"Your room smells like someone pooped in it"

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Yup, this is what DH told SheSloth tonight. I wanted to bust out laughing, because I know why it smells that way! I wanted to yell, "Because she doesn't wipe her ass and never washes her clothes!" He thinks it is just her trash, but he doesn't get that it is far worse than that. He isn't that observant...it hasn't hit him how long it has been since the girl asked for a roll of toilet paper or did laundry.

He seriously has no

He seriously has no clue...???
Has he become nose-blind to it?!

Well, she does shower, at

Well, she does shower, at least. And she thinks spraying perfume on her clothes is enough. Yes...she is gross! Plain laziness!

At my office one of the

At my office one of the receptionists ordered sugar cookie spray for the bathroom and it always smells like shitty cookies in there LOL.

THANK you! I don't even like

THANK you! I don't even like "food scented" candles or wax melts. Competes with my own cooking.

I know what the problem

I know what the problem is...this man is a piss poor parent.

Ooooh that's a good one!

Don't even have to do that!

Don't even have to do that! Spend a few bucks to get a bottle of stuff called LIQUID ASS.

Trust me...WAYYYYY worse than doggy poo smell!

Oh hell no!!! LOL A friend of

Oh hell no!!! LOL

A friend of ours has that stuff. He is still trying to hatch the perfect plan to use it. His wife will not even let him open the bottle in the house because it is that bad. At least her stench stays confined to her room for the most part. Right now, we are in that season where it isn't warm enough for the A/C to kick in, but it isn't really cold enough to switch it over to heat yet...so we only have ceiling fans going in the house, and I have a portable heater in my office. I started putting essential oils on the air filters because the unit is right outside of her bedroom. The right mixture of oils, and the smell from her room doesn't spread in the house. And now that it is approaching the holiday season, it is time for my yummy cinnamon scented candles and stuff...those things are potent, and can drown out any bad smell!

shes tried with the kid and

shes tried with the kid and her husband. they both refuse common sense and good parenting. its out of her hands and not really her problem at this point.

Stained and disgusting

Stained and disgusting underwear is exactly why I think skid cried to daddy that all her underwear was missing. I've seen it, and wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Can't wait to see how long before she cries to daddy again.
The room smell is so nasty, combination of moldy wet clothes, poop, and blood stained underwear, and nasty arm pit odor. If she were mine, I'd be so embarrassed, but she's not. DH can take full credit for that gem.
And yes, the spray. Whole house smells like it after she leaves. That fixes everything...

Time to remodel her room. No

Time to remodel her room. No carpet or wood furniture in her room. Basic concrete or tile floors with a floor drain. Washable wall paneling, plastic furniture and an inflatable mattress that can all be hosed down and disinfected. Anything not put away can be shoveled into a pile and bagged (while wearing proper HazMat PPE of course), and put out with the garbage. Don’t forget to have a floor drain installed in the middle of her room so that the filthy water and products from disinfecting can be squeegeed easily.

Record the cleanup for reference to her crusty rotten crotched undergarments, filthy clothing, etc….

Capturing this classic case of filth for posterity will give you notable traction and leverage in the future when and if she ever matures enough to comprehend how truly disgusting she currently is.

Good luck, don’t forget the clothes pin for your nose.

It sounds that we share

It sounds that we share parents. My and dad make Ward & June Cleaver seem like abusive uninterested parents and uncommitted spouses.

Mom is amazing, holds very stringent standards for their home and as kids my brother and I were expected to pitch in. We would on a monthly basis have to dust and put wood polish on the furniture in our rooms. The beds were made every AM before we left for school, and we helped with the housekeeping chores regularly including, sweeping and mopping the hard woods, dusting, vacuuming the carpets, cleaning windows, etc... It was not the gulag but it was structured and active. We did have a play room that was where the chaos and clutter was contained but even that we had to pick up and keep clean. No one went to bed unless the play/sun room was in order. Even today my parent’s home looks like a history and art museum. There is a place for everything and everything is in its place.

Dad helps too. Mom is the chef and hostess; dad cleans up after the meal. Mom is into crafts and gardening. Dad hates anything that grows, entails digging in the dirt, or is crafty in any way. But …. When mom needs his help with the flower beds and gardening dad jumps in. He has designed and installed an amazing drip irrigation/feed system for the yards and any time mom makes a design change he will run a new line or move an existing line to give mom what she wants for her garden. When mom is quilting dad helps her load the long arm quilting machine he gave her for their 40th (12 years ago).

They are a team who set and enforced standards for their boys.

Our home is very clean but we live in it so it has some clutter and the occasional mess that goes a few days before it is addressed. Both my bride and I detest house work and it shows upon occasion. Mostly with clean clothes that need to be folded and put away, and with a dishwasher that needs to be unloaded , clean dishes put away, and dirties loaded and started.

When we have guests coming over we can usually get it very presentable in about half an hour.

My mother’s home on the other hand is event and guest ready all of the time. It drives me nucking futz. I try to tell her that she is retired too (She will be 70 next month. Dad recently turned 72) and her home does not need to be perfect at all times but she will hear none of that nonsense. Dad agrees with me and to remove some of mom’s self imposed burden regarding the house he has had a cleaning service come in weekly for the past 10 or so years and to preserve mom’s new set of knees he . Mom is like the Mrs. Clean drill sgt with the cleaning crew though they love her to death and mom and dad are their favorite clients to the point that they sometimes bring their kids to meet mom and dad. Mom always has fresh cookies, scones, muffins, and tea/coffee going when the cleaners arrive and when everyone is done they all sit down for tasty treats and conversation. The crew always makes sure that my parent’s home is their last client for the day so that they don’t have to rush out when the work is done.

When we visit my parents we make sure to help and to either keep our room picked up or the door closed. Since we live internationally and travel frequently we often just live out of our suitcases when we visit which drives my mother insane. So, the door to our room stays shut.

SD19 and SD13 moved in FT

SD19 and SD13 moved in FT with DH and I almost 2 years ago, after BM died. In those first few weeks, I did their laundry and took on the mom role (WTF for, I still don't know....). The Skids were 17 and 11. It was about the third week of them living with us, and I was sorting the laundry. SD11 was right there with me, helping, and I was teaching her about hot and cold, whites and darks, so she wouldn't end up with pink socks etc.

A pair of SD17's underwear was horribly encrusted with Aunt Flo. I mean, how do you NOT wear a liner or know that your Aunt will be arriving soon? And how do you NOT hand wash your soiled undies in cold water when you have an accident? I learned that at the young age of 11. Cold water and hand soap work wonders and save the day, every time! I threw SD17's undies into the wash quickly and SD11 hadn't seen why. I told her the undies were standing up on their own and waving to me.

I stopped doing SD17's laundry after that day. It was too disgusting. Now, she wears the THIN leggings that we all "love." Of course with those hot numbers on, you need to wear thongs which we all "love," so I don't even want to know what happens with accidents.

Also, SD19 has been away at college and her room is clean except for a rogue pair of underwear she left on the floor in September. I haven't looked in there in awhile, but it has always had an odor to it. I think it's because SD19 would wash her hair, not dry it, and immediately put it up in a wet bun on her head. That wet hair got onto her pillow every day and would make her room smell like old socks, even when she's not there! Ugh.

~ Moon

So, why doesn't he make her

So, why doesn't he make her clean it?

This past summer, SheSloth

This past summer, SheSloth tried to say she needed shorts. I specifically recalled that we bought several pair the summer prior that she hardly wore...jean shorts...and she is still the same clothing size. Girl has so much clothing in her room, if she did have to wash it all, it would be no less than 5-6 loads...and we have a high capacity washer and dryer! Girl has a lot of clothing! I told DH we were not buying shorts...that she could clean her room and find the shorts we already bought for her! At this point in her life, it isn't like she is regularly outgrowing clothing! She starts complaining about not having clothing, I tell DH she needs to wash! Not spending any more on that girl than needs to be spent any more.

Now, she will not ask us for underwear, but that is because she has decided she is old enough at 15 to be wearing lacy thongs! Found them on the floor of the bathroom. Don't know where she is getting them, because we only ever bought her regular cotton panties that cover the butt...not granny panties...I mean, low rise enough so they didn't come out the top of her jeans and with age-appropriate patterns. I doubt BM is buying them, because the woman never leaves the house. So either SheSloth is finding money to buy them herself (by getting her step-dad to give her money for mall trips), or she is shoplifting them. When she is with BM, she regularly gets her step-dad to drop her off at the mall to go hang with friends.

I know, right? Guess that is

I know, right? Guess that is why DH used to always call over MIL and SIL to clean SheSloth's room at our house when she was little. It is just too overwhelming for her to clean it herself!

And the girl still expects to move in to the dogs' room, which is a bit larger than hers, over Christmas break. I'll have to remind DH that part of the requirements to be allowed to move in there was that SheSloth keep her room clean from the point that was talked about until Christmas break. I'm not really in the mood to clean out that closet and move all the shelves and stuff so that SheSloth can move in there just so she can have a bigger mess. I know the girl is going to say she has this mess because she doesn't have enough room. Really? All the clothes all over your room while your closet rod is not even 1/4 being used and piles of empty hangers are at the bottom of the closet...that is because you don't have enough room? The overflowing trash can that hasn't been emptied in 2 months...that is because you don't have enough room? Sonic Drive-In cups, empty soda cans, and other trash all over your room, that is because you don't have enough room?

Don't you dare move her into

Don't you dare move her into that room. No way!

"At least I finally got him

"At least I finally got him to stop pooping in the bath tub. I am not sure how he felt clean all those years, bathing with his own poo"

:jawdrop:

I have one of those too!

I have one of those too! SD19 needs a padded room already!

I agree that these filthy

I agree that these filthy behaviors are a skid way of exerting defiance & control. It was sadly reassuring to come to this site & discover how common this problem is, especially with SDs. At least we're not alone with these disgusting things.

It's all about these shewolves marking territory. Guess they like their own foul scent?

@Anon2009..."I know what the

@Anon2009..."I know what the problem is...this man is a piss poor parent."

Yet, I'm not really allow to parent either, or SheSloth goes crying to DH that I scare her, or crying to BM that I'm being a b***h to her.

My bios may have had messy rooms...I mean, truthfully, what teen doesn't. I had a messy room! HOWEVER, both of my bios understood hygiene, and strange smells did not emit from their rooms...well, with the exception of the few times BD23's cat would decide he was NOT going to cover his poop in the litter box! BS19 washes clothes once a week at least, and showers twice a day (because of sports, he knows he tends to have more sink than the typical guy). BD23 still washes clothes about 2-3 times a week (she has this crazy love of doing laundry...never understood it...says she likes the way her clothes and sheets smell right out of the dryer), and will also shower twice a day. She has two jobs...one doing housekeeping for a richy-rich hotel, and the other doing security guard work at a museum. She does her housekeeping job in the morning...and she can't stand going to either job feeling dirty, so she showers before each.

Past the age of 4, I never had any issue with either of my bios wiping their butts, either! BS19 went through a small spell of not wiping well when he was 6, but all I had to do was threaten to hang his stained underwear on his door knob for all to see, and he started getting more careful about it.

But here is the thing, I was always on my bios when they were younger to shower, brush their teeth, brush their hair, etc. When they were 8, they started washing their own clothes. When BD23's "visiter" started making appearances, she had to share a bathroom with her brother, and she was actually embarrassed to have him see her used pads...I mean...he was a boy! She would always wrap them really good so that it would look like a wad of paper in the trash can, and if it was fully, she would take it out...again, she didn't want anyone to know when it was "that time".

SheSloth on the other hand was raised most of her life by a slob! BM didn't do jack about teaching her hygiene! We tried when SheSloth was with us maybe one weekend a month...if DH was lucky. Even when it came to potty training...SheSloth was still in diapers at age 4, because BM was too lazy to take the time with her...even though the woman has always been a stay-at-home mom! The girl peed herself until she was 8-9 years old! Seriously...if we went anywhere as a "family" in my car, I used to have to make sure to line the back seat with a garden sized trash bag and an old towel, because if we were on the road for more than 20 minutes, the girl would pee herself in the car! So it really isn't any surprise that SheSloth is the lazy slob she is. We didn't have her enough when she was younger to make a difference, and now that BM can't handle the girl in her teen years, she dumps this child on us that is stuck in her disgusting ways!

And it doesn't help that DH doesn't ride her ass about this stuff! Her breath ALWAYS stinks...part of it is the purging I'm sure. The other part is that the girl will not use anything but little kid toothpaste, because anything that would actually clean her breath "burns her mouth"! Um, that "burn" is germ-fighting! Her feet...oh, I don't think there are even words to describe her feet! The girl has never believed in socks! There have been times on road trips that she would take her shoes off in the car, and I would immediately want to vomit! I would tell her to put her shoes back on, and she gets all mad at me, "But I want to be comfortable!" Girlfriend...put those shoes back on before I kick you out of this car! Seriously! And she always smells like an over abundance of perfume, surely to cover up not washing her clothing and sleeping in sheets that I seriously cannot remember the last time they were washed.

big difference between living

big difference between living in CLUTTER vs living in FILTH.

Exactly! It is one thing to

Exactly! It is one thing to have your DVDs and games laying everywhere in your room, clean clothes still in the basket or hanging from dresser drawers, shoes everywhere, etc., and quite another to have piles of smelly, unwashed clothes, trash, and who knows what else.