DH's 19 y/o daughter is suicidal?
Depression and suicide is a very serious subject. Both run in my biological family. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder many years ago. Medication does absolutely nothing for me and made my depression worse! I manage my depression through proper nutrition, exercise, self care and having a close relationship with my spiritual mentor.
I need to preface all this by telling you I am disengaged (I let go) from DH's daughters. Through the letting go process that started 10 years ago, I have developed a rapport with DH's oldest daughter who will be 22 in august. I have not seen or spoken to the youngest one in 3 years.
DH's oldest daughter talked of suicide when she broke up with her abusive boyfriend of 2+ years when she was almost 21. She came up for a visit shortly after breaking up with her BF at DH's insistence. DH and his family (and me indirectly:-) got her through this difficult time. She is thriving and has less than a year of college left.
DH's 19 year old daughter recently ended up in a psych ward for 3 days because of suicide ideation, an attempt or psychotic event. I'm really not sure what landed her in the psych ward. DH is terrible at asking for details. Her older sister told DH she was suicidal and her friend called the police. Does anyone here know what thresholds need to be met in Florida to be put an adult in a psych ward for 3 days?
Apparently her suicide "stuff" was triggered by the breakup with her long term (1+ years) boyfriend.
On a side note, both girls are very intelligent. I always suspected the youngest one was going to have very deep psychological issues. I'm pretty keen to those types of things. Her withdrawn nature, preference to isolate, hot temper, being alienated from her dad (very long and tragic story) made her ripe for this current event. It's all really sad if you ask me 
DH is bringing his youngest up for a week on July 5th. Personally, I think his youngest daughters psychological issues run deeper than his oldest daughter.
If you were me, how would you handle this situation as a disengaged person? She's coming for a week long visit and I'm slightly anxious about this one due to the recent events.
Pretty sure I will not be
Pretty sure I will not be going to go out of my way to prepare for her visit! I will treat her as I've always treated her. She will get no special treatment from me.
I've dealt with suicidal family members in the past and know what to do in those situations. However, I have not dealt with a suicidal person in my home.
If she has an alarming incident in my home I will call an ambulance or law enforcement, depending on the type of incident. DH knows I will do this, even if he is there "to handle it."
She tried to set me up when she was 13. I regret not calling the authorities at that time and will not make that mistake again. KWIM?
To be honest, all her past
To be honest, all her past "visits" have been a nightmare. That's why it's been almost 3 years since she stepped foot in my home. If she gets out of hand, we can have her stay with one of DH's relatives in the area (grand parents, aunts, etc.)
I felt I needed to bend on this visit due to the nature of her psyche and because it's the right thing to do.
My plan is to be polite and hospitable. That's it.
"My plan is to be polite and
"My plan is to be polite and hospitable. That's it." Perfect! This is potentially a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation. Give SD and DH a lot of room and let DH take care of it. Be good to yourself first and foremost. if it gets too much sens her to another relative.
Polite yes, hospitable not so
Polite yes, hospitable not so much.
I would let DH handle this and you take care of yourself. If you let yourself get caught up in this, it will only get uglier for everyone. Be civil, respectful and polite. That's all. She can help out while she visits. Don't hesitate to invite her to do so. A busy mind is a healthy mind. Don't walk on egg shells and keep your routine just that. She really isn't a guest and I would treat her as part of your routine.
Hospitable to me is making
Hospitable to me is making sure the guest room is prepared and food in the refrigerator and pantry that. That's it!
Don't take this the wrong way
Don't take this the wrong way but they are psychiatric hospitals, not wards. And all you need to do is express suicidal ideation with a plan. They admit you for observation and evaluation.
You are right, Mr. Guilty Fix It won't motivate her at all. All patients are assigned therapists or Licensed Social Workers that work with families to develop a discharge plan/course of action.
The best thing your DH can do is find out who this person is, work with them and commit to following their advice-even if SD doesn't like it. Mental illness is not a crutch to get out of the difficult responsibilities of life. It is very serious and what he allows her to get away with, she will get away with.
You just described how I have
You just described how I have always been with DH's daughters... pleasant but not overly warm and affectionate. I do not want to come off as desperate for their approval because I'm not! I stopped doing anything with his daughters years ago. I go about my business when they are here, which is a rare occurrence. Hope this clarifies their position in my life. After all, I'm disengaged!!
If DH wants to give her a big reception I will help if asked. I doubt he will tho. He'll probably pick her up at the airport, go out to eat and then she'll be off with friends after she gets to our home. **shrugs shoulders** I refuse to go out of my way for someone that believes the lies she has been told bout me. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't so I choose don't! LOL
She needs to hit rock bottom with her issues so that she will seek the intense help she needs. She has plenty of caring, intelligent, resourceful family on DH's side that would help her if she reached out to them.
Thank you for your feeback SA. I sincerely appreciate it.