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Second session of therapy. Blah

Childless stepmom's picture

Submitted by Childless stepmom on Wed, 02/25/2015 - 1:41pm

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:jawdrop: seriously. Would be much easier to just disengage. Really. Much better. Although good advise given, would have worked, if DH could follow instructions. Anyway. So be it. I'm clearly what's wrong with this picture. How to feel lonely in a crowd in your own home? Become a stepmom.

Sports Fan's picture

Submitted by Sports Fan on Wed, 02/25/2015 - 2:20pm

The only way therapy can work is if the people going to therapy are open to it. You can have the greatest therapist in the world and it won't work if the person is not listening to them and accepting the help.

I like to think of it as "you can lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink it".

Childless stepmom's picture

Submitted by Childless stepmom on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 11:07am

Sorry, now that I'm feeling a little stronger after a battered week let me try explain. So second session of therapy after a epic fail on all our parts over the skids weekend with us. I threw a wobbly because I was frustrated with SD15 that lied about something a while back and I felt it was not handled properly... So explosive family meeting was called with tempers flairing and shouting and saying thing s that really should not have been said... No united front with DH and I but rather DH taking sides with lying SD15. Anyway stupid thing blown completely out of proportion with messages typed from Skids phones to me saying I'm horrible and I must never come back etc. all orchestrated by BM ( yeah we walked straight onto that movie set). So therapist was good. For one, I had no idea that your frontal lobe of your brain is only fully developed at age 25. Therefore, my expectation of SD11 and SD 15 to be able to reason is completely mentally/ physically an impossibility. I googled and checked. Naturally I thought what a load of hogwash! But it's there! Makes things a little more clear. Anyway. She asked DH to phone the skids and BM to say he is fetching the skids for supper. Yeah there were some harsh thing to hear, like none of them want me to be there. But they got over it and pitched. Helped SD 15 with a baking project. SD11 was as sulky as always. Nothing new. Just I guess uncomfortability on all parts. At the end of the evening I they went home and then they clearly had some bitch session in the car about me as DH came back with more things that are wrong with me, or that I did wrong that evening. So it just so happens that these last two weeks at work have been a bit of a fault finding week for the bosses, so I guess I'm just feeling completely useless and unfit on all aspects of life. I think if another person has to ask me to be the better person then I may just puke. Therapist suggested that I try a softer approach, peace, be the adult, the better person :jawdrop: clearly it's my lot in life, my mother has told me that from small, it's always frustrated me.

Childless stepmom's picture

Submitted by Childless stepmom on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 11:09am

I guess what was frustrating about the session was the fact on coaching from the therapist on what to say on the call to skids and BM, DH could not bring me up in the conversation as wanting to also resolve the issue as well . I was mad about that and then thought, this is going to be easier to disengage due to lack of inclusion. Exclude me= disengage.