I really need your advice, what would you say, do and how would you act?
Let me start out by saying I really don't have a lot of issues with my SS17, he is very respectful, as much as a 17 year old can be. And I respect him back.
My real issue is with DH. My situation is the following. We've been married for 13 years, got married when I was 21 and he was 29. During these years we broke up and got together many many times, there is certainly a strong emotional connection. So I moved out several times and lived on my own and then we would reconcile and he would move in with me, while at all these times I would be the one paying 100% for all common expenses, like: rent, electrical, water, cable, groceries etc. I never made a big deal out of it, as I could afford it and thought that I would be paying all of it anyways if I was living by myself.
So finally we got back together for good 2 years ago and decided to buy a house, so we did, or should I say I did. As the trend continued the same way, I am 100% responsible for mortgage, all utilities, groceries, 80% of outings and of course all my bills like car note, cell phone, credit cards etc. So he basically has a free ride, always telling me how much more I make and how he wouldn't be able to afford any of it. But now since we got a house instead of 1 bedroom apartment we have all this room and his son is coming and staying with us 70% of the time, the rest of the time he is staying with my husband's father, as that's where he goes to school to. And again dont' have issues with SS, as he is very helpful with chores around the house and acts very polite, we have good communication as well.
But now my financial burden increased even more, as I have stepson I have to buy groceries for as well, he goes out with us I pay for everyone, buy him clothes here and there. My husband is not offering to reimburse me or chip in, again saying that I make so much more than him, which in all fairness I do, I am a contractor for oil & gas industry. But I bust my ass every single day to get where I am at, work 11-12 hours stressful days.
So now real turn, I am 38 weeks pregnant and about to have our baby in 2 weeks, I am still working, and will be till the day I deliver.
So I started having conversations with him about him helping me out somehow. As being a contractor I don't have FMLA or any other benefits, so I am planning to take 6 weeks off only and go back to work, assuming my company takes me back, cause by the law they really don't have to since I am a contractor.
So if I loose my job and have a brand new baby to take care of as well as all my regular bills:mortgage, utilities, health insurance, groceries.
That's how I described the situation to him last night, also offering how about he starts supporting me a little and his brand new baby-to-be. He spends a lot of his money now on my SS17, his son, because BM completely withdrew herself from the picture and may be sees her kid once every 2 months, given we live 20 mins from each other and of course no financial support. So my husband pays his son's car note, gas, school supplies, clothes and when I am not home takes him out to eat.
So far all baby stuff that we needed I paid for, again not a cent from my husband as he has his son to take care of. And then again usual excuse that I make more than him.
We got in a huge fight last night again over this money issue.
I told him several times that I can be left without a job at any point, given oil& gas market nowadays, everyone is getting laid off and what if I can't afford to pay for everything, he needs to start planning his finances better and may be ask for BM's share as well to elevate the burden. Cause so far I have a feeling the moment this baby arrives I'll be again 100% responsible for everything, as he has his other kid to take care of. So in some sense I feel like I will be a single mother when I have my husband and a father of my future child living with me.
What would you do guys, what would you say? As I don't seem to get my point across, and it all these conversations end up in screaming and breaking stuff. Should I ask him to leave when the baby arrives, cause sometimes I think it will be easier for me to deal with it this way. Even though I feel very guilty, because I'll be taking a dad from my baby's life.
I am so confused, tired and stressed out. Sorry for such a long post, but I don't have anyone I can talk to about it.