I'm glad I found this site so I can definitely get a look at what type of obstacles everyone faces later on. I mean I'm sure everyone has been in my place when they first started dating their spouses and I'm sure each experience was different. I appreciate your response.

Thank you so much for your response, I appreciate the time you took to respond. The things you mentioned do worry me but his son is so young that he won't remember his parents together. So I won't have him thinking his mom and dad will one day be back together. Which is really sad to think about but I can't help but feel kind of relieved because it's better for me. I do however believe BM believes her and my be will eventually get back together and that's something else I think about. The BM's mom always has something to say and is the instigator when it comes to me. My boyfriend is trying and I've voice many times that this is all new to me and he needs to be patient just like I have to be patient with him. He has two sides to deal with and because he's a guy I'm sure he won't do everything the right way but he's human.

His son is not a terror, not yet at least, he's a three year old who is trying to get things over on his dad. He's a very sweet and very smart. I sit and engage with him but there are some days where I don't want to be bothered. He has learned to say my name and when his dad tells him to go say bye to me he'll come over and give me a kiss or bow his head so I can give him a kiss.

I don't know how it will be later on but everyone has their own experience with this and I'm hoping I can learn from it.

Thanks so much for your response! It has crossed my mind when him and I think about getting married or having kids which is not in the near future by any means. I think about the hate I'll get from the BM and the grandmother but when it comes to the MIL she and I get along very well. She knows how the BM is and is very upset that she's making her son's like harder than it needs to be.

with regards to the household chores, I do them when I stay at his place. Just to help out but mostly because he's a guy and I'm a woman who likes stuff organized and clean. The loving the child as my own is still something I don't quite understand. He will never truly be mine when I marry my Bf so I'm not sure how it works. I care about his son a lot, when he's sick or when he's gone to the hospital I wanted to be there with my boyfriend but I felt like I wasn't allowed to be there, like it wasn't my place.

I'm not sure if what I'm saying makes me seem unintelligent but me running away isn't just because I love his father. There's more to it than that. I talk to my family and friends about it and they do support me and they see how happy he makes me and they love his son and thinks he's adorable. They sometimes think I over react with some things.

I do agree with you about the tantrum performance, it is the loudest screams I've heard, I've become so bitter than anytime i hear a child in a store or restaurant I seriously just want to turn to the parent and tell them to quiet their child up. And that's not me, I'm not a hateful person. I just know that when I have kids I will discipline and feed them differently, they'll have a schedule and I will just stuff different. Idk how my boyfriend would feel about the idea about leaving him in there alone but it's like I expect his son to know everything, to be potty trained, off of his sippy cup and I keep reminding myself that he's not my kid. I can do it my way when I have my own.

You have definitely made a great point and I agree that I probably won't have the same love for his son that I have for my own children. And is that okay? I mean the bond will never be as strong as the one a mother and child have because they aren't really the mother. You made me think about that more closely. I thank you for taking the time to respond back.