C-noloveforstbxh UPDATES 7/22 Afternoon

To answer your questions here is a brief update:

1. I went to my house yesterday and Princess Powersulk was there leaning against the garage crying. Her father, mr Chokesalot, sent her there for her "things" and was acting very angry and agressive with her. I filled her in on the facts. She hugged me and told me she was sorry and that she loved me. I just said that "hes not the man we knew and loved, hes on drugs". She knew and understood. I asserted that the online postings she saw were all lies and that hes mentally unwell.

I did not let her in the house for "her" things because I needed a clear head and dont want anyone inside until I know more about processes and logistics. Im used to just putting stuff outside and its carted away. The she texted dad telling him I did not let her in, thereby enraging him, and then she called the police. I drove away quickly. She called and texted me that her father was "forcing" her to be there, "forced her to call the police and lie to them stating that she heard banging inside" (probably to incite them to bust the door in or whatever... didnt work they just called me and asked if I was there and I wasnt I was driving to courthouse). I just told her that its in her best interest to keep her distance from all this and to not lie to police or anyone. I told her that something must be really important that he wants thats enraging him to not have it. I mean really, "her things" have been sitting around for over a year, hes not concerned about that stuff. She offered that it was a lock box in his room that he was really after. After much consideration, its his property. If there are drugs in there it would help my case a LOT, but ultimately I dont have the key to it, and its his property. I let her know that I was relinquishing it when I can.

2. This brief update is getting long. Hang in there it gets better. I drove to the courthouse and got there in time to pick up paperwork. I currently have an emergency protection order in place which he is honoring, and Im now going for a temporary restraining order and move out order. Im driving back there today (7/22) for more in-depth help in filling it out. Work has been amazing in giving me the flexibility, as well as empathy.

3. I rekeyed all the locks, so any extra front door keys out there in the world will not work anymore. Ive got my front door, bedroom door, his room door, and the garage door rekeyed.

4. I am looking into getting the ring system. My parents have it, and I dont have the time to research all the different packages and systems I just need something super easy for now. And then will continue with more security systems in place. Any advice in this department will be written down in my notes log and definitely followed.

5. Im taking it day by day. Our new routine is that he has his flying monkey friends request things of me. I pack them up and set out on the front porch. Last night I did have someone come over - a friend who was getting car work done. A single dad with his own current battle with crazy over his young son. He needed some tools specific to his vehicle and the key to it. Crazy Chokester claimed it was "somewhere" at the house. We looked together, nothing. He didnt recognize any of the tools needed. So I closed the door to the garage and listened as he called directly. He then was told by MC Hammeronher - "AHA! The key is with ME!" Doesnt hurt that this guy is 10 years younger and really cute and likes me. But I resisted his considerable charms and eventually sent him on his way and locked the door.

6. I know where he is currently living, its his friend who went to prison for killing his woman because he crashed his car while high on meth. And fled the scene, and fled the state, but returned and was finally arrested. So no accountability there, but he claims he has lots of guilt. so I know where to send for serving any paperwork. But hopefully in a few hours will know how to file in any circumstances.

7. I have several folks that I check in with on a regular basis a few times during the day and night. "Im alive today!" I have a "find my" connection with a trusted woman friend so she knows where my phone is (always with me) at all times I check in with my parents.

8. Tonight (7/22) he has requested some additional clothing, and specific shoes and watches and stuff (he needs his good stuff to charm the women he will need to use, as I was a complete package, so he will be needing more than one to hopefully replace me...), plus car parts items. I need to research what an axle looks like. He is sending over a friend (another flying monkey) that seems sympathetic. He was partying with this one the night/morning of the attack. I told him my story of the attack. They are still friends so, there you go, out of even the outliers of my trust circle. I will text him to let him know when he can come over, and pick stuff up outside the house.

Whew.

Peace.

CLove's blog
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Comments

I knew that freaking

I knew that freaking powersulk would pull that BS. Do not speak to her again. BLOCK.

Please stop letting these people in the house. It could be a ploy for stbx to barge in. We all know he's painting you as the bad guy and he's the victim and one of those fools could fall for his BS and be an accomplice to more hurt and damage. He can submit a list to your attorney, who can forward it to you. His crap and powersulk's can be picked up at the police station. NO EXCEPTIONS.

