While the child's mother may have only had a five month relationship with the child's father, they now (out of necessity) are tied through having to co-parent that child for the next sixteen year. Mom isn't going anywhere. And don't count on her ever wanting to be buds with you.

You shouldn't be the person dealing with Mom. She is your BF's past and mother of his child. It's his place to have to do the communication and working together. She's also every every young. I'm guessing perhaps so are you. Stop contacting aka reaching out to this woman. She gets to pretend you don't exist. Perhaps not very realistic on her part, but bottomline is she is not a parent with you and you are not her child's parent.

Seriously? Photos? She can not control photos at Dad's house nor who is in them. I'm going to bet she knows any such photos exist is because you plaster the pics on social media. Right? Knock it off...or at least secure up your setting so she is blocked and can not see them. Be sure any friends of Mom can't see them either. Best way would be just to display your photos in the home and carry snappies in your wallet to share viewing pleasure with your true friends.

I'm not sure what you mean by the you driving/BF too sleepy. Does this mean you are attempting to do exchanges instead of Dad? Or exchanges are very early or late after Dad gets off work?

Is the a court order parenting plan between Mom and Dad? Be aware that Mom could go back to court and try to order where and how exchanges take place. Sometimes exchanges have to be done at neutral places or even police stations. Some orders have ROFR (rights of first refusal), meaning perhaps if the child is home with you while Dad is working, he would have to offer the time to Mom. Remember the time the child is in Dad's home is suppose to be for the Dad and child, not child and Dad's GF.

ok bf's ex cannot tell you you cannot be in the car for drop-offs or in pictures. your bf is letting her bully him and you. I can understand about you going by yourself for drop-off and pick-up - that IS his responsibility. but don't let her bully you and let her think she can tell you what you can and can't do - that is ridiculous. she is being given power to make decisions in your life. don't give it to her. unless something is in a filed Court Order, she has no authority over you or him. don't let him give YOU his responsibilities either though.

Your partner needs to learn about his rights and then fight for them.

Based on a couple of things you've stated, I'm guessing there is no custody/visitation order? If not, he needs to get one, nobody should live their life in fear, bowing down to somebody else because they are worried about having their child taken from them. A court order would make it illegal for her to keep his son from him.

Pictures? You being in the car? She cannot dictate that.

She doesn't need to know you and it sounds like she doesn't really want to, she is just using that as an excuse, so stop reaching out to her. That will get you nowhere, it just makes her feel like she has the upper hand.

Bottom line, your partner needs to deal with her and that does not mean doing whatever she wants to keep the peace. He needs to deal with her legally and let her know that she is not the boss.

Nobody can tell you what and what not you can do. You are allowing this. You are making your life hard on yourself,
Except that you should never do any pick ups or drop off by your self. SS is coming to see his father not you. !!! SO should do all picks up and drop offs. If he does not have time for SS he should stay with his mother.
This kid will never have an relationship with you because EX will make it so

I deal with a Bio mom equally as crazy.. before i came into the picture DH fully bowed down and did and asked whatever BM said because he feared she would keep his daughter from him. There was no CO in place. Since ive come around, ive given him the courage and educated him on what he can and cannot do and BM hated it and blames me for him speaking up finally. They are now in the midst of a nasty court battle and we haven't seen SD for 2 months because her mom hates us that bad.

BM also said i was not allowed to be there with SD when she was being dropped off or picked up... which we did BOTH of.. BM just sits on her ass. I still came to as many PU's and drop offs as i could because I COULD and she was not going to dictate what i was allowed to do.

Your bf needs to man up and stand up for himself and his son. He has rights just as much as BM. and that means going to court and solidifying a CO.

The good news is, BM is only 19, she possibly could be "retrained" However, your BF needs to stop letting her dictate his (and your)life out of fear. And your place in this is to ignore the whore. If she has not been receptive to a "relationship" with you, then so be it. You should have zero contact with her. I have the joy of having 2 BM's. I have been with DH for almost 10 years and can count on one hand the number of times I have spoken to BM2 and I have NEVER spoken to BM1. They both made it clear early on that they are psycho-pants and live for drama and I refuse to let them think that I care. They are bugs on the bottom of my shoe, sure they annoy me to no end some times, but that's a conversation for me and DH, I would never let THEM know that I care.

Frankly I think any BM who wants to treat a decent SM, like you clearly seem to be, in that you say you say you adore the little boy, is an idiot. If I was a BM and DH was dating or married to someone who treated my BS7 wonderfully, I would be ecstatic. The more people that love BS7 the better. Why would I want to hinder that? But I'm also don't wear psycho pants.

If you are posting pics of you and kid on social media- STOP- there is no reason for it and you're just poking the bear
If BM doesn't want you driving the boy- DON'T- he is your BF responsibility, if you weren't around he'd have to find some way to transport him to BM
A far as you being in the car at pick/up drop off? Your BF needs to tell BM to pound salt. Unless you are a convicted pedophile or felon, who your BF has in the car is none of her concern.