Liberty-taking again
My partner's daughter has started coming to my home on WEDS when SHE KNOWS I am in the office. She has come up with the story that her dad said she could take some of my shopping. I don't believe it. I had allowed her to be on the list of persons authorised to come into my home when my grandson was there by himself.she has the money to preen herself with the latest hairstyles and make up but has no money to buy bread etc. She has stolen off me on frequent occasions and calls herself a christian.
She is OFF that list now...She is working her brain to get things free and probably give to get worthless 39 yo brother.
She and her 8 yo daughter hate my guts vice-versa and just use people... I am dreading what she has taken now......
They do NOT love in My home and I DON'T WANT THEM THERE....
I have already instructed my grandson not to let ANYONE in the house of I myself or my partner are not there...just tell them Nanna said no one is allowed in and that can have it out with me......
My gradaon is at secondary school in year 8....
The girl also had went letwrs coming to my home. I am going to speak to get rather about this and get her to redirect her post elsewhere.
Sorry about my typing. I am
Sorry about my typing. I am on the bus. I am talking about liberty-taking.....
So, she comes by your house
So, she comes by your house and goes shopping, taking things? This would drive me insane and I would absolutely put an end to it.
.
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Thnak you for your comments.
Thnak you for your comments. My grandson is not to blame. He only opens the door to authorised persons. She is not an authorised person anyone. I have already instructed him not to let her in if my partner or i or any other adult is not there.I had to tell her to stop leeching off people before but she and her brother are mickey-takers.
I will look in my cupboards when I get home....
Why do people who blatantly hate you want to leech off you. I have it hard enough already and can't afford the things she has.
I have to hide certain things in my home but if my partner and I ever split up, she,her daughter and the worthless brother KNOW that they cannot STEP FOOT IN MY HOME EVER AGAIN..... The only time she contacts her father is when she wants something....I am even thinking of moving house but it will hurt them more for them to know i hate them and know where i live but don't want them in my home. My partner knows I hate them.....he must be aware of the reasons why......
Re-key the locks. If
Re-key the locks. If necessary put the year 8 kid in afterschool care until your SO gets home every day. No one in the house .... period unless you or SO are home.
It may take an actual physical barrier to make it happen.
My grandson is 12.
My grandson is 12.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your constructive advice.
Nope, not your grandson's
Nope, not your grandson's fault. Your SO needs to tell his daughter to STOP. Your grandson should not be put in that position.
Exactly. A 12 year old should
Exactly. A 12 year old should not be put in this awkward position. OP he is probably intimidated by your freeloading adult step daughter. Your DH needs to take control of this situation. Unless adult steps are in good relations with both the owners of your home they should never be allowed to come and go if you aren't there. Especially to go grocery shopping in your pantry. Now she sounds like a poster queen of entitlement!
I agree. That's why I have
I agree. That's why I have removed her the list of authorised persons. She does not come to the house any other day. You know what? I'm gonna switch the day I go into the office and see what happens. i ain't doing shopping for her and her brat. This is the same girl who took the Mickey with my kindness for years until i disengage completely from her, her daughter and her brother. neither. I hope she has taken some soap as she has terrible BODY ODOUR... even my partner complains to her directly about the perfume she wears and she says she aint wearing any......
I look at things this way. I
I look at things this way. I am not going to waste my time stressing about this girl stealing anymore. I have made comments to my partner as to how the cutlery is going missing and I think he KNOWS HIS DAUGHTER IS A DAMN THIEF!!!!! If she can afford to come to my home with big bags of clothing from Zara (upmarket clothing retailer in the UK) and I cant afford to shop there and SHE then still STEALS my things, she will in due course get what the duck got....
Of course I do not mind her making herself something to eat or drink, but where I draw the line is the thefts of cutlery, towels and groceries. I had previous issues with her stealing and she had been in the business of 'professional conjugal relations' years ago. I have implied to her directly that I know about her past but will never disclose what I know to my partner.
She did not come to the house today as she knows that I am home.
I have instructed my grandson NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR AT ALL. ANYONE WHO IS AUTHORISED TO COME TO THE HOUSE WILL KNOW TO PHONE MY GRANDSON ON HIS MOBILE WHEN THEY REACH MY HOME...
I cant wait to see what happens next week, this is the same girl that would come to my home every Friday when she was younger with a friend. On one occasion, I had bought a 12 pack of alcopops. I had no obligation to give the friend anything but said to my partner's daughter that she could take 'some'. The girl took 10 out of the 12 when my back was turned and she had stolen other items from my shopping when I was unpacking and had left the room. She must have slipped them into her bag again....and I think the friend also stole from me too....
