O/T Calling people Aunt or Uncle
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What made me think about this is SS recently visit BM's sister and met her new BF. Sister and Bf are 20 years old and have not been together long however, he was introduced to SS as his new Uncle. The odds of this "Uncle" being his uncle for long are small. I personally don't introduce anyone my brother (who SS calls Uncle cause my kids do) is dating as the Aunt. Maybe if they were dating for years.
How do you all handle kids meeting signification others of family members? Does the amount of time they have been together make a difference? Does the age of the family make a difference?
Yup that is horrible. I am
Yup that is horrible. I am sorry
He is 7. I feel bad for him
He is 7. I feel bad for him because he is introduced to people as family then they disappear out of his life. Even his actually family has done this.
We have a family friend that he calls Aunt and Uncle but I have knows her 12 years and DH knew him 6 years. (We both knew the couple before we met) They are our sons Godparents. But everyone else is Mr. or Mrs.
I see you being an Aunt to a
I see you being an Aunt to a long term kids friend as normal and fine. The only issue I have is that his new "Uncle" and Aunt are young and have not been dating very long
Growing up I never met my Uncles Girlfriends the only one I met is now my Aunt but I did not meet her till they were engaged
^^This^^ My SGD-12+ has lots
^^This^^ My SGD-12+ has lots and lots of "aunts/uncles/cousins." It is unfamiliar to me and I've thought it was a bit crazy since few are biologically or maritally related.
One day, I sat down with SO and SGD and had her diagram & identify bio family members, married-to's family members, step-family and ex-step family members w/their children, serial live-in mates PLUS the dozen or so honorary family friends/acquaintances. I'm reasonably smart and I could not keep them straight at all. This girl had a "family tree" that had more branches and spin-off trees than a national forest.
The bio-dad/SM changed churches and SGD lost a bunch of aunts/uncles/cousins and is gaining another group. Blurry lines.
I don't know if it's a cultural thing or a socio-economic thing.
This is not like Echo's sense of 'Aunt Echo' who is a close family friend over time --- a resource to the nuclear family. This is a much more fluid title for folks who flow in/out within months.
LOL,being Latin great
LOL,being Latin great aunts,uncles,cousins and extended family are usually called Tia's and Tio's (aunt/uncle)
I'm an only child so, one of my bff's and her husband are refered to aunt and uncle. (They are Hispanic)
My in laws were appalled. I had to explain it. I ended with,"my bff is more of an aunt than their "real" aunt."
As far as a bf or gf having that title, No!
yup that is weird
yup that is weird
Something I wish I'd started
Something I wish I'd started when I was only dating my now DH, is having his DD call me "Miss" and my name. And frankly, after we were married, she could call me Mrs and my last name. I SO regret being young and naive and setting myself up for a serious lack of respect by this now budding teenager.
What happens when those
What happens when those people split up?
SS was introduced to his
SS was introduced to his Aunts bf as his Uncle. They are 20 so odds are they will not be together forever so what happens when they split up?
I just only introduce people
I just only introduce people to my kids that I trust to be a stable part of their lives. But we are in a small town and these are people I grew up with. I just can't imagine introducing my brothers girlfriend to my kids as their aunt. His girlfriends have always been introduced as his girlfriend not their aunt
Long term I think it will
Long term I think it will hurt him this is not the first and probably not the last person he is told is part of his family then disappears suddenly when there is a fight or a break up. (this happens with his real family members on his mom's side as well) They then act like that person doesn't exist until they make up then poof they are back involved in everything.
Pacific islander cultures do
Pacific islander cultures do this. Most older relatives and any adults are referred to "Auntie" or "Uncle." While on Oahu I was called Auntie by random local kids and young people. When we lived there it caught on and most people on the bases had their kids calling their friends "Auntie and Uncle" so and so. It died out when we came back to the mainland but for the time being it was really cool.
I've known families that call
I've known families that call family friends "aunt" and "uncle".
I think we culturally feel it is a term of endearment for someone close (like a sibling of the parents) but many other cultures don't take it so literally...
I wouldn't sweat it....
We all have different
We all have different standards. To me:
Brothers, sisters, brother in law, sister in law -- automatically aunt and uncle. Otherwise you are saying they are not family. If I marry your brother or sister and I am not aunt or uncle to your kids, then you are telling me I am not family - and if I am not family it is highly unlikely I develop a relationship with your kids. I am not going to audition to be a relative.
My closest friends were called aunt and uncle by my children. Other adults were Mr and Mrs.
Brother's girlfriend of the week, sister's girlfriend of the week - not aunt or uncle. Long term relationship - yes. Engaged - definitely yes. Married - absolutely.
Duplicate
Duplicate
Here it is Auntie and Uncle
Here it is Auntie and Uncle for all adults. It's a sign of respect.
Meh, I don't know. My family
Meh, I don't know. My family does not use the terms aunt/uncle at all. I mean when describing my relationship to a person I will say "this is my aunt so and so" but we do not call relatives "aunt so and so" we just use their first names. I don't know why, my family has never done that. Maybe because there were always so many of them. My mom was one of eleven and now they are all married and all but three of them have kids and it just gets too complicated.
DH's family does use aunt/uncle so and so when referring to people. Since my family doesn't use the terms it always sounds oddly formal and strange to me. I don't know, it's just what they do but it strikes me as odd.
I'm not sure why the aunt/uncle monikers are still in such wide usage. I mean I don't say "Grandma Sally" or "Cousin Stephen." Why would I say "Aunt Nancy?" Why are the aunt/uncle terms used while none of the others are?
Some families do use cousin
Some families do use cousin and grandparent names with a first name.
My friend is actually called Grandma Sally.
I've also heard Grandma Jones used to differentiate her from Grandma Smith in conversation with others. In talking directly to them it was just Grandma.
My kids had three Uncle Bobs and a cousin Bob. In conversation at home cousin Bob was referred to as Cousin Bob. Uncles were referred to with aunt name in home conversation - Aunt Joan' Uncle Bob if clarification were needed.
Everyone is different.