SS Cell phone bill causing issues
Soooo, last fall, I talked to my husband about his son paying his phone bill that he should have been paying for the past 3 years. He said he would take care of it. Well, to date, he still has not paid and I gave my SD (who lives with him) and updated bill to give to him. I highlighted the amount due and put ASAP as well as stating that in the future the bill is due by the 1st of each month. My husband absolutely flipped out! He said that he was taking care of it and I had no right to do what I did and then he stormed off. I want nothing to do with my SS as he molested my daughter a few years ago. So I generally let my husband handle everything. Hopefully the SS pays up....but just kinda upset that my husband totally flipped out. My point was that he was not taking care of it like he had said....I would remind him every other week or so and he said he would get on it, but never did. We have all the other kids pay their share of the phone bill, which they do on time. Adult step kids are hard! I have 3 and only one of them I have a good relationship with. The others just use me. I am tired of it. I am not a stepping stone. But from reading others posts on this, the heart of the matter is that my husband lets it happen. Guess its counseling time, again. :sick:
Why isn't blending a family easy?! Our relationship is great...except for the issues with the kids. Which is huge when they come up.
Is the money to pay for SS's
Is the money to pay for SS's phone bill coming out of your pocket? If it is, stop contributing to it now.
This business of DH flipping out is a manipulation tool to shut you up - don't fall for it. Now he can throw you under the bus to SS and blame you for SS losing his phone. Pretty convenient, huh? DH has been saying he was going to take care of it and didn't. It's on him. Stand your ground. You don't have to say another word to DH about it other than you are not personally paying for SS's phone.
I think that if you feel used
I think that if you feel used stop contributing money that can be used against you. Pay only your share and no more. Seems that wakes up a lot of dh's to the fact they can't use you as an extra atm machine nor should you allow it.
You gave three years to sort this out, he hadn't despite all the other kids paying own bill. Was this ss the favourite or something?
As for other stuff glad you pressed charges on the shite- I don't know the whole story but surely dh should have been up there beside you disgusted the kid, one of his, would do this. I don't know the answer to that one.
I am however concerned about such a high level reaction to all this from him- surely he could have behaved a bit better and discussed like adult??
Overall what I am hearing is a lot of disrespect to you:
- you are ignored bullied shouted out you feel used and your daughter has been abused... I think you need to have a long think about situation and really consider staying vs going. I know I couldn't survive an environment like this.
I told my DH that I was going
I told my DH that I was going to cut off his phone if he didn't pay, and was told that I better not do that. Unfortunately, I am not working now due to being told that I have to watch my step grandchildren. So I cannot pay for my own plan, otherwise I would. I have suggested that each of the kids get their own plan....he was semi-receptive to that. If the SS doesn't pay by the 1st, I will make changes to his service and restrict his phone.
Why is SS not in jail for
Why is SS not in jail for molesting your daughter?
Press charges. NOW, before the statute of limitations runs out.
Purge society of that pervert and tell DH if he opens his mouth on the topic he is gone.
Grrrrr!
And drop SS's line from your cell plan. No pay, no service. End of story.
He received community service
He received community service and a fine. He was a minor at the time....
How old was SS and how old
How old was SS and how old was DD when the molestation happened?
I personally think adult
I personally think adult children should have their own phones and their own phone bills (all in their name).
I had a similar problem with my osd. My dh provided her phone before we got married. After we got married we still provided the phone and paid the bill for her. Shortly after we married osd was in college and during a summer break she & her boyfriend took an out of state vacation and during that week vacation she ran up a $200 phone bill. I was upset about it and my dh didn't like it but he said NOTHING to her. We just continued to provide her a phone. Osd then gets married and I tell dh that she needs to get her own phone. He quickly tells me that I need to be patient and that she would on her own go and provide her own phone. Well time goes by and osd has done NOTHING to get her own phone. A few months later my dh is checking on another phone plan and indicates he could ADD my osd's husband. WHAT!! I again tell him she needs to get her own phone. More time goes by and they had their first child and we were STILL provided the phone. I had a talk with my dh telling him that osd is married and has a child and it is TIME she got her own phone. Finally he lets her know that she needs to get her own phone (more time goes by but she finally gets her own phone but not before running up another large bill).
Your dh needs to allow his son to grow up. I think you dh is passive aggressive. He tells you he will have a talk with his son and does not. He had no intentions of taking care of anything and then when you get tried of waiting for him to do what he has said he would do time and time again, he gets angry that you do anything to take care of the problem. Stand your ground.
Good luck sweetie.
Thank you. That is my
Thank you. That is my plan....the kids need to get their own plan. We told them that if they were in college, we would pay their expenses, etc. Only one is still in college. This would force SS to get his own plan. Now I just need DH to enforce it.
I am not working now due to
I am not working now due to being told that I have to watch my step grandchildren.
Pardon? I don't think I read that correctly because that is absolutely ridiculous.
Nope, you read that
Nope, you read that correctly. At first I resisted and I got "talked to". So no job for me. He always tells me that I would do it for my daughter...well, he is correct, because my daughter is nice, polite and never takes advantage of me. My daughter is pregnant with her first child and I do plan on watching the baby...which is another reason why I felt I 'had' to watch SD kids. However, I did tell SD that she needed to find a daycare for them...they are very speech delayed (ages 2 1/2 & almost 5) and need a structured environment where they can get the intervention they need. We will see if she actually gets them help, I doubt it because she is in denial.
You would do it for your
You would do it for your daughter because she is your BIOLOGICAL CHILD.
You are in an abusive relationship OR you think so little of yourself that you allow a man to call all the shots. Why is that? Time for counseling for YOU.
Why is "talked to" in quotes?
Why is "talked to" in quotes? Is it a euphemism for physical violence of some sort?
What happens if you continue to resist a "talking to?"
You are not a child and you should be your DH's equal. He should not be giving you a "talking to" of any sort and you should feel free to ignore him when he does.
Your DH is not your dad and
Your DH is not your dad and you are not a child. He cannot TELL you what to do.
Go get a job - if you are afraid of DH's reaction I would guess he is abusive (verbally or physically?).
You are NOT obligated to watch anyone's children - even if you choose to watch your DD's baby that is up to you. This does not mean you have to watch SGkids too!
Please stand up for yourself or get out of this abusive - controlling relationship - it is not good for you.
I have recently started
I have recently started applying for jobs. I feel as if he was purposefully isolating me. Hopefully I will start getting some interviews soon.
Good for you Breezy - I am
Good for you Breezy - I am really happy to hear it. Good luck and I hope you find a job soon!