THE NEXT TIME SHE CAME TO MY HOUSE I GAVE HER AN ALMIGHTY TELLING OFF AND TOLD HER TO CUT THE RUBBISH OUT!!!!!!! I even switched my shopping day from Friday to Thursday because of her so when she came to the house, everything was put away.
Even when she scrounged off her father and her father and I took her to the supermarket to buy groceries, she would look at the most expensive item on the supermarket shelf and pick it up. Her father paid until I pulled him aside and told him to set her a budget. She blatantly ignored the budget. Now she has to shop for herself she will buy the cheapest things....THAT'S WHAT I CALL KARMA.....
Before I realised what a conniving so-and-so she was, I let her tag along with me to do shopping saying she wanted a few bits and she did the same thing pick the most expensive items off the shelf.... When it came to payment she did the same and walked off leaving Muggins to pay. She even tried to con my kids when they were younger into paying for her stuff but my kids were not having it. On that occasion she had to put all the expensive stuff she had put in her basket back onto the supermarket shelves, EXPECTING MY KIDS TO PAY FOR HER STUFF AS THEY WERE ALL TEENAGERS AT THE TIME. DAMN CHEEK!!!!!
They told me and I told them never to let her go shopping with them again. I never took her shopping again. It all came to a head on her 23rd birthday (she is 30 now) when I told her exactly what I thought of her, how she was a liberty-taker, how she only had a child to get a right to remain in the UK and how her bad behaviour from the age of 16 to 23 had put me right off her. This was the same girl who tried to kybosh me into picking up her child from school every day as I drive a car. I said I would help occasionally as my grandchildren are a priority and I work from home. I have my obligations to do my job and I am not prepared to rearrange my day to suit her.....I already take my 7 year old grandson to school every day but that fits into my schedule before I start work.
The fact that she takes liberties with people is now known far and wide, not through me, but my kids and others are aware of her awful reputation. The mother of the father of her child also hates her due to her bad reputation (i.e. the leeching and prostitution) and refuses to have anything to do with her and her brat as I suspect there are doubts to the paternity of the brat...
She now says she has found religion but Christians are not supposed to steal...
Even the woman serving in the corner shop has asked me how do I get on with my partner's daughter, so that implies that my partner's daughter has been talking about me again....... I have never mentioned anything about my partner's daughter to the woman in the corner shop in the 14.5 years I have lived at my current address. I replied Ok.
I told her straight to her face that I don't believe she is a Christian.
There are people in this world that I just don't like and I don't like HER, HER DAUGHTER AND HER BROTHER.. I am sure that her other 2 brothers abroad are decent young men......HER 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER (i.e. THE BRAT) EVEN STATED TO MY FACE THAT SHE HATED COMING TO MY HOUSE..I said if you don't like it here you can go elsewhere, I am not begging you to come to my home. Another 2 occasions her daughter threw packets of crisps back at me saying she did not like the flavour of the crisps I gave her. I told her to GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. The brat even shouted at my grandson to get out of the living room in front of me. I TOLD THE BRAT TO GET OUT OF MY HOME/SIGHT AND THAT MY GRANDSON HAD MORE RIGHT TO BE THERE THEN SHE DID. SHE RAN TO MY PARTNER CRYING AND I TOLD HIM EXACTLY WHAT HAD HAPPENED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. SHE COULD NOT DENY IT. SHE HAS EVEN BOXED FOOD OUT OF MY GRANDSON'S PLATE OUT OF SPITE ONTO THE FLOOR RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I THEN PICKED UP HER PLATE AND THREW AWAY HER FOOD IN THE BIN AND TOLD HER YET AGAIN TO GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND THAT I AM FED UP OF HER AND SENT HER TO MY PARTNER..My partner had to speak to her (the granddaughter) about her bad manners as I have complained to him and to his daughter about the brat. I DO NOT LOOK AFTER THE BRAT AGAIN. MY PARTNER DOES ALL THINGS FOR HER AS I HAVE COMPLETELY DISENGAGED AND HAVE STOPPED GIVING HER TREATS.. I don't care a monkey's about the brat.....
FOR A PERIOD OF TIME I HAD TO BAN THE BRAT FROM MY HOME AND PEACE RETURNED TO MY HOUSEHOLD. THE GRANDSON WHOSE GOOD SHE BOXED OFF THE PLATE IS 3 YEARS OLDER THAN HER.... HE DID NOT RETALIATE....
My stance is now to ignore them as I am DONE. Let her steal whatever she can manage to find, but my partner's daughter has NO ACCESS TO MY HOME WHEN ME, MY PARTNER OR ANY OTHER AUTHORISED ADULT, IS NOT IN MY HOME..I CAN AWAYS REPLACE THINGS BUT IF MY PARTNER WAS TO METAPHORICALLY KICK THE BUCKET TOMORROW (I AM CERTAINLY NOT WISHING THAT OF COURSE) HIS KIDS AND THE BRAT GRANDDAUGHTER WOULD NEVER ENTER MY HOME AGAIN AND I WOULD BE SAYING GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!!!!!