If you are letting that jackwad come over, you make sure that police are present because...EMERGENCY PROTECTION ORDER. Frankly, he should NOT come anywhere near that house.

You are too trusting and softhearted, dear CLove. You must be much more careful!

Agree with Aniki.....

You are too trusting. STOP. You are doing great by filing ROs, changing locks, cameras, etc. You need to make some serious changes in how you are interacting with the "other side."

First, no SKs at your home. Do NOT say a word to them about any personal stuff especially with you and the Ex. Trust me...they ARE your enemy and will use anything you say against you. Do not believe a word they say. Again, they are your enemy and are team Dad.

Second.....the Flying Monkey Dudes. They can no longer land at your home. Gather as much of his stuff as you can for the last and final pick up until you can get your ROs in place. Have the police there when the Flying Monkey arrives...for YOUR safety and to advise these nut cases you mean business. Have the police officer tell him it's the final pick up until the courts clarify things. Good Lord, your ex is living with a man who murdered his wife! Your ex has nothing but bad associations that you NEED to stay away from. He could easily hide in the car of the Flying Monkey.

Stop taking any and all calls from the Other Side. Keep the texts and voice mails for evidence but do NOT engage. Your ex could have killed you....he deserves ZERO empathy or concern. No tools? Oh well...your consequence.

You need to send a clear message to your Ex by your actions (police, ignoring contacts)...it's over and the law is involved. Stay away from me...you, your kids, and your friends.

Best to you, CLove. Take care of yourself.

^^Yep. All of that.

Every time you interact with one of his people you are giving

Every time you interact with one of his people, you are giving him what he wants - control over you. Please, please, stop doing this. Do not accept any calls from any of them. If anyone shows up at your house, including either of the steps, call the cops. The easiest way to handle this is to gather all of his things and have one person pick them up once. The other way to handle is to let him come with the cops so they can do a "civil standby" while he is there. He gets to come once, and that is it. Make sure you have someone there with you if you decide to go this route.

You are under no obligation to interact with his friends or to give him his stuff. One of the consequences of trying to kill someone is you don't get to go back and get your things. Please understand that him getting his stuff is his problem, not yours. You are continuing to put yourself in danger by letting any of his friends in your house.

Please check all the fine

Please check all the fine print on your protection order, you may be violating the conditions by allowing his "people" to contact you. The last thing you want is to invalidate it or maybe see the constraint order refused because you're not taking this seriously. STOP ALL CONTACT WITH ALL OF THEM NOW.

Agree with all of the above.

Agree with all of the above. Don't let any of his "people" in. For all you know, they could be following his instructions to unlock a window for him. "Excuse me....can i use the restroom?" Goes in and unlatches window. He might even convince them that he means no harm, just needs to get his stuff. Do not trust them.

Hmm? No mention that you have pressed charges?

DO IT!

NOW!

No tender, nice, caring CLove, None.

END HIM!

Before he ends you.

Stop making excuses. "He's on drugs." So what? He is a violent, woman beating, cheating, convict POS whether he is stoned or not. Stop trying to polish that turd with being nice. He may have been all shiny and appealing when you met him. But even then he was just a shiny POS. Not a pleasant thing to recognize I know. Though the sooner you admit that has been what he is from day one, the sooner you establish your ability to maintain the boundaries necessary to protect yourself.

Be smart. Be ruthless.

Take care of you.

Kind hearted beautiful amazing people should never sacrifice themselves for shit like this guy. Shit begets shit. Shit congregates with shit. His spawn are shit. Never forget that. His friends are shit. FFS, he is living with a murderer.

Any of them that contact you on his behest, are shit. Period. Dot. Force all contact through your lawyer. No access to your property, no recovery of "his" things. Once he is in prison, you can pile it all on the driveway and tell his spawn to come get his shit though make sure to have a LEO present when that happens.

Also, his mechanics tools, parts, watches are assets. Maintain control of all of it as negotiation leverage in the divorce. Hopefully, he will be once again convicted and in prison so the divorce can pretty much be as smooth as possible. Confirm with your pit bull to confirm. I don't want my advice to jeopardize any advantages for you.

