This is just a vent due to start of school year and stupid schedules and disorganization.
It never ends...once in a while I slip up with the disengagement and it ALWAYS backfires dammit.
Because the SDs could NEVER be responsible could they?

TWO times in the last two days.

1) DH asks me, in the presence of SD12, "Hey, SD12 has to read x books on poetry this semester!" He's all exited about it. She immediately jumps in about how much she HATES poetry. DH continues, "I think she should read Richard the III" - Shakespeare. Me, "Really?!" DH, "Yeah, that would be so good for her." Meanwhile she's all rolling her eyes. (we are all readers BTW)
I say: well, maybe that would be a little much for a poetry introduction...she doesn't have all the history or social background yet...
DH: Don't cut her short
me: I'm not, you asked my opinion, and I'm telling it. I think she'll get a lot out of whatever she reads.
SD12: But I HATE poetry.
me: you want to be a writer you have to learn and appreciate more than just basic fiction...
SD12 starts walking away...
me: Oh come on, we are just trying to say something from the perspective of those with more experience...
DH: She should read Richard. You keep cutting her short.
me: No, I'm not, she's smart but she needs to find something for herself.
SD12 from downstairs: I'm not stupid you know (I think this was directed at me)!
me: You know what, I'm sorry I got involved in this, and I'm done discussing school for the year. Exits room...
DH: You are being too sensitive...

So I was asked opinion on school things in presence of SDs (not allowing an answer again), gave opinion and it wasn't liked, dissed in front of SDs - gave permission for dissing from SDs, called too sensitive after trying to give opinion and support SD for g*ds sake.

2) Yesterday I came home to only me and SD12 there. I start making an abbreviated dinner b/c there's dirty dishes/pots/pans everywhere (DH and SDs were home before I was by hours; none of it's mine all from day before). It's just amazing that he takes SD12's, "I'll do them later." as a valid answer day after day. It never fails! I set dirty dishes on main part of counter so it's in everyone else's way so I can just do my thing. SD12's sneakers are IN THE KITCHEN. I throw them out of the kitchen (literally) and find her socks under couch from day before (thrown away).

After dinner almost done, SD12 comes up (still no sign of DH or SD10 and it's getting late) and starts making her own dinner as she doesn't want what I'm making (I don't care) - asks about a pot, I say basically figure it out (dirty pots all over and I am not helping).
Dinner done, I text DH that I'm eating. I finish and take care of my dishes.
He's all apologetic and feeds himself and SD10 (she will hardly touch it either, not my issue - at least he was noticing that problem).
Not one dirty dish was cleaned or put into dishwasher by anyone but me so they are still sitting out.
I didn't make coffee or toast this morning for us, nope, not doing that in a filthy kitchen when I can't even use the sink.

THEN DH complains about taking SD10 to school...long commute...bad traffic, etc. His planning needs help; he's STILL making her lunch/breakfast in spite of the fact she's perfectly capable of helping...etc. etc. Don't say a word.

He asks me about SD10 just sitting there in the car doing nothing, like, what should he do?
Like a dummy I answer.
Me: Make sure she has a book/kindle/workbook.
DH: But she doesn't bring them.
me: Well, make sure she does. Or she'll just sit there. She's old enough to figure this out. If she doesn't want to be bored then she has to take care of it, you aren't there to entertain her 24/7.
DH: That's just not feasible. If you had to do what I do and just watch her sit there and stare into space for two hours, you couldn't! You can't blame her for the issue...she can't do that!
Me: Silence.
Basically, I'm NOT A PARENT so I couldn't understand could I? And she's "just a kid!"

Oy. Back to school crapola.

I know at least DH will get the dishes done before I get home today.