Facebook Friendliness
So the wife of DH's college roommate (who I really get along with and been friends with for 4 years) has remained friends on Facebook with DH's ex even after they got divorced (6 years ago). I didn't really think anything of it, but I did make a sassy comment to her once asking her why and she said she just likes to snoop… OK no big deal. Well BM just posted a first day of school photo of SS17 and I saw this friend make 2 comments followed by BM commenting back about how she should enjoy time with her little kids, time flies by… with a smiley face. Now I probably shouldn't care, but this friend has had numerous in-depth conversations with me about how horrible of a parent she was how crazy she is and always was and they always knew she was bad for DH. So seeing her comments really bothered me.
Now we are supposed to go visit them at the end of October and stay with them, and I can't help but feel a little hurt. And frankly, I'm not sure I want to go. Mostly because I do not like socializing with 2-faced people.
Now am I completely overreacting? Maybe just reading too far into it? I mean she can be FB friends with whoever she wants, but it really bothered me...
Thoughts?
I don't judge anyone - good
I don't judge anyone - good or bad on what happens on FB.
I have 100s of FB friends - many of whom I wouldn't recognize if I tripped over them. I have even had "friendly conversations" with some of these people. It's meaningless.
It is a trust issue, if you
It is a trust issue, if you feel you cannot trust her....she is not your friend.
I would unfriend her and
I would unfriend her and never mention or get involved in it. I am on FB to stay in touch with my Sister, who lives in Europe, my brother who lives 1500 miles away, and many other family and friends that keep my day bright.
If there is anything, and I mean anything, on FB that is disturbing to me, I delete it, unfollow the person that keeps doing it, and I ignore the negative comments and delete them, so I don't have to see them again. I have unfriended people, they never know when you do it. I have blocked my SD56 and SGD31; it took them almost a year to realize I did it; then SD56 went whining to DH. My reply: "my fingers must have slipped', and I smiled and walked off.
FB, in my book, is fun and when it turns vicious, I'm out of there.
Good luck!
All she said was "I can't
All she said was "I can't believe this!!!" "Seems like he was just a tiny baby!" Not a big deal, however given our previous discussions about her and the situation I was surprised. I guess I have a hard time with it because I don't communicate/socialize with people I don't care for- FB or not.
I do agree with sueu2. And
I do agree with sueu2.
And if I can offer a bit of general advice, it's this:
There are so many other things in life that are more joyful or more tragic and all are more important.
Life's focus should not be what happens on Facebook.
It depresses me to no end on how much social media has impacted our basic human connections. There are positives, to be sure. But the negatives are increasing, IMO.
Things that were minor become huge, people who should have virtually no impact on our lives become main actors, and small slights or comments drain emotional energy that is better used elsewhere.
I can understand maybe
I can understand maybe feeling a little betrayed, but I also agree with 2Tired.
Your friend may not actually like BM and is just staying on good terms with her for whatever reason. I would just avoid her page.
Social media often brings out
Social media often brings out the "real" character, or lack there of...of many people, I have learned.
No I am not friends with BM.
No I am not friends with BM. She tagged SS17 and I am friends with him so it popped up. I haven't spoken to her in 5 years since we had to get a restraining order against her. She is a volatile person and has been manipulating and PASing the boys against their dad for years. So I do not make small talk with her, to say the least...
Block BM and it will all
Block BM and it will all disappear.
BM probably is a POS parent.
BM probably is a POS parent. However, the friend's FB comments are not two faced. What the friend and B discussed is true. It goes fast.
If the friend is your friend why would you let her less prominent friendship with BM prevent you from visiting? My wife and I have many close college friends who we visit with periodically. Those visits nearly always include discussing what has been going on in each of our lives (theirs and ours) and updates and discussions on the lives of other members of our college friends group that each of us has seen or spoken with recently.
I am not sure what the issue is that you are reacting to.
We all know what people call
We all know what people call Facebook so I would not concern myself with it too much but I would be careful what I said to her about the BM. Or just ask her, considering your previous conversations with her about BM, what is up. Does she consider her a friend or what?
I really don't understand people. DH's family (not his parents, they are deceased) HATED his ex-wife but then were friends with her and then they weren't, but now they are FB friends with her, but not really. It gets so old. I was friends with his family before I ever met him and they hated her. I don't have FB but I couldn't imagine being FB friends with someone who I hated.
I tolerate them now (his family), but I am not close to them like I used to be. So, you might have to tolerate her for your DH but don't confide in her, anymore.
The first tine I realized
The first tine I realized things were really going downhill with SD, our daughter brought her laptop to me with a post to me she has written about me, and coming to a party I had invited her to in my home! How much she dreaded it and would not be able to keep her mouth shut. (No, that is a fact)!
Sometimes FB hurts, but it does make some (those who lack character), more transparent.
For that, I am thankful. When you write about me publicly, I get you do not like me.
Why do people "FRIEND" people
Why do people "FRIEND" people who are not true, loyal trusting friends?
UNFRIEND her, heck unfriend everyone who is not there for you. And stop accepting friend requests from anyone because you think you should.
Keep your circles tight and meaningful.