The daughter and I are civil to each other now but we still hate each other and she knows I only tolerate her because of my partner.
In respect of the smell, my partner has told her on several occasions that he does like the perfume she wears, as it does not smell right...she stated that she was not wearing any perfume ...... I had to run up to the loft and laugh....SHE KNEW SHE STUNK AND I WAS LAUGHING AT HER.... I ALSO HEARD FROM A VERY RELIABLE SOURCE SHE IS MOANING ABOUT THE REMOVAL OF THE TOWELS FROM DOWNSTAIRS. SHE MUST GO TO ONE OF HER POSH SHOPS AND GET HER OWN INSTEAD OF STEALING FROM ME......
I WILL NOT HAVE HER LIVING UNDER MY ROOF EVER AGAIN DUE TO HER PAST BEHAVIOUR..SHE LIVED ELSEWHERE AND THE PEOPLE HAD TO TELL HER TO LEAVE COS OF THE LIBERTY-TAKING. SHE WOULD BUY THE BRAT ALL POSH CLOTHES BUT TELL THE PERSON WHOSE HOUSE SHE STAYED AT THAT SHE WAS SHORT ON THE RENT AND AT THE SAME TIME SHOW THE PERSON ALL THE POSH THINGS SHE HAD BOUGHT FOR THE BRAT......SHE EVEN TRIED TO ASK ME AGAIN IF SHE AND THE BRAT COULD LIVE IN MY HOME ..I SAID NO. MY PARTNER HAD ADVISED HER NOT TO ASK ME AS HE KNEW I WOULD SAY NO AS I THINK HE HAS REALISED SHE TAKES THE MICKEY WITH PEOPLE...SHE IGNORED HIM AND THE FOOL STILL ASKED ME AND I SAID NO.
Have a good evening folks.......
I had this problem with a
I had this problem with a first cousin; she would go into my Father's house and take the same liberty's.
One day she took a small container of nice honey; I made her bring it back. She used my Dad's I-phone, because she had not paid her bill; I called her and told her "do not ever touch my Dad's phone again, or ask him to use it; pay your bill and leave your nose pickers off my Dad's phone." I was blunt and to the point.
Next thing I knew, she wanted to move in and help take care of my Dad. My Dad came to me and said he didn't want anyone living with him, in his home. I had her come over and sit down and we had a stern talk. I told her under no circumstances was she going to move in with my Father and to not take things out of the house or use things that cost him money, ever again. My cousin cried and her sister and she were very upset and hostile to me over it; but guess what, they got over it and I got rid of the problem.
You need to take this upon yourself to correct. Never, never leave responsibility on your Grandson; that is not teaching him honesty. If necessary, have the locks rekeyed. Definitely tell this lady to stop coming to your home, unless you are home. Tell your BF that you have taken action, only after you have actually taken action. Don't rely on anyone else to correct this problem.
Good Luck. Saying "No" the first time is difficult, but it gets much easier. I've been there, done that!
Thank you for your excellent
Thank you for your excellent advice Sammi. I have been following your blogs and respect how you have handled your step issues. I have informed my partner THAT NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE IF HE, MYSELF, MY SON OR ANY OTHER ADULT IS NOT THERE. My grandson has been instructed NOT to open the door.
I myself am there 6 days out of 7 so there is usually no problem.
If his daughter don't like the fact that she cannot enter gain access to the home if no adult is there I have said directly to my partner that she can take it up with ME. She already knows I am BLUNT but I am doing it under the guise of NO ONE being allowed in the home.
I WILL INFORM MY PARTNER'S DAUGHTER DIRECTLY THAT I HAVE INSTRUCTED MY GRANDSON NOT TO LET ANYONE IN THE HOUSE. Anyone who is coming and who knows my grandson's number (very very few like his mum, dad and so forth) will know to phone him to open up.
Anyway two more weeks and then I am going to take some holiday so I will be at the house myself on weds)....
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind her having anything to eat or drink when she comes, but I suppose I generally hate her because of her past behaviour.......I am very generous when visitors come but with some people they just bleed you dry until you have to say NO MORE!!!!!!
I can see my supply of forks diminishing again......the last time this happened, I cussed out loud so EVERYONE COULD HEAR. SHE WAS THERE AND KEPT QUIET...I have never been to where she currently lives (not interested anyway) but I bet she has a good supply of items she has stolen from my home......