No contact with him or anyone he engages as his effluent spewing mouthpieces. Have your PO extended to any proxies he may engage. If that is possible. Make it happen.

They are all collectively the enemy at the gate. You cannot even let them near your gate much less to your gate or FFS not in it under any circumstance that does not include LEO escort. None of them. Not the spawn, not the TT, not the friends. None of them. Ever. Under any circumstance, or for any reason. No matter how hart it plucks at your heart strings. Have a pic made of your brused and battered self and post that in a prominant place for you to see. Use that as your motivation to end him and all of them.

Be wary. Be diligent.

CHARGES!

END HIM!

END HIM!

Before he ends you.

100%

Unfortunately many men will show their true colors (ex exacting violence against women) when their egos are so fragile they can't accept "NO" or "I'm leaving this relationship because it's becoming toxic" or any form of perceived rejection .... and now the woman trying to leave her life is on the line

There are unsavory women abusing men who rightfully try to leave them a well

Neither is acceptable

Statistically speaking leaving a relationship is one of the most dangerous times for a woman especially

So protect YOURSELF the way he is most definitely looking out for himself only like how he was throughout the marriage and now.

No amount of being nice to this Ninja is going to help. Matter of fact not taking "ish" from him and using the law to hold him accountable is what he needs.

Unfortunately many men will

Unfortunately many men will show their true colors (ex exacting violence against women) when their egos are so fragile they can't accept "NO" or "I'm leaving this relationship because it's becoming toxic" or any form of perceived rejection .... and now the woman trying to leave her life is on the line

well d@mn

just read your other blog and saw he had the gall to put his crusty hands on you to harm you

That fool would have drew back some nubs ....

unfortunately I know toxic male behavior all too well ... they're pathetically predictable

hope you're okay and do what you can to protect yourself from him and his chaos

Please please

refrain from sharing your opinion about anything to do with STBXH with your ex-SD. By telling her he's on drugs you gave him ammunition to go after you for trying to alienate his daughter. Plus it just keeps the drama door wide open. The only way it's going to close is if you lock it and throw away the key.

Welcome to the crazy upside

Welcome to the crazy upside-down world of when a marriage in Step-Hell goes to Hell!

This is a cautionary tale.

Never forget: in a toxic, dysfunctional Step-Hell family, one rule reigns supreme—Blood is always thicker than water.

ALWAYS.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

EVER.

They operate like some 4th-world jungle tribe—constantly bickering, backstabbing, and emotionally cannibalizing each other like it's a national pastime.

And oh, they love it.

They'll scream, sob, and hurl furniture at each other—then smile through their crocodile tears and toast with sweet tea like it’s Sunday brunch.

But the second you—the outsider, the step-villain—dare to speak up (or gasp) fall out with Daddy Dearest?

That’s when the tribal drums start.

They drop their in-fighting, form a war party, and unite like Avengers—to destroy YOU.

Don’t believe that Powersulk ever cared for you – she’s most likely a sleeper agent.

Congratulations! You just became the common enemy.

Their real bonding moment.

Now watch—like clockwork—the OSD, the YSD, and hell, maybe even the ex-BM herself, will all come skipping back into Daddy Dearest’s arms now that C-love has been officially canceled.

Why the sudden reunion?

Because you, my friend, gave them the greatest gift of all: A common enemy. A scapegoat they can all rally around and hate on together. It’s basically their version of a family game night—except the game is “Blame the Stepparent,” and spoiler alert: you’re always it.

Truth is, I’ve read your posts over the years—how this man treated you like a doormat with a pulse—and you stayed.

Took it. Grinned and bore it.

And I’ll be honest… when I saw Powersulk finally turned 18, a little voice in the back of my mind whispered, “Hmm… now that he doesn’t need help raising his little gremlin, is Clove about to hit her expiration date?”

Turns out, yep.

You were the stepmom-shaped training wheels. And now that Druggie can pedal his own dysfunction?

He’s kicking you straight off the bike.

That man is clearly a user!

You deserve better!

^^^^Brilliant!

Sad but oh so true.

I wondered

the same thing. I have a cousin who is an absolutely gorgeous guy - on the outside. He always had a woman on the string who would take care of his kids so he didn't have to. He spent his time doing whatever he wanted, usually some kind of extreme sports that took up his entire weekends. If the woman finally got fed up and complain he would dump her and move in with some other woman.

