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Giving extra time

Eb523's picture
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So my SD4 lives with her father and me full time. Her BM gets her every other weekend and we meet half way for all of her appointed time. However recently she asked to have her for a week. We agreed but told her that since it is extra time not originally given to her she would need to be responsible for the pickup and drop off and the cost of daycare for that week since we need to pay it to hold her spot. (She does not pay child support and our agreement states she is responsible for half of all daycare costs, which she has never once paid in over 2 years)

After almost an hour of her arguing and refusing to do a full pick up, She is now demanding an earlier pick up time that does not work for us (and we had already told her doesnt) and says she is only responsible for half the cost and will only pay half. I told my fiance that we should just agree to the half Payment, but again tell her the time doesn't work. We are going to court in one week, we can always discuss future Payment then. We don't want to be a pain but she isn't willing to bend on anything, it's always her way or no way.

I was just wondering if anyone has gone through similar situations and how they handled it. We want her to see her daughter and be fully involved. However she is so inconsistent and until we filed for court only took her once every 2 months or so, when it was convenient for her. It just seems to get harder and harder to deal with her as time goes on. Thanks in advance for any advice!

Indigo's picture

I would wait until after court to agree to any extra time. In my state, one of the factors in the child support calculator is the number of overnights.

Just back it up and let BM know that it really won't work for you right now, perhaps at a different time.

MummaTon's picture

I find it weird that she wants the daughter for a week right before you go to court.....sounds calculated to me....

Indigo's picture

Ooo, like that poster who's BM was claiming she was paying all the college money, but SS provided bank statements to show that she only began after the court papers were served. Good point.

Maxwell09's picture

There's an easy way to solve this drama, say no to extra time. This is exactly why my DH just sticks to the CO now no matter what because "no good deed goes unpunished" and it's never worth the list of demands that follow when BM asks (and assumes) a favor.

Rags's picture

Quit negotiating with her and nail her ass to the wall for CS. Once you get the CO revised stick to it with zero exceptions. We learned that this was the best method for us to use to protect the best interests of my Skid and our own best interests against the manipulations of the blended family opposition.

Once CS is set she will likely still be responsible for half of day care costs in addition to her CS obligation. That is how many if not most states set it up.

Check your state's online CS calculator and support rules to verify... or .... ask your attorney.

Good luck and I hope court went well for you.