So I have posted numerous times before in ref to my SD having problems with school and her really struggling. Well I have told the father that we were going to get the email from the teacher stating that the child was going to be held back unless significant improvement happened. We have 50/50 custody and at our house we are going above and beyond to get her to 1st grade reading level because right now she is only on a kindergarten level. We read at least 6 books a night, go over her sight words every night, buy special level reader books with her and really try to push her to do better. Well at the other house (2-2-3 schedule) they aren't even coming close to helping her improve. We know this because we have to keep a reading log for her school and they maybe do two books and one of those books they are reading to her. Anyways she has to go up 12 reading levels before she will be able to even graduate and we have been not so much checking up at the other house but just asking them to read more and the BM and BF went to mediation to discuss a better schedule because the schedule isn't working for her. She is in therapy once a week and has some other medical problems related to stress and etc.
But we went to our lawyer yesterday and because the other house is expecting a new born and this will be the stepfather's first time with a child below 3 we are worried even more about my SD homework getting done and her improving enough to go to 2nd grade.
Well our lawyer told us to let the chips fall and let everything hit the fan and just keep doing what we are at our house. So I am asking how does one not worry about the other house and let things happen just because we know that she would be better off in a consistent schedule. I don't want her to get held back, but she has only gone up one reading level in 2 nine weeks. So there is a lot of improvement that needs to be done before the school is over. Granted we have decided to put her in summer school and the teachers, reading specialist and principal have already recommended her for it as well. She doesn't have vision problems or a learning disability before anyone assumes.

There is just not consistent schedule from one house to the other. I am a stay at home mom. I have two other children. They are a single child home right now. And she is picked up other their days by numerous different people ranging from grandparents, SF, SF parents and brother. We have to redo her homework or do her homework in the morning before school sometimes when she gets dropped off. How does one just let go? I know we can't control what they do at their house, but that doesn't stop us from worrying about her and wanting things to be better. I may sound like a mean person and I am not by any means saying that her BM is a bad mom. But the child is struggling and we can only control our house. Our lawyer said that if she gets held back then we will have no problem winning full custody. But I don't want to play make up for her. And I know it will be traumatic if she ends up in the same grade as her little sister. My BD which will be what happens if she gets held back. That just isn't fair to her. This may just be a vent and no one will have any advice, but even the harsh reality of letting my SD be held back is scary for both her father and I.