I wouldn't trust any of his

I wouldn't trust any of his friends or his kids. Remember the video taping stuff.. Trust your own close friends and family only and don't take any calls, text messages or open the door for literally anyone that you didn't arrange to come by. Please be safe.

This is not great news..

This is not great news.. really. He is continuing to push into your space.. flying monkies.. wayward daughter... etc.. etc..

No adult (she is 18)... makes a decision to call the damn police unless THEY want to involve authorities.

What I see missing is your lawyer's advice too. GET ONE. I mean.. stop playing "errand mommy" for your abusive AH of a STBX.... and spend that time and energy getting lawyered up.. and follow their advice.

And... yes.. he is likely in violation of his temp RO by having all these people call you.. again your LAWYER will advise you how to deal.. AND.. your lawyer can be the conduit to all requests.

He is manufacturing reasons to stomp all over you... and your boundaries.. at this point.. as someone else said.. he is missing things.. then oh wellsie.. maybe he shouldn't choke his wife in the middle of the night!!!!

You are acting reasonable.. or what you think is reasonable.. this guy is NOT.. he and many of his compadres are mentally twisted from whatever substances they abuse.. they are not normal people.. they don't play by normal rules.. so stop being so dang accomodating!

I hope you have documented each and every contact from him.. whether they came from his mouth directly or not.

and.. the lockbox... well.. I don't know.. do you think your LAWYER might have an opinion on what to do with it? Oh.. maybe it's filled with thousand dollar bills.. that would pay the lawyer.. haha.. joint property and all... if it's drugs.. your LAWYER can advise you how to dispose of them.. you don't need that in your home right?

Maybe you do need to go on a seek and destroy mission in your home.. find out what is really under your own nose? (well maybe not the destroy part.. but the seek part... look around.. find things that will help your case...)

and finally.. LAWYER.. LAWYER .. LAWYER... you can't fix or deal with this on your own.. you probably are already making errors in what you say and do.. get yourself a LAWYER so you can win over this dud.

1. Like others have said, do

1. Like others have said, do NOT communicate with PPS or the other one. PPS is not your trusted friend. Those girls have been your enemy--their choosing.

2. The most dangerous time for a woman in a domestic violence situation is once she gets that protection/restraining order. This doesn't mean don't do it; it means be especially vigilant. Stop ALL communication with him, his spawn, his friends, his friends who say they are your friends, too. Keep your circle very small and tight. GO DARK.

3. Good.

4. Get security cameras NOW. Whatever kind you get, PUT UP THE SIGNS that come with it. Buy extra signs for your yard stating that the property is under surveillance AND there is an alarm system. Let his spies report that back to him. You can get alarm signs anywhere. Get one. Or two. Get a "No Trespassing" sign as well. You've got to let people know you mean business.

5. Again, stop communication with his friends. Stop communicating with anyone he is friendly with. It's past time to shut it all down. You know what flying monkeys are. He will continue to get intel from them as long as you speak to them. There will always be excuses for people to come back. Get rid of them.

6. 7. 8. When are you going to HIRE an attorney?

"AHA! The key is with ME!"

"AHA! The key is with ME!" Doesn’t hurt that this guy is 10 years younger and really cute and likes me. But I resisted his considerable charms and eventually sent him on his way and locked the door.

You realize this was a set up by your ex, he was expecting something to happen between the two of you so he would have a valid reason for what he plans on doing to you next.

I mean really, "her things" have been sitting around for over a year, he’s not concerned about that stuff. She offered that it was a lock box in his room that he was really after. After much consideration, it’s his property. If there are drugs in there it would help my case a LOT, but ultimately I dont have the key to it, and its his property. I let her know that I was relinquishing it when I can.

Don’t fucking enable him!!!! Turn it over to the fucking cops! Meth Mouth’s parents did this shit, they found a suitcase in her house full of meth and prescription pills and all sorts of shit and they threw it all away. Stop enabling the fucking drug addict, it does you no good!!! Its not like he’s going to look back on this and be like “Oh that Clove she protected me when I was at my worst, I really am sorry for everything I did to her.”

Agree with all of this. Think

Agree with all of this. Think smart, outsmart him and act wisely and strategically.

One thing at the beginning of

One thing at the beginning of my separation I was told was, respond as if a judge is reading your every word after the fact. Don't put anything in writing or tell anyone (Sulky) crap. Give them nothing to work with. Assume they have bad intentions.

Another piece of advice, go through the lawyer ONLY. It really is time to lawyer up, and find out the best practices. He needs belongings... He can have his lawyer contact yours, etc. Everything must go through the lawyers. No dealing through rando 3rd party people like his friends or his family. No "just grabbing a box".

Ask your lawyer how to handle.. You're dealing with an unstable, abusive man so there are precautions to take to protect yourself, mentally, legally and physically

No drip drip drip

Too many trips and too much interruption to your peace. Too many untrustworthy folks invading your space. You are not responsible for learning about car parts, lifting them to the road for pick up etc.

Does he have a public defender/lawyer? If so have your lawyer contact said lawyer tell lawyer there will be one trip and one trip alone that the police will be present for, where he comes and collects ALL of his belongings...anything left after that are forfeited. You name the date and time and arrange with you local pd.

I'm furious for you that he did this and his entitled behavior afterwards is added poison.

Your victim's advocate can help arrange this I would think as well. Do not put yourself out for him or Powersulk lying liar with the lie hole! She has had a year, goodwill/trash her $hit. Enough is enough. Time to move on. Life is short.....and you sadly know that all too well after this. No more wasting time on POS people.

then she called the police. I

then she called the police. I drove away quickly

Im sorry and I know this isn't funny but it gave me a good chuckle that you outsmarted his scheming spawn and promptly left before LE showed up.

She was probably hoping you'd stay around and explain your perspective / she could provoke you in front of them and you end up getting arrested

But you pulled a 52 fake out on her a$$ .... lol!!!!

Take that powersulk and co.!

Good thing you're letting the trash take itself out.

In the words of MLK "Free at last, free at last .... thank god almighty... free at last!!!"

CLove, this situation is

CLove, this situation is beyond help. All you can do is protect yourself. You have to stop being nice to people.

Change all the locks.
Get a camera system installed that would shame a high security prison.
Block all of his friends and family on all social media, phone, email, text, and anywhere else they can get to you.
Open the door to NOBODY that isn't expected AND either your family or a close personal friend.
PRESS CHARGES.
Get a lawyer - this is not optional.
Ensure that your neighbours are fully up to date with the situation so that they will call the cops if they see your STBX or his daughters trying to get in.
Check with the cops as to whether your STBX is in violation of the order and take their advice as to what to do next (e.g. press charges).
Do not play the wait and see game.

Please CLove, for your own safety, you have to stop accommodating people and accept that there are times when making waves is necessary.

You took the first step

From now on all corespondents will be done by text. NOT in person. Safe alll texts. You want a list of the property he wants. By text, if it's actually his you will,pack it up in boxes and place by front door at X time and day.
ring door bells gets cheaper with more cameras. Front door back door and outside cameras showing more front and back of house

if they want to call the police that's on them. Just have order Protection ready for police to see.

He getting desperate, who else is going to support him and his family

I've been thinking about

I've been thinking about powersulk and her part in this and honestly believe this was a setup.

CLove, you are the sweetest person and have such a loving heart and you try to see the best in everyone. That includes forgiving them time after time with the hope that things will improve and life will be beautiful.

The truth is that YOU are the only beautiful in this situation. Powersulk and Feral Forger were raised with shit values by shit parents and prove they are following in parental footsteps with their own shit behavior. Your kindness and generosity cannot withstand the overwhelming load of shit that your stbx and their mother piled on them over the years. They can only change themselves, which would be a small miracle.

I wish I could be there for you when a call or text comes in or someone knocks on your door because I would call the police Every.Single.Time. No hesitation.

Bottom line: That horrible excuse for a man tried to kill you. He did. His hands were not around your throat measuring for a necklace. You cannot sugarcoat this or look at it in a different light. He is unstable and violent and using others to emotionally trample on you. I believe with all my heart that powersulk was sent there to escalate the situation and try to get YOU arrested.

NO MORE.

Love yourself enough to PROTECT yourself. Chokesalot does not deserve so much as a used piece of toilet paper from you.