High school.skids with vehicles
Does your SO and the bio parent let the skids come and go as they please once the oldest got a licence and a vehicle?
The oldest could have been driving for a while but she just started.
Now that she is driving, making choices, and getting backlash from BM...Some things are coming out.
Is this just her not liking them growing up?
DH and BM communicate on this site Our Family Wizard.
The oldest asked that I send a message saying 'the girls would be at their brother's baseball game no need to pick them up they drove themselves.' This ball field by the way is exactly .2 miles from pur home.
All hell broke loose. And the county cops were going to be called (mostly because she knew I sent the message and DH was at work, so slap me on the wrist I was trying to help because the girls didn't want to notify their mom themselves)
She made a huge deal that the location for pick up was changed an hour before.
So I called the girls at their brother's game and told them their mom didn't like the last minute change and they needed to come home and let her pick them up like usual.
And I sent another message saying, 'since changing the pick up an hour before .2 of a mile to the location of your other child was not helpful, nevermind. You can pick up the girls at the original location. They will not be driving themselves.'
She replied that she has no idea where her girls are at and is contacting the police....
Really....?
All I can say is that OSS stb
All I can say is that OSS stb 19 got his license revoked in less than a year after getting it.
It appears to me that BM was
It appears to me that BM was upset because she felt you made a decisions and her book she doesn't feel you are entitled to make decisions concerning her kids...."how dare you take authority over her" type thing. Does that make you in the wrong? no! It just means BM has some real dominance issues. Husband's ex would do the same over and over again. What sh couldn't get thru her narrow minded thick head was that husband had full custody which meant I became the full time mom to this boys. She kept telling them that their dad should take care of ______, go to your dad for ______. I think in her head I was supposed to be the nanny. Sorry but when you are out in a position to parent a child full time you have to make the calls, especially when the children are small. There is no room to wait permission from bio parents. husband and talked plenty, I wanted to make sure we were on the same page and we made decisions together but BM was way in left field. These are the BM that create trouble in step families. She cannot share her children and more than likely she cannot allow her children to love you, most unfortunate. For her it is about control and what she wants for herself and not what is best for her children. This is very selfish behavior on the part of the BM.
I agree, you overstepped by
I agree, you overstepped by contacting the BM. You should have made you h or significant other (whatever he is to you) call her. If they turn out to get Introuble with the law it is not on you but either h or BM. Now if vehicle is in your name or h which I don't know why it should be then you have power to take it away and I would. I wouldn't have someone putting my finances at risk. Why are you trying to be these girls mother when you are just a step mother? This is going to backfire in your face.
The vehicle the oldest girl
The vehicle the oldest girl drives is my husband and my car.
All communication with BM is to be on the parenting website Our Family Wizard. My husband was at work and couldn't communicate information for the kids which is why they asked me to. The girls were walking out the door and getting in the car to go and hour before their mom was to pick them up.
So, yes. I did communicate information on the site for my stepdaughters when my husband couldn't.
so she drives a car in your
so she drives a car in your name making you sole responsible and you still have to report to BM.. Nope! If they are responsible enough to drive and have a phone and they want BM to know then they should tell her not you. You did that deed out of the goodness of your heart because they are not your kids. She wants to get pissy then let her provide them a car and be sole responsible because your h can't, he is busy earning a living and child support.
For instance: I agree to watch sd11 when husband works a day on his weekend. I do not call or let the BM know what we do, it's none of her business. I do however let my SD make choices. If she says her BM dont allow her drink Mountain Dew Or watch a certain program I do not force her to do such out of showing a little respect for BM as a mother myself I would want that back. If I see double standards being pulled like sd says BM gives her energy drinks and watch x rated movies then I'm gonna watch whatever the fuck I want and buy her a Mountain Dew. Haha
That's why I was thinking BM
That's why I was thinking BM was wigging out a bit.
DH actually has custody, she gets visitation-(and does not pay child support)
She may be worried that if the oldest is driving herself and the other two they have freedom to come and go as they please in DH and my car. They are not under her rule of thumb.
I am wondering if the oldest girl feels this too. She is almost 18. It will be interesting to see her relationship develope with her mom after she no longer "legally" is forced to stay the exact amount of hours and has a car to come and go....her brother is going to be driving soon too, so this will all get very interesting very quickly. BM's actions are going to catch up.
Oh another woman is raising
Oh another woman is raising her kids..I have seen this before with my sister, niece and nephew. You do not have to tell BM a damn thing. Atleast you are keeping the piece. I hope you don't later resent your h for the kids actions. My niece turned 18 and moved back in with her BM. She doesn't do shit now and is mental. My nephew is on drugs. You ever heard the saying 'can't have two botches in the same kitchen' well that is exactly what it is. Two bitches in the same kitchen will ruin a cook recipe.
okay, I get that BM and DH
okay, I get that BM and DH must use OFW for communication, but I am guessing the girls are certainly old enough to text Mom and say "we wanna blah blah blah stupid teenage stuff", right??
You gotta teach them to handle their own business with their mom.
But if it has to do with a
But if it has to do with a pick up it has to be documented on that site..
Any other day time whatever stuff thats kid and mother stuff.
That I get and you are totally right and I would.
But if the kids were not there at pick up and no one was at home at pick up and nothing was documented onthat site?
Better believe BM would have had a field day and the cops would have been involved and her "parental visitation would have been denied" because an adult did not make sure the minors were at the appropriate place nor notify her of a location change.... she is high conflict enough to do that.
That's why DH had the judge go to this web site for documentation.