lazy husband?

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I've been married almost 5 years now. My husband and I met and within months we're married. Its been a great life with him but the last few years I feel like he's detached from his kids. Kids now 7&10 , I met them when 2&5. I feel like when they are gone for several days, I remind him to call his kids, or if they have a school event to make sure he attens. One of his kids is going through counseling and I reminded him many many times to set up appts with her(also I'm the one who got him to call and get her into counseling!)...I remind him to remember to do chores brush teeth change clothes and not just take whatever from the kitchen for snack...wow I can think of so many. Its like he's detached and careless. They would probably eat candy and McDonalds for their dinners if I didn't stop that not even too long ago(I'd work eves and didn't realize what dinners he would make)... lately it's made me worry, a woman who has no children is reminding a man who has children to just be a normal parent? It scares me to think we will ever have kids. This can't be normal right? And also I talk to the kids mother more than he does. Sometimes I joke and say they come to visit me because really they would rather hang out with me. Ugh what's wrong with this picture???!!!

Out of curiosity why are you

Out of curiosity why are you still doing for your husband? Can I ask how many years it's been you think he is detached? 1/2/3/4/5?

Id say the last year and a

Id say the last year and a half...and I decided I'm not going to anymore.

He even says thanks.all the

He even says thanks.all the time for reminding him and that he's "absent minded" wtf

I have one of those. He can

I have one of those. He can remember fantasy football spreadsheets, game statistics, copying new movies to the HD, anything that interests him personally but not to wipe his son's behind/ make a psychiatrists appointment/ respond to a school email. It's not good enough. You are at an earlier stage than I am for tolerating this nonsense. Stop it now rather than later. I am very bitter about it.

I've finally realized that

I've finally realized that I'm not going to play parent anymore. I noticed his 10 year old still has poppy underwear and I keep enforcing action. Why doesn't he care about his child's hygiene? The mother too, the children are with her more and I always find very dirty underwear. I guess I've kept it up because i care about them and they are people- and both parents slack on many areas. It will be hard not to speak up and maybe embarrassing..ughh idk what to do

I cared too much to put it

I cared too much to put it simply. I am now evil SM who makes SS wipe his bum and wash his hands, eat like a human being, say please and thank you etc. There for he hates me. Don't do it to yourself. We as non blood relations cannot care more than the biological family. It's a tough one.

Thats aweful. Just to have

Thats aweful. Just to have someone care like that, they should be grateful for someone like you. The kids don't hate me- yet... I know they love me very much and at times I don't say things in fear they will think I'm trying to be their mother. I do expect chores to be done, beds made and clean up messes. Everything else I remind the husband to remind them so it comes from his mouth
When they were younger things were so much easier. I kinda knew this day would come but not before they were teens!!

Omg Becky, are we married to

Omg Becky, are we married to the same man? I sweat my dh had "given up"with SD. I'm trying to disengage, because I'm doing way too much for SD, and I'm too involved. I'm trying to disengage so that he will step up. So far he's slackingot even more. He would rather make excuses for her behavior than actually parent. I have to step in sometimes because she is so gross (bad breath, greasy dirty hair) that I can hardly stand her sitting on my couch.
She's almost 11 and can brush her own teeth or wash her own hair. She'll go in and get wet, her hair was shampooed but it's still so greasy and full of dandruff. So I go in and wash her hair for her (I make her wear a swim suit). And as I'm in there washing her hair she screams and cries as if I'm using nails or sharp glass. I'm scribing her hair with the same intensity as I wash my own hair, and that I've used to wash my kids' hair when they were little, enough to get oil and dirt out, but not enough to hurt.
She comes to our house with her hair matted to her head sometimes, the oily parts of her hair going from her scalp to 5 inches down. So I know her mother doesn't help her either... I don't wash her hair for her every time she's here, so that oil and dirt has been in her hair for months sometimes.
Her teeth are yellow, look up beaver teeth, you see how yellow they are? SD's teeth are the same shade. I help her sometimes, but I really try to stay out of it. But when she talks to me I want to vomit her breath is like death, literally like something is rotting in her mouth. Even after I brush her teeth is still there though. So I'm not sure if that foul smell is coming from her stomach or her mouth. I heard that if you eat nothing but crap that you can have foul stomach breath... but I don't know.... all I know is that is bad....

Wow...so similar...the

Wow...so similar...the younger one doesn't wash or rinse and refuses to use shampoo first. There's been many times I've made her get back in and redo her hair. And the one time I didn't tell my husband to speak up about brushing teeth I was screamed at by one of the kids saying I was trying to be their mom. I can't win but I do know I'm done trying. They may end up being the smelly kids. I know they have zero friends. Kinda makes me sad.

Seriously, even the poopy

Seriously, even the poopy underwear thing, I thought at first she was having accidents, but then I figured out, she just wasn't wiping her butt. Literally getting off the toilet without even using any toilet paper. She has the mushiest poop for a child, she it was like 1/2 cup of peanut butter in her underwear. Dh wanted me to put that in the washing machine with my clothes... ain't gunna happen, nope! I threw them away. I am not going to have poop particles swishing in and out of my clothes, no way no how!

I swear you are me in one

I swear you are me in one year! SD is 4'5" 120lbs. The Dr already told BM that she is in the 98th percentile of her BMI. BM takes SD to Justice and buys her size 14. My dad who is in the 28th percentile and 4'8" is in size 14. When we take SD to Justice she wears size 21 (yes the children sizes can go up to size 21 at Justice).

But we bought SD the same outfit (apparently) from justice, different sizes of course) it was a long tunic style shirt and pants. Well DH picks up add from school and as soon as SD comes in I see her wearing the outfit, except she's not wearing pants.... I was embarrassed for SD, as soon as she raised her arms the shirt lifted up high enough that you could see her underwear. This was last year, so she would have been 9. So you know she plays at recess, you could imagine that the entire class all got a peep show. And to think, she probably had crap in her undies.

So while SD's clothes are age appropriate, until BM doesn't make SD wear them big enough, or pants under her shirts....

Because she eats too much of

Because she eats too much of the wrong foods, and doesn't do enough physical activities. Me and my kids do a morning routine of stretches and a few Cardo moved to wake up after breakfast. I asked SD to join in (when we first moved in together) she did, and then began crying, so I stopped asking her to join us.

No, the doctor states that

No, the doctor states that she is in the 98th percentile of her BMI. I was 5 foot 7 inches and 120lbs when I was in high school, and was considered normal-chubby by the doctors. They said they'd like to see me at 115 pounds.

http://nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/R

http://nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Result.aspx?&dob=3/2/2005&dom=6/17/2015&age=... This is the center for disease control Web site when I put the information in it even states that SD is obese. I'm not being judgemental, this is the truth. Check if you don't believe me

This one is specific for

This one is specific for children

http://www.cdc.gov/healthywei

http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_cal...

I don't know if it changes the answer for your weight or not, but you're right it doesn't take into consideration of muscle mass.... but I can promise she has no muscle. She does no physical activities, she can't keep up with anyone her age. She complains about playing during recess because the teacher made her get up and play, or at least walk during recess (there is no sitting allowed at recess)