Fiance and children not getting along

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I don't know where to start. Here goes...

I have 3 children, 2 girls (13 & 11) and a son (8). The four of us live together along with my fiance. We have been together for 3.5 years, 2 of which he has lived with us in my home.

My fiance and I have two very different ideas on parenting. The parenting of my children, that is. He has a 19 year old child that he has given into his entire life. The first time that he was told "no" by my fiance, he moved out and went to live with his grandmother. This kid while he can be very sweet, has no social skills or regard for anyone else as long as he gets what he wants. I have never interfered with this relationship. As much as I want to scream "you created a monster!" I don't. I let him do the parenting of his own child.

As for my kids, my fiance thinks everything they do is wrong. He is very strict and overbearing with them, especially my son. He will look for things to complain about. My fiance will go in search "literally" of things he can punish my son for. Last week he thought my son should not be playing on his tablet as often as he had been so he hid it from him. When i questioned him, he denied it. He finally admitted it to me later that night. He tells my son that he is a cry baby and need to be in diapers when he asks me to help him with something. My son has a lisp which he is receiving speech therapy for and he accuses him of "baby talk" on purpose. My poor baby just sits there and takes it.

I always end up in an argument with him trying to defend my son. I do not understand why it is ok for his child to act one way but my child is the one that gets picked on. Whenever I say "well your son did xyz and that was fine, but now my son is a problem" he says I am playing "monkey see monkey do".

I just do not know how if there is even a way to overcome this problem.

I told him after a situation

I told him after a situation we had this weekend that I no longer thought this was good for any of us anymore and perhaps he should start looking for a new place to live. I told him that I will always protect my children and if that means breaking up with him then so be it. I am not one to threaten so he know's I'm serious.

He is begging and pleading to make it right. He admits that he is wrong and keeps asking for one opportunity to make it right. I don't know...I feel like I'm not sure he is capable of change, but then I think maybe I should at least let him try.

We are supposed to sit down with the kids tonight as he wants to apologize for his behavior and tell them he will change.

I just don't know what to think or feel at this point.

You are getting crocodile

You are getting crocodile tears my dear. He is going to "promise" to make it right. It will be a bit different... for a while. Then he will be back to his old tricks.

In fact, he may quite likely start to act worse towards your son. But he will do it where you won't see or hear it. He will act all nice in front of you, but threaten the boy behind your back to not tell you things.

Honestly, if someone I was with was so meanspirited towards my child, I would have no problem telling him to GTFO.

In addition, the fact that his son is so screwed up means he has been a bad parent for years... you can't change him honey and he doesn't want to change, he just doesn't want to be kicked out. I'm guessing you are covering most of the bills.

This!! If he is capable of

This!!

If he is capable of being so cold and mean to your child, he's capable of hiding it behind your back now that you've spoken up. Most normal people don't have it in them to be mean to a child. My SD is 5 years old and I can't imagine being mean to her, even when she annoys the hell out of me. Most normal people aren't mean to children, period.

He will not change. He will hide it from you.

I hope this isn't real but

I hope this isn't real but just in case it is... Please leave this loser.

He teased a child with a lisp and ask him if he wanted a diaper? Your boyfriend's stuff should have been on the front lawn that night.

Your children will resent you if you allow this bully to stay in your home. Do the right thing, grow some lady balls, and get rid of this guy.

There is a very easy way to

There is a very easy way to overcome this problem - make this man your ex-fiance and boot him out of your house. How is this a difficult decision? I don't understand how you have let him verbally abuse your kids for two years.

If you want to work on

If you want to work on things, then go right ahead. BUT, you do not have to live together while he gets his act together.

Home should be a safe place for your children. They do not deserve to live in the environment you described.

Have him move out and work on his issues. If you still want to be with him, date but keep him away from your kids.

Fuc* that shit! No way in

Fuc* that shit! No way in hades would I give that cowardly loser bullying ass a micro second chance. He'd be out on his ass the SECOND he made fun of my Son.

Please dont put your feelings for this wanker before your protection of your Son, He is only 8 and that boy needs you. You will be teaching him how to treat you and others if you continue to allow that wanker fiance of yours to treat him like shit.

No man is worth keeping if he mistreats your child. Protect your kid and kick that prick out and bloody do it now woman!!

C'mon, sueu2, you DO know the

C'mon, sueu2, you DO know the reason. Women are useless without a man!!

And I just sprained my eyeballs doing gigantic eyerolls.

Hon be wise and tell your BF

Hon be wise and tell your BF to move out, seeing your children irritates him so much in their own home, it would be better if he moves out.

No man is worth this, I'm sorry... not if his child is the way you described SS, I would go total mama bear on him and say something like... you had a change to parent your kid and looked how he turned out, leave mine alone I don't want spoiled entitled brats.