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How often is too often that a child is "sick" with a specific parent

Stepmom09's picture

SS was "sick" again over the weekend with BM. Urgent care said he was fine and sent him home. SS goes to the doctor almost every week he is with BM. If he isn't sick then her other child is sick.

BM never takes SS to the same Urgent care and conveniently he is never able to get in to see his doctor.

At what point do you say something?

hereiam's picture

Munchhausen by Proxy.

Years ago, BM gave my SD an OTC that she KNEW SD was allergic to so that she would have a seizure. She did this in hopes of getting DH to go back to her. Luckily, it did not become an ongoing thing.

Let_therebepeace's picture

Is SS missing school? And same question as above...Is there a CO? If so and DH has rights to school records, then he should get a copy of attendance records & keep a copy each school year. That was a major factor when my DH filed for COC, SD missed 52 days in one school year & SS missed 23 days in half a school year. There were some other issues in the COC, but when BM couldn't produce 75 Dr. excuses it was pretty obvious the other issues were going to be just as easy for DH to prove against her.

DrowningAnchor11's picture

Does your CO say anything? FDH's parenting agreement states that unless the child is in the hospital or has a doctor's note stating that the child is too sick to be removed from the custodial parent's house, parenting time cannot be missed because of the child being sick. BM used to do this with my SD. But eventually it got out of hand (keeping her home for a cold or for seasonal allergies) and FDH stopped letting it be an excuse. Told her if she's sick, he'll take care of her at his house, but it wasn't a reason for skipping his parenting time.

Stepmom09's picture

It is always that he has diarrhea or strep. It is so strange the kid is with us 50% of the time and never has diarrhea but at her house it is almost twice a month. The strep thing she will take him to 2 urgent cares in one weekend until someone gives him meds. The diarrhea she has had him put on meds twice for being exposed to her other child that had something contagious.

DazedandConfused19's picture

There is always something "wrong" with my SD when she is with BM...every single time. She is rarely sick at our house, but there is always something wrong when she is with BM.

Stepmom09's picture

How do we start this? Possibly request we all only use one urgent care or his actual doctor.

Stepmom09's picture

Military insurance so she keeps one all the time and DH/ my id work when we take him. Most kids don't have one only if parents aren't together.

LAMomma's picture

We only get the skids every other weekend but it's common for the 6 year old to miss school the next day or various other days throughout the week when she was fine the night before. Her school records from last year were disappointing to say the least and I imagine this year is the same.

Our lawyer told us they basically don't care unless she fails a grade or truancy is down the mom's throat for missing so much. However since she's only in Kindergarten I think it's not taken as seriously which sucks. The only reason we know about the missing school is because my husband gets a phone call from the school every time she misses or is late for school.

She also keeps pumping them full of allergy meds. I assume she gives it to them to make them sleep at night. She likes to give that PLUS a nice big dose of melatonin. She insists they need this allergy medicine even though they still have runny/nasty noses and coughs almost all the time. Obviously it isn't working. Also why the heck are you giving it to them literally right before they go to bed for 8+ hours? Wouldn't it be more effective in the morning?