You are here

Visitation schedule?

mentalmama24's picture

Submitted by mentalmama24 on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:54am

Forums: 
Family Court

So sorry for all the frequent posts in this particular forum topic! There have been so many problems lately with BM and I find that so many people on steptalk have similar experiences. Anyways, BM kept SS overnight last night when she was supposed to return him at 7:30. I think this was the final straw for DH and he will be talking to our attorney later today. There have been a lot of changes since the final trial - BM quit job to avoid child support, claimed domestic violence on one bf, that bf got a restraining order on her, got a new bf who was arrested two years ago for drugs, and now has a case worker because she was reported to DHS for filthy living environment (not reported by us). And then the biggest thing is obviously her keeping SS past the court ordered times. DH and I are curious on what type of visitation to propose and want to make sure we don't propose something outrageous. Typically what kind of visitation would a parent like BM get? Right now she has one weekday every week for three hours and every other weekend Friday-Sunday.

mentalmama24's picture

Submitted by mentalmama24 on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 7:55am

Forgot to mention - DH doesn't think that we have enough evidence to file an ex parte order for emergency custody but I believe that we might since she kept him overnight last night.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 9:01am

Maybe not but if this is repeated behavior you certainly have enough to request a motion to find her in contempt.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 8:00am

Why didn't dad just drive over and pick the kid up? Assuming dad is the CP, he could have called the police as well.

mentalmama24's picture

Submitted by mentalmama24 on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 10:38am

DH has primary legal and physical custody. He was at the pickup spot and BM was not there. DH emailed her twice with no reply and so went to the police. The officer called her phone and it was disconnected. She eventually replied to DH's emails stating that she had been at the pickup spot and that no one was there. She's done this before where she didn't show up and claims she was there. Having the police call her is usually the most they will do. Most of the time they refuse to even meet with DH.

mentalmama24's picture

Submitted by mentalmama24 on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 10:50am

I don't mean anything by the 'we,' I'm just used to saying 'we' about everything since I view us as kind of a team. I've been very involved in the court process but behind the scenes. I don't communicate with BM at all or anything like that.

I'm not sure what our state's regulations are on keeping a child overnight against the court order. I just know that it is contempt but again, not sure if it's enough for an emergency order. DH has not asked for background check on BM's newest man yet but he has one arrest document for him that he found online. He was arrested for using meth, marijuana, and some prescription drugs. The pictures that DH received of her house are horrific - animal feces literally everywhere, garbage, unwashed laundry - it was disgusting. BM claims that DHS did not find anything but that is because she refused to allow them into her home. DH is very supportive and understands that I don't deal with BM problems very well. I am in counseling currently for these issues as well as others. Thank you for the concern! Smile

mentalmama24's picture

Submitted by mentalmama24 on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 10:44am

The main purpose isn't exactly to lower her visitation, but more so to hold her accountable for her actions and figure out a way to prevent them in the future. Not really sure if much can be done about it besides contempt charges, which I've heard is really rare. BM's second son's dad filed an ex parte emergency order in December and I know that their visitation schedule only allowed her two days out of the week for only a few hours and she had to stay in their state. She now has Saturday at 12:00 to Sunday at 4:00 with that son, which I believe is a pretty minimal visitation schedule. DH and the rest of the family is worried that she will withhold SS one of these days and take him out of state Since she's done this in the past.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/25/2016 - 9:15am

In our blended family adventure we dealt with this by shredding the SpermClan publically, socially, and in their church community.

My DW's HSBFF's father is the former chief county deputy and the former city police chief. Our experience with this occurred before he retired so DW had a direct hotline to someone who would make things happen quickly.

When the "Oh, we thought visitation ended next Wed not this Friday or oops we missed the flight." crap would start we would have the kid picked up by uniformed officers whereever the SpermClan happened to be. In church, at family reunions, at public family dinners, etc....

SpermGrandHag was mortified when we would embarrass her publically. SpermGrandHag don't like to be embarrassed in front of her pastor and the church lady's lunch bunch. }:) }:) }:) }:) }:)

It was always interesting to me how we never failed to get the kid on a plane on time for SpermLand visitation but the SpermClan periodically though regularly could not manage to get him home on time. Invariabley they would try to claim that a canceled or missed flight would not allow them to get him on a plane for several days. We always managed in short order to have him booked on a flight leaving within a few hours. As he got older even the Skid got tired of their pathetic manipulative attempts to extend visitation. A few times he called a cab to come pick him up from the SpermIdiot's or SpermGrandHag's house, called us to move money to his debit card, and got to the airport to catch his plane home on time when the SpermClan adults were telling him his flight was canceled.

No quarter, nail her ass to the wall.

Have fun!