My New Years Resolution
After the actions of MSD the last few months and then reading the board here alot I realize MSD will never accept me and will continue to use me and treat me like crap if I allow it. So my New Years Resolution is to disengage. If they are going to act like I'm an invisible stepmom then I will be sure my time, energy, and money is invisible too!
I have blocked MSD on Facebook so I can't see her annoying constant post about her and DH and their "family bond". She wasn't on my friend's list but if I posted anything that I tagged DH in she would then start posting to DH's page about their love and bond for each other. If she can't see me and I can't see her then this stops me from having to deal with it. I didn't block the steps but if they start crap up I will block them too!
I won't care what they are doing. It's now DH's job to deal with inviting them and paying for anything. If they are having a party or "family dinner" I will make alternative plans for myself and won't sit at home waiting for DH.
It's time I swept the toxic out of my life! All the steps are married adults there is no need for me to engage with them.
I am so thankful to SD!! Yes,
I am so thankful to SD!! Yes, I really DID write that! LOL I am thankful because SD inspired me to not allow people to bring toxicity into my life. If it had not been for SD I would have never joined Steptalk and take my life back.
Thanks to this site, I have learned the fine art of disengagement. This makes dealing with toxic relatives (such as my Mother) a heck of a lot easier. I no longer supply emotional fuel nor do I invest mental energy for sadistic enjoyment. I have released the hope that they will eventually see the light.
I have made big strides in forgiving my DH for not placing our marriage first priority for many years. I have actually gained compassion for DH unintentionally making himself a Disney Dad. He has, in the last five years, remained with me, sacrificing rejection by SD.
And I owe this all to SD. So if there are any resolutions to make for the New Year, it is to carry on with the wonderful gift of knowledge that I have received from all of you and 'pay it forward' to those who are just beginning the struggle.
Thank you to the managers and participants of this site! I am happy today and looking forward to further growing as a loving individual. Happy New Year to all!!!! (((HUGS)))
My New Years resolution:
My New Years resolution: "Keep it between the lines". I have made so much progress this past year; all I want to do is keep it on the High Road and Between The Lines.
I also would like to say; without this site I would be a mental case. Disengagement comes in so many different forms. I made some mistakes in my disengagement, the past six years; but I am learning, from all of you here, how to correct the mistakes and maintain my efforts. My life is getting back to what I knew as "normal". I am myself more every day and I credit ALL to this sight and my SD's nasty actions, which led me here.
Happy New Year to everyone! Lots of ((((hugs)))).
Disengaged from skids for
Disengaged from skids for over 2 years and loving it .
My priority is myself , my relationship with DH and my pets . Love the " invisible " money comment lol . Didn't spend a dime on skids this year ( or last year ) for Christmas , feels great . I'm saving up for my dream vacation in 2017 .
New year, new chapter in your
New year, new chapter in your life. It's taken three years but I've taken skid #'s out of my phone (used the excuse of a iphone update glitch that erased their #'s), let DH do invites, buy gifts, be the host, worry about feeding them, pick up after gskid visits and so on. Last time ss30 was here I greeted him with pleasantries, listened to him yammer on for about 3 minutes then went about doing my own thing. ss26 brought sgs2 and step sgs7 by and I was out and did not rush home to dote on them. It's been extremely freeing to let him completely deal with HIS children and grands.
I agree. I am married to a
I agree. I am married to a lovely man, his grown children not so much. I decided after an annual event I accompanied him on last year that I would not be repeating it this year. Had the lousiest time ever. Much of it is that I do not find his family warm towards me. I appreciate that this site exists, I am not alone. So, although he is totally at home with these functions, it is okay that I may not be and it is also okay that I do something I enjoy during those times. I have boundries by which people will treat me, these do not disappear because they are "family". It is my experience that I have done nothing wrong, I cannot control how people choose to act, I can control whether I will be exposed to it or not. Thank you for posting some of the experiences that you do. It is great to find that these experiences are not unique to my situation.! Everyone, have a wonderful new year.
I agree. I am married to a
I agree. I am married to a lovely man, his grown children not so much. I decided after an annual event I accompanied him on last year that I would not be repeating it this year. Had the lousiest time ever. Much of it is that I do not find his family warm towards me. I appreciate that this site exists, I am not alone. So, although he is totally at home with these functions, it is okay that I may not be and it is also okay that I do something I enjoy during those times. I have boundries by which people will treat me, these do not disappear because they are "family". It is my experience that I have done nothing wrong, I cannot control how people choose to act, I can control whether I will be exposed to it or not. Thank you for posting some of the experiences that you do. It is great to find that these experiences are not unique to my situation.! Everyone, have a wonderful new year.