damned if you do, damned if you dont
SD14 has her 8th grade graduation tonight.
If my fiance goes, he will come home angry and miserable because she will ignore him and it will be all about her mother and her mother's family.
If he doesnt go, they will shit talk him for being a bad father, even tho they will secretly be happy he didnt show.
He is going to go, but only out of obligation and because people that he works with will be there for their kids, and it will go unnoticed if he isnt there (smallish town).
This whole thing is so sad, and i dont see it getting any better by the time "real" events roll around like her HS graduation (if she makes it, that is), her wedding, etc.
I hate this child so much. my fiance is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and i dont know what to do anymore.
i keep telling him to focus
i keep telling him to focus on himself, and not worry what others think. he is in a very dark place right now. im worried.
i will not attend this event. he has not asked me to go with him (if he did i would) but she is not worth my time and effort. i never want to speak to her again, to be quite honest. i havent seen her in over a month as she has not been coming over.
oh, and on the school
oh, and on the school calendar the event is listed for 6pm, he told me it was at 7pm. not sure if he just got it wrong or if they purposely gave him the wrong time.
Go with him, bring a bouquet
Go with him, bring a bouquet of flowers and a card for the kid....walk up to her together and congratulate her, and tell her how proud you are of her. The child will accept all of this and they love to be the center of attention and acknowledged. Do what is right by her....ignore the rest. Remember the universe is watching us...never mind the BM family and their judgement. He needs to be there, he belongs there, he has rights too! We put up with so much BS we deserve to share in the good moments too, they are few and far between!
except its a lie. we arent
except its a lie. we arent proud of her. she barely made it thru 8th grade, and was in all of the remedial classes. i dont believe in giving false praise.
if she was a loving,
if she was a loving, respectful daughter towards him, this would not be an issue. this should be a happy occasion for him, but how do you get on board for a child who yells, disrespects you, tells you she hates you and refuses visitation constantly, all at the encouragement of her mother?
i went to one event 2 years ago. a dance recital. she ignored us, and yelled at her father when he went up to her afterwards. yeah, that makes you want to go see your kid. since then, i have not attended any of her stuff, nor am i obligated to. my time is very valuable. if she cant be respectful, i have much better things to do with a 2-3 hour chunk of time on a weeknight.
Oh Snap....I also do not
Oh Snap....I also do not false praise! I would show up together, to through the motions, and check it off the list of those things that are expected from parents. Kinda like having to pay the electric bill, and grocery shopping. Look on the bright side, at least she passed and wasn't held back...that is a whole other nightmare/hell. Keep passing those grades sweetie...we need you to graduate, turn 18, and be on your way.
we are very, very concerned
we are very, very concerned she will not pass HS. not our problem, tho. BM will be more than happy to have her live at home forever, just like she's done with her parents. this is a woman who failed out of an associates' degree program. three times.
oh, yes, she is very dumb.
oh, yes, she is very dumb. the kid got her brains for sure. couple that with being allowed/encouraged to place friends and social life before school and its disaster.
If it's listed on the school
If it's listed on the school calendar for 6, I would think it's for 6. He should call the school today and double check the time. Sometimes times change. We just came back from a K program that up until last week was listed on the school.calendar as 6pm. Last week it changed to 9:30am.
He should go and then come
He should go and then come home. Say congrats after and that is it. He showed up. That she will remember no matter how PAS'd she is. DH did that for HS graduation and my SD has tortured him for years. Now they text occasionally and one lunch since August and she lives across from us.
It could be worse, for now, do what is right and he needs to hold himself up and move on.
I hate these situations I
I hate these situations I feel for you. We try never to give the Skids other family determine our moods
Hope he can get there soon.