Ss went from 0 to 100
So ss13 was confronted about the underwear stealing at BMs house. He was also told that we also found some in his room here. He also got in trouble for stealing his Nintendo DS back from our house. We took it away because he is failing 4 classes. BM informed him that he will not be attending basketball anymore.
Ss13 was sent outside to do his chores at BMs house. I guess he took to long and BM went to check on him. He was gone and she called the cops. He got 5 miles from home in the country in 10 degree weather. Bm takes him to the hospitial and they sign him up for 2 weeks of outpaitent therapy for 8 hours a day.
On Friday dH went to pick up ss at the pick up point. Dh harshly tells ss that running away is stupid, stealing will not fly, and called him out on all the wrappers we found in his room. Dh made ss sell 3 of his new DS games to pay for my stole bra and underwear. Ss was pissed.
On Sunday dh went to check ss room and found an orange peel under his pillow, got chewed out for that. Theni. Ss backpack dh found his old iPhone, his beats head phones, a blackberry charger and iPhone head phones. Dh chewed ss out, probably the loudest he has ever yelled at anyone. Ss ran to the door and tried to out on his boots to "runaway". Dh dragged him back to the couch and chewed him out again.
Ss said he wants to run away because he is stresses and he doesn't like all the chores he has to do. Boo woo.
It's odd because ss has never acted out like this and all of a sudden this happened.
Hmmmm? On one level I think
Hmmmm? On one level I think paddling his ass is in order, on another level I think there must be something causing this other than just goofy teen boy brainfartitis. I would say that DH needs to stay consistent in the rules, behavioral expectations, and consequences. This kid needs consistency.
Good luck.
My husband will be calling
My husband will be calling the doctors today and explaining about the PASing. Ss does need to learn that under no circumstances is it ever okay to act like this. I hope the therapist can get through to him or get an insight into his thought process.
I think the outpatient
I think the outpatient therapy is a good idea, and he probably needs more than just two weeks of it. It sounds like he's very much stressed, I highly doubt that it's about chores though. Have yall gotten one of those home drug tests? It might be a good idea to look into that. Talk with his teachers, he may be getting bullied at school, and I know cyber bullying can really stress a kid out.
I hope everything works out for him soon.
He said he gets picked on at
He said he gets picked on at school. Bm said she went to the school to talk to the principle. My dh could call the school, but going there would be difficult since we live 6 hours away. I don't think it's cyber bullying. Ss does not have access to a computer at either house.
Just a note about the
Just a note about the therapy, to be ready to address what YOU want and will or won't do.
My SDthen16 was having some serious stomach issues, requiring hospitalization, and her doc determined it was stress induced and recommended intensive (5 days a week, 8 hours a day) outpatient therapy. It helped tremendously - but the therapist also STRONGLY recommended that SDthen16 move out of BM's house and into ours. (BM - while not PAS'ing - was causing SD a LOT of stress for a multitude of reasons.) DH and I talked about it, and I was all for her living with us. She's a good kid though, albeit still a teenager with all the lack of maturity and sense that comes with being that age.
Anyway, the therapist might very well want to talk to you (SD's wanted to talk to me, she talked to all the parents and step parents), and you might want to think in advance how you'd feel about SS living with you full time. Just in case.
I don't think I could
I don't think I could continue to live in my house if ss had to come live with us. I feel very uncomfortable when he is here. Even if the therapist said it ss best interest to come live with us, Bm would never allow it because she would lose her child support.
Ah no! No person is going to
Ah no! No person is going to be allowed in my house and break rules. We have never allowed ss to eat in his room and stealing is NEVER acceptable. Ss ruined mine and BMs property so he had to pay us back. It's a tough lesson to learn, but it's better to learn now rather then later while sitting in jail figuring out how to pay his bail.
Over the years we have tried positive reinforcement to divert ss minor behavior issues. We took trips to Disneyland, and all the other fun stuff in California. So it's not like we have always been this way.
I don't need counseling. I'm not the one making bad decisions. I'm not the one that's going to end up in jail for stealing. Next time SS steals from my house, the cops are being called.
Umm, no. First of all, this
Umm, no. First of all, this kid should be terribly embarrassed because he did something disgusting and wrong. He violated someone else's privacy/things. When kids (even little kids) steal things, they of course should be made to pay for them. Thats how they learn responsibility and don't end up in jail. Stealing is not a part of healthy sexuality!
This kid has an honesty issue and letting lying go is not the way to handle it. That would be a terrible disservice to him. Teens are tough but parents need to hold them accountable any way.
Especially if he's lovin' on
Especially if he's lovin' on that underwear. :sick: