How to get over no privacy
Forums:
I know the skids report everything that goes on in our house to BM. I will see SS16's eyes light up whenever any conversation at our house might seem like information BM would want (raises, vacations, big purchases). For the most part we try not to discuss this in front of the skids but sometimes they are around it. I cringe when anything personal is spoken. I feel like we are personally invaded every time they are here. SS16 has even started asking questions (mostly put up to it by BM I assume) about some specifics. So how do you deal with the spies in your house?
I am not sure you ever get
I am not sure you ever get over it. My SO has a bad habit of over explaining things to EVERYONE, this really annoys me because when done with he skids it unintentionally is giving BM info. I hate that I have to hidem hair product, makeup even the land line phone, my tablet and ANYTHING I do not want looked at or touched. It SUCKS!!! It's EOWE so I jusr deal. Shit even my cats are in witness protection when the skid marks are around.
I never say anything around
I never say anything around them. I wish I had more control over DH. He knows but I don't think he "wants to know" his kids continuously conspire against him.
Bad thing is they will report
Bad thing is they will report EVERYTHING! I can't even shop for myself around SheSloth, because she will throw a fit and run to BM that I bought myself something and not her!
Same thing happens with other things. I keep trying to get DH to keep his mouth shut, but he doesn't. Nope...he gets a bonus at work, he will blurt it out in front of SheSloth. Next thing you know, she "needs" all kinds of stuff! All the more reason I don't say anything anymore about any raises and such I get at work. Yeah, some may think it is lying to DH, but if I tell him, he will blurt it out in front of SheSloth, and next thing you know, "But can't 'we' afford it, now?" What is this "we" crap? Last I checked, SheSloth was NOT my child, and I have no financial responsibility toward her. I keep it to myself, pay what I have to pay, and just let DH know what he can and cannot spend. If I don't do it that way, DH would buy SheSloth whatever she wanted, even if it wasn't his money, and it meant something else didn't get paid!
This use to be a problem, our
This use to be a problem, our main problem was if we had an agrument then dPPP would run to mommy and tell her we were fighting and here would come the "I still love you" "I miss you" phone calls and texts. We just stopped talking infront of them. If they ask how much something costs or anything the answer is always "That's an adult issue, so mind your buisness."
I have been dealing with this
I have been dealing with this as well. SD6 is expected to report back to BM and/or GBM after every weekend visit with us. They document everything she says and send it to BM's lawyer.
I'm seriously tempted to make up a bunch of stuff to say in front of her to see if it makes it into the next letter my husband receives from BM's lawyer.
My husband also over-shares with SD, which drives me nuts. He tells her everything that has gone on with our DD (18 months) since the last time SD saw her. I hate this the most because my husband has received letters from BM's lawyer with things they've documented about my DD (based on what SD says about her).
ive thought about a pregnancy
ive thought about a pregnancy one with my SD14....
and regarding lottery tickets, if we are ever lucky enough to win, we've already agreed long ago that as his non-wife, anything cashed/collected will be done so solely in my name so BM cant get any of it.
Priceless
Priceless
Duplicate
Duplicate
How to deal? Be thankful
How to deal? Be thankful they're not making shit up at least.
That's what mine did. If they didn't have anything juicy to report, and it'd been too long between drama-fests, they would (and still DO, actually) just make shit up.
As far as finances, we do not discuss money in front of children. Ever. But I will say that I make quite a bit more than both DH and BM, and live accordingly. (I'm not rich, by any means, but BM makes crap money.) Anyway, she took DH back to court once for an increase to CS because "his new wife belongs to a golf club, and hires someone to clean her house, and has way more money!" The judge flat out told her she was an idiot, not entitled to a single DIME of my money, and to get over it.
I loved that judge....
OOoooooooo! Time to have fun.
OOoooooooo! Time to have fun. Photo shop some bank statements, purchase orders for Mercedes Benz, a couple of his and her Rolexes, some first class vacation plane and cruise tickets, etc.... and leave them lying around in conspicuous places. The Skids will feed BM and her head will explode. Then when she says anything you and DH can truthfully say "We never bought any of those things. We don't know what you are talking about." }:)
Pepper the dinner conversation when the Skids are around by talking about the model home you and DH toured recently and are thinking about buying, or a car you took for a test drive and are going to make an offer on. Be sure to talk prices.
Have fun!!!! }:)
Same here. It's not like we
Same here. It's not like we have anything to hide. I am just a private person and always have been. I just feel like I can't relax in my own home because I am always watching everything I say and do. It also really makes me dislike his kids.
OMG! SheSloth does the same
OMG! SheSloth does the same thing, even now that she is living with us. The ONLY time we hear anything that went on at BM's, it is because the stepdad said or did something that pissed SheSloth off. Yet, BM is always throwing things in DH's face that SheSloth apparently said happened here! Like I said...if I buy even a $10 shirt in front of SheSloth, and she wants something...regardless of price...she will tell BM, "Well, she bought herself a shirt, and then when I said I NEEDED boots, I was told no! But I NEED them!" Then, next thing DH gets, is this text from BM...how dare he deny SheSloth what she "needs" while I go around spending all kinds of money! He then has to set her straight: 1) I work; 2) the shirt was only $10 while the boots that SheSloth WANTED were $150; and 3) girl has several pairs of shoes that still fit and are in perfectly good condition!
Of course...one has to keep in mind that SheSloth is now living with us because BM can't handle her, and BM pays $0 in child support! Yet, the woman thinks she has the right to tell me how to spend my own paycheck!
There is no way she can even
There is no way she can even get a court order telling me how to spend my money! Not my child, not my responsibility! Even for child support...DH could make $20,000 and I could make $200,000...if she was trying to get a court to make an order on child support, they aren't even allowed to take my income into consideration (at least here)! So, yeah, she is crossing the line trying to say how I spend MY money! And whenever SheSloth used to whine that my bios had this or that, BM would try to get mad at DH telling him he had to do the same for SheSloth! You know, it isn't my fault that the woman sits on her back side and can't provide jack for her child, and has to depend on everyone else to do it for her!
I know. It's pretty sad when
I know. It's pretty sad when you can't speak freely in your own damn house! It does not improve once skid marks become adults, either. :O
Actually, I think it gets worse. Wait til they have the GALL to ask how much they are inheriting when you and their parent dies! (Or maybe your skids have more character than mine do.) I didn't even answer that shit.
Mine actually got her kids to
Mine actually got her kids to take pictures of our home, so she could see what things we have. It really is like living with an enemy. Sadly, the very person who hates you your life partner/spouse loves and adores. Talk about an insane and impossible situation!
You could have fun feeding them false things to freak their mom out though!