift and I miss you" text 2 months ago) in over a year. SHe wants nothing to do with me and has always said so...until this accident.
Because...Here's the kicker...I am a chiropractor. Last night she was telling her daddy how much pain she is in, and how she feels like something is out of place and would feel so much better if it could just be "popped back in." She is going for an MRI and is worried that it's something more...blah blah blah...I know all of this because DH felt it necessary to give me ALL of the details, even though I didn't ask.
I gave him a few cursory - yeahs and mmm hmms and oh that's a shame...but that was it. He then asks me "Do you want to see my daughter?" I said, "Do I want to see your daughter for what? Why would I WANT to see her? She knows how to reach me, she just doesn't."
Then I asked, "Why did you ask me that? Do YOU want me to see your daughter?" His reply "Nope". But of course he does and he is pissed at ME. Why should I go out of my way to care about his little entitled piece of shit who doesn't care about me? Where the hell was she when I had a car accident and couldn't work for 2 weeks? What about my cancer scare? Where was she when all I could do was cry? What about when I changed MY wedding plans to accommodate HER wishes or when she didn't invite ME and my kids to HER wedding? And I am supposed to give a flying rat's ass about her? I don't think so...
I am so tired of NEVER winning. If I get involved, I quickly learn I am not appreciated and I need to mind my own business. If I don't do a damned thing, I am an evil bitch that everyone hates. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I'm just so tired of this song and dance...will it ever end??
It never ends. SM TO SKID
It never ends. SM TO SKID relationship is totally one sided. We are to give and they treat us like poop. DISENGAGE and learn to ignore hubby's wishful thinking.
That is what I do now and it helps .
I disengaged fully this
I disengaged fully this spring. That's when SS17 decided he wasn't coming over anymore, he said I didn't like him. I was stunned that he actually caught on. LOL. I was never mean to him - I just treated him as if her were invisible, just like he treated me.
My poor hubby thinks there's still a chance for the Brady bunch. It's so sad. Our "step family" therapist has pointed out that the skids are acting out and that there is NO WAY for me to win. They will find fault in any level of involvement that I have. It will always be too much or not enough. Period.
With the holidays right around the corner, I believe it's time for a tune up with the therapist so DH can be reminded how HIS kids are jerks and the reason we are not the friggin Brady bunch, is because of THEM. I pray my hubby can cope better with this - it's so pitiful.
WW ~ Don't you just love that
WW ~
Don't you just love that part of you do too much or not enough we are so wrong.
SD was oh so happy to accept the 20 bucks I handed out every weekend, the lunches I brought to school for you , the outings we took her to, the rides n food n such I did for her. Amazing ~ you can't do enough.
I am at the point where you are with ~ I do not speak her name at all. He is struggling with the notion that he can't speak freely about her. Ummm No you can speak all you wish ~ I just will not ever engage in a meaningful conversation with you about her ~ for a couple reasons as you made it oh soooo clear.
1) I will not engage in an argument w you ~ you say her names gets brought up n instant argument duly noted. My ears do work n I did hear you.
2.) she is a non factor in my life ~ I don't really give a flying F.
It's NOT a good idea. I have
It's NOT a good idea. I have had to dismiss someone from my practice because THEIR horrendous behavior causes a strained doctor/patient relationship on my part. My rule is to never place my hands on someone with whom I'm upset. It's a HUGE liability and dangerous. So I had to tell them they need to go elsewhere.
This case is really no different.
And SCUBED - you're 100% right! I never even thought about the waaaaaah factor! Duh. Good lord. Could you imagine if she didn't see instant improvement? Thanks for pointing that one out - how on earth could I have missed that? Sheesh.
Another point is that I do not deal with personal injury cases, ever. So I have an out there as well. I don't deal with insurance and if I cared for her (cared for her - hahahahaha) I would ruin her case. There are other reasons as well that would work.
It's just the nerve of this skid (and my DH) to assume I would actually give a shit...ugh...dreading the holidays
Bad idea - she'll no doubt
Bad idea - she'll no doubt have chronic something else if you help her...