Thank you for your reply. I actually have these same beliefs as I saw the same thing growing up with my mom and dad.
They slowly faded in this relationship as there were many things we went through financially. As mentioned to some of the other ladies, we became teammates trying to achieve a goal together. I was able to open up to him and share my concerns and he actually told me he understands and he will be more conscious of this. We are in a much better position today financially, however we are working towards something bigger. Because of that he felt we were on the same page still as teammates while keeping everyone else on the outside happy. I explained to him I would like this feeling occasionally and he understood. I know it will be a,work in progress for us but I have hope.

I actually do and can fully support myself in the lifestyle we live due to what I bring in. However, it's about the "feeling extra special" at times. Thank you for your reply.

Thank you for your kind words and things to consider. Yes I do adore his daughter and I spoiled her as well with gifts. I actually ended up having a talk with him and he expressed that we are currently trying to build the life that we want so he sees me at his team mate in the cockpit and keeping everyone else on the outside happy. I expressed to him every now and then I would like to feel that even though i know what we are working towards and some of the sacrifices we are making and he said he understands and he will get better at taking notice. I didn't know how to go about talking to him about it but I just built up the courage and did it. I do agree with you and believe you get the respect you demand and I feel I did establish that in the beginning but slowly became more lax about things as we both went through financial hardships in the middle of our relationship and then just started building together as a team. We're both in a much better place today with our careers but we are striving for more so while we are still in that teamwork phase, at times I just find myself wanting a little more now that things are better. It turns out talking to him.about it was actually very freeing and we are going to keep working on this issue.

Thank you for your reply. I mentioned to the nice lady above that we had actually went through financial hardships together when we both made career changes for the worse. We both picked ourselves up but during that time we turned into teammates trying to achieve a goal together and that still plays into our reality today. He explained this to me when I decided to have the courage and talk to him about this issue. Although our careers are on the rise and we're in a much better place we still have bigger goals we are looking to knock out. He expressed that he sees me as his partner in the cockpit with him because we know what we want to do long term and at the same time keeping everyone on the outside happy. I explained to him I want to experience this feeling every now and then and he noted he would be more conscience of it because ultimately he does want that.
I completely agree with the love languages as that was shared with us by our counselor. It's something we are still working on/managing.
As far as being a provider, he wants to pay everything involving our household so I let him. I still have many expenses and bills on my own and I put the rest of my income into our savings account and retirement accounts. I do know what our household budget is but I do feel because he pays majority he does try to control that area a lot more..as in he has more say than me etc.
As far as with my stepdaughters mother; they were never married and we're together for about 2 years. My stepdaughter is 9 and they broke up when she was barely 1 years old. She's local and has shared custody but she doesn't disrupt our relationship.
I think you hit it on the head that I have looked for validation from him. I think our talk opened up a lot and it's looking promising so I'm hopeful.