You reminded me of something
You reminded me of something I had to do -to stop similar. DH was allowing them to come of anytime without asking me...come home, there there were..a few times ok, but then it was about every other day. So....I told DH no more, period, without asking me. He proceeded to tell me he did not have to ask me, then I proceeded to tell him --to tell them I would be going to their homes and enjoying their porch (I will be sitting in my lawn chair) by the door-- until THEY came home from work...
And, I was not kidding, I was going to make my point, if needed. If I had to get my point across myself, I was going to do it. He knew i was serious and must have said something so that stopped and I installed a security system so I could monitor my home anywhere I was.... highly recommend. No more problems....:-)
Thank you CANYOUHELP for your
Thank you CANYOUHELP for your comments. I am intending to get a security system for the house to make sure his worthless 39 year old son or his scrounger sister and the BRAT do not come to my house. My partner is very laid back but I am the heartless one when I want to be. I work 6 days a week in a pressurised job, whereby an incorrect decision could lead to someone losing their home and basically I want peace in my life...
I have no interest in going to their homes as the son has implied that I have stolen from HIM. The son is the one who comes to my home and then things have gone missing. He leaves things all over the place at his 'harem' of women and he admitted that he could not remember where he put things. He had the dam cheek to sneak women into my home, i.e. his current girlfriend would drop him off and within 20 minutes he would be opening the back door to a number of women calling for him and blasting out music to the annoyance of my neighbours. I spoke to him about the issue several times.. I told him that my home is a respectable household and not a club, whorehouse or meeting place for him and his cronies. Why didn't he take all of them to the current girlfriend's home in West London? He could not answer me. After a few choice profanities I said to him, he got the message loud and clear not to come back into my home. My electric bill has decreased dramatically and relationship with my neighbours is a lot better now...
I have been talking to my partner about moving but maybe in the future if the area becomes undesirable. House prices in the UK are stable and I would make a profit as I will finish paying the main mortgage in 7 years time...
If we move, the scroungers (i.e. the son and daughter) will just want to follow but from my current attitude to them, that may put them off coming to the house when I am around.
The worthless son is BANNED from the house altogether as he WOULD not show any respect to either me or his father.
If anything happened to my partner (God forbid it as I am wishing to spend the rest of my life with him) I would not want to see THE DAUGHTER, HER BROTHER OR THE BRAT EVER AGAIN....
I am hoping that I live to 60 (I am 56 now) whereby frozen pensions from when I worked in the UK Local Government years ago, are released. I will then have extra funds to do work on the house and then install new double glazing and security cameras.......
I, like you, have no interest
I, like you, have no interest in going to their homes (not that I am I ever invited) anyway; but if DH cannot man up and put a stop to what is going on in the only place I can get away from the mess (and that I own too), I will take matters into my own hands. I did.
If you live with a weakling man, like mine, you must take action to protect your own emotional health and well-being: you do not care what anybody thinks, because obviously various parties could careless about what YOU think anyway.
There are many ways to put an end to the insanity. Just do not wait for anybody to do it for you and you might have to really upset the apple cart, so to speak. Yet, in the end, you will have peace in your own home and not feel invaded and not protected.
Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your comments. I am doing all to keep peace in my home. Without my partner's leechers coming to my home, i.e.the son, daughter and BRAT, the household is generally running in harmony. Believe you me, I don't care if the 3 idiots hate me. I hate them too!!!!!
I now enjoy the peace and quiet of my home. When the kids go back to school in Sep I generally take a day off and have a ME day to myself.
One good thing, the daughter has not brought the BRAT here very often. When school returns I suspect she is going to try her luck and ask me to pick up the BRAT on Thursdays!!!!!!
I have told her No on frequent occasions then she worked her brain and started asking her dad to ask me. Again i said no 90% of the time...but when my partner hurt his foot, I did step in and help him pick up the BRAT. When tbe BRAT came into my car she had NO MANNERS and did not even say hello.
I eventually pulled her up on this via telling my partner directly and her manners did improve in the short term.
Most of the time I ignore the BRAT....SHE IS EXACTLY LIKE HER MOTHER.....
I have enjoyed the summer period without the presence of the BRAT around me most days... My grandchildren are NOT angels but the BRAT can lie!!!!!
The woman across the road where my partner's worthless son goes to now, sometimes has the BRAT in her home to play with her daughters. I DON'T CARE...NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEY.... I myself do not go to the woman's house and am very careful what I say to her....
The daughter only contacts my partner when she wants something.
I am looking forward to a stress free life.
Take care and be safe.....
She did not come this
She did not come this Weds....YIPPEE!!!!!!
I just hope her worthless brother does not get to worm his way to anything from my home via his father or sister. The son is BARRED from my home......