How much alone time is reasonable
Hi there, just wondering what everyones view is on the stepparent having time to themselves on the weekend. My partner has three kids and we have them 50% of the time. When they're home with us it feels like all they do is play computer games in our main living zone. Their dad is a gamer and doesn't have an issue. After living with them for 6 months, I recently snapped . It was like I woke up and simply couldn't stand another weekend like this. My way of dealing with this lately has been to stay away with family Friday night and have Saturday to myself. I'm enjoying this but I sense my partner Is worried that I am no longer keen to be a family. It's not that at all. I just can't stand being cooped up inside listening to guns firing throughout the house anymore. My job is highly stressful and I am craving time alone to relax in peace and quiet. The week we don't have the kids is peaceful. Am I expecting too much to want to have a day to myself when the kids are there? Thanks for your help
The family room TV is not for
The family room TV is not for gaming. Buy a cheap TV for gaming, stick it in a broom closet somewhere, buy each gamer head phones and that is how you deal with that.
No gaming without headphones so you are not forced to hear the orgy of destruction, mayhem, and slaughter. Keeping it out of the family room also minimizes the stress you are feeling and should return your home back to being your refuge space.
At least this is what I recommend.
There's nothing wrong with
There's nothing wrong with you. Clearly your need for quiet time is common to many people, especially if you have a stresful job during the week.
The thing is ... When they're your own kids it is necessary to put up with the noise and activity, plus you get to,decide which broom closet is the games room. I left a relationship,because an SO and his two,sons had the TV constantly set to NFL/NHL/MLB sports and there was nowhere for me to,retreat and read except the bedroom. I felt like a prisoner in my own home.
Is your partner aware of your issues about this? If you can't find a solution with him, or if he refuses to be considerate, then maybe you've signed onto something that just can't make you happy. How about living separately and seeing him durin the week. I did this with an SO whose slobby son was still living with him, and that let me off the hook from the smells, noise, and general lack of control of my environment.
Since you've only been there six months, I take it the kids consider it Dad's place and you are still just a visitor in theor minds. This is the perfect time to,reasses and see if perhaps a living arrangement that gives you what YOU need is possible.
Simply tell SO - it's not
Simply tell SO - it's not that I do not want to be part of this family, but I work and i need to unwind thus I do things that helps me... like you use tv games to unwind, I do other things that works for me...
Then keep on enjoying yourself with what ever...