Are you and/or Dad paying for the smokes? If not, no. The kid will be considered a legal adult in a few months. You'll be expecting the kid to be independent, self sufficient and ready to launch...but you don't think he should smoke without Daddy's permission./approval?
no way in hell do you split on the kid. He's 18 soon, and who cares,
simply pull him aside and say: Kiddo I know you are doing it, it's your life and lungs and money, it's a stupid thing to do but all teenagers does it, I will not tell Dad, just do not smoke in the house and be a clean smoker, I don;t want to see any shit in my yard or smell smoke in my house...
Personally, I would let my DH know if I saw one of my adult SD's doing something I know he would disapprove of. Just give him the information and let him decide what he does with it.
"Hey DH, I'm not sure if you know, but I think SS is smoking cigarettes because I saw him light one up at the mall the other day".. or however you saw it.
Then just let it drop. If his dad wants to confront, fine, if not, fine.
pfft Deigma started smoking age 15..... nothing I could do about it being a smoker myself lol..
funny it actually helped with his hay fever.. and the rule was... not in uniform, not at school/public/friends
you do it alone in the back yard under the big tree....you will not sit next to me smoking... he's 21 and still walks out for a smoke
my own kid took money without asking to feed his habit,, I did what I had to do and he could not sit for days...
then he had to work for money to feed his own habit
You should tell him, he is 18 there nothing you can do about it. Can not allow it in your home that about it. Age on that doesn't matter he can go outside.
picking and choosing on what to tell your SO is not good in general. That could be the first crack in the relationship.
Stay out of it. DH will eventually smell it on him.
I made the mistake of mentioning to DH that SD was seen dead drunk a few times around town. I thought he would react like a good father, instead it became my fault and now the mantra is "you don't like SD". Truthfully, I decided to tell him because I would have wanted the same low-down if it were my kid.
I couldn't stop myself. I would tell dh if I found or saw evidence of sd17 smoking. He would want to know.
I would make it damn clear it was not to happen in my home or yard nor was I riding in a car that stunk of it.
I also might re-think my refusal to take full time custody of BM's dog if I knew he had to live in an apartment where he couldn't escape the smoke. But, honestly, this is one thing I don't think bm would even put up with, either. So both parents would likely want to know.
So, yeah, I would tell. But each home is different. Might not work like that for you.
Thanks for the advice all! My DH did the whole, "hey so I see you're smoking, Just wanted to let you know it's your lungs, your money. Don't do it in the house."
That about all he can do. You can off any money you give to him !! He wants to smoke then he should be paying for it, get a job.
Just be happy that it isn't something else that you can't stop either, Drugs, Booze
Are you and/or Dad paying for
Are you and/or Dad paying for the smokes? If not, no. The kid will be considered a legal adult in a few months. You'll be expecting the kid to be independent, self sufficient and ready to launch...but you don't think he should smoke without Daddy's permission./approval?
no way in hell do you split
no way in hell do you split on the kid. He's 18 soon, and who cares,
simply pull him aside and say: Kiddo I know you are doing it, it's your life and lungs and money, it's a stupid thing to do but all teenagers does it, I will not tell Dad, just do not smoke in the house and be a clean smoker, I don;t want to see any shit in my yard or smell smoke in my house...
Personally, I would let my
Personally, I would let my DH know if I saw one of my adult SD's doing something I know he would disapprove of. Just give him the information and let him decide what he does with it.
"Hey DH, I'm not sure if you know, but I think SS is smoking cigarettes because I saw him light one up at the mall the other day".. or however you saw it.
Then just let it drop. If his dad wants to confront, fine, if not, fine.
pfft Deigma started smoking
pfft Deigma started smoking age 15..... nothing I could do about it being a smoker myself lol..
funny it actually helped with his hay fever.. and the rule was... not in uniform, not at school/public/friends
you do it alone in the back yard under the big tree....you will not sit next to me smoking... he's 21 and still walks out for a smoke
Thanks all! I'm going to stay
Thanks all! I'm going to stay out of it. As long as there is no smoking in the house or butts all over the yard, it's not a hill I care to die on.
keep an eye on your
keep an eye on your wallet.....
my own kid took money without asking to feed his habit,, I did what I had to do and he could not sit for days...
then he had to work for money to feed his own habit
You should tell him, he is
You should tell him, he is 18 there nothing you can do about it. Can not allow it in your home that about it. Age on that doesn't matter he can go outside.
picking and choosing on what to tell your SO is not good in general. That could be the first crack in the relationship.
Stay out of it. DH will
Stay out of it. DH will eventually smell it on him.
I made the mistake of mentioning to DH that SD was seen dead drunk a few times around town. I thought he would react like a good father, instead it became my fault and now the mantra is "you don't like SD". Truthfully, I decided to tell him because I would have wanted the same low-down if it were my kid.
I couldn't stop myself. I
I couldn't stop myself. I would tell dh if I found or saw evidence of sd17 smoking. He would want to know.
I would make it damn clear it was not to happen in my home or yard nor was I riding in a car that stunk of it.
I also might re-think my refusal to take full time custody of BM's dog if I knew he had to live in an apartment where he couldn't escape the smoke. But, honestly, this is one thing I don't think bm would even put up with, either. So both parents would likely want to know.
So, yeah, I would tell. But each home is different. Might not work like that for you.
I'd tell him. If it was my
I'd tell him.
If it was my kid I'd want him to tell me.
You know your DH, will he turn it against you, will he have a chat with his kid or will he ignore it?
Thanks for the advice all! My
Thanks for the advice all! My DH did the whole, "hey so I see you're smoking, Just wanted to let you know it's your lungs, your money. Don't do it in the house."
And that was that.
That about all he can do.
That about all he can do. You can off any money you give to him !! He wants to smoke then he should be paying for it, get a job.
Just be happy that it isn't something else that you can't stop either, Drugs